My very best friend just lost her daughter less then three weeks ago at 19 yrs old?

Question

She is obviously more upset and saddened then I have every seen her, she is also manic depressive and although she has seen her doctor I am so terribly worried about her, she is completely checked out from her home her animals, this lady is super strong but she has buried her entire family now in six years, I am not sure she will ever recover, there is no life in her eyes anymore, she handled burying her father and all her siblings in a very short time period but now her child is gone. I know this is very long but I need to give info in case there is anyone out there that can help me help her, please only serious answers thanks. I am listening to her whenever she wants to talk but she just seems on autopilot, her husband is not the father of the child but is doing his best but now he's back at work and she spends a great deal of time alone. (Her mom died when she was little)

Answer 1

It has been said, that one can find healing in the church. It's not easy, losing someone, especially a child so young. Perhaps, these quotes can be of some comfort for your friend.

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. ~Norman Cousins

The death of someone we know always reminds us that we are still alive - perhaps for some purpose which we ought to re-examine. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life. ~John Muir

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland


In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. ~Robert Ingersoll


When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran


He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


A human life is a story told by God. ~Hans Christian Andersen


To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die.
~Thomas Campbell, "Hallowed Ground"


We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa


While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil. ~John Taylor


He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery


Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
~Rossiter Worthington Raymond


Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains. ~Kahlil Gibran


He kept at true good humour's mark
The social flow of pleasure's tide:
He never made a brow look dark,
Nor caused a tear, but when he died.
~Thomas Love Peacock


If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again.
~Author Unknown


It is the will of God and Nature that these mortal bodies be laid aside, when the soul is to enter into real life; 'tis rather an embrio state, a preparation for living; a man is not completely born until he be dead: Why then should we grieve that a new child is born among the immortals? ~Benjamin Franklin, 22 February 1756


With what a deep devotedness of woe
I wept thy absence - o'er and o'er again
Thinking of thee, still thee, till thought grew pain,
And memory, like a drop that, night and day,
Falls cold and ceaseless, wore my heart away!
~Thomas Moore


And with the morn those angel faces smile
Which I have loved long since and lost awhile.
~John Henry Newman


The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand of God. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994


Good-night! good-night! as we so oft have said
Beneath this roof at midnight, in the days
That are no more, and shall no more return.
Thou hast but taken up thy lamp and gone to bed;
I stay a little longer, as one stays
To cover up the embers that still burn.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality. ~Emily Dickinson


Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy. ~Author Unknown


When he shall die
Take him and cut him out in little stars
And he will make the face of heav'n so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.
~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet


Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.
~Author Unknown


For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity. ~William Penn

Answer 2

Since the mum is not married the money would go to the daughter. If there's any hindrance you could have HIS moms and dads set things up for you. You might act as her godmother and be the trustee on the account with the proviso that handiest the daughter would get the cash ... I just like the idea of her being 35 b/c in spite of everything, we're whole idiots unless at the least 35. The opposite idea of the financial institution snacking it is legitimate too so that you would recall adding $1 to it every yr until you consider generous. I do not consider i would put it in a financial savings account and i haven't any clue what is going to make it by way of the upcoming melancholy however the Motley fool instructed surprise amusement for long term ambitions. I put $one hundred into surprise a couple of years ago and used to be all bummed out b/c it on no account relatively moved. But in last weeks challenge it failed to transfer both, besides up slightly bit. I have never checked it in these days but I believe it is solid. The worse the financial system gets the more folks will wish to get away on the movies and spot the subsequent surprise hero. The inventory used to be at 33 the final I noticed it. You might must quilt some minor dealing with prices every yr. They simply requested me for $19 despite the fact that the inventory has been going up due to the fact I bought it at 28 however the brokerage would be in a position to explain that. And given that the stock would perpetually be relocating i don't suppose they could close the account and have the govt clutch it but verify that too. Sorry to hear that sweetie. Here is a hug and a shoulder to lean on ... The good normally die younger. As a minimum YOU and i are guaranteed to be around til a ripe ancient age eh? :-) Peace, Love, light! I am Dartagnon Darty to u :)

Answer 3

via fact the mummy isn't married the money could bypass to the daughter. If there is any project you will have HIS mothers and fathers set issues up for you. you need to act as her godmother and be the trustee on the account with the proviso that for the time of basic terms the daughter could get the money ... i like the assumption of her being 35 b/c inspite of each and everything, we are finished idiots until a minimum of 35. the different concept of the financial organization snacking it somewhat is valid too so as which you would be able to evaluate including $a million to it each and each 365 days except you experience beneficiant. i do no longer think of i could placed it in a discounts account and that i've got not any clue what is going to make it interior the process the forthcoming melancholy however the Motley fool pronounced ask your self entertainment for long term objectives. I placed $one hundred into ask your self a pair of years in the past and grew to become into all bummed out b/c it by no potential relatively moved. yet in final weeks disaster it did no longer circulate the two, different than up a touch. i've got not checked it as we communicate yet i think of it somewhat is sturdy. the extra serious the financial equipment gets the extra human beings will desire to flee on the movies and notice the subsequent ask your self hero. The inventory grew to become into at 33 the final I observed it. you could ought to conceal some minor coping with costs each and each 365 days. they only asked me for $19 even nonetheless the inventory has been going up via fact i offered it at 28 however the brokerage could be waiting to describe that. and since the inventory could continuously be shifting i do no longer think of they might close the account and characteristic the administrative.grab it yet examine that too. Sorry to pay attention that sweetie. right it somewhat is a {{{{{hug}}}}}} and a shoulder to lean on ... the sturdy continuously die youthful. a minimum of YOU and that i are specific to be around til a ripe previous age eh? :-) Peace, Love, gentle! i'm Dartagnon Darty to u :)

Answer 4

Hello Tricked. I am so sorry to hear that. Seeking professional help should help a lot. She will not only get treatment (antidepressant pills) but also get to talk about all her grief with the doctor. You as a friend should give her so much support and make her know that death is a part of life. It is important to make her see death as something good. It is a new beginning. I lost my sister when I was very young and have got over it. I went on with my life. Praying also helps a lot. Believing that God´s will is good. Everything he does is for a reason. In my particular case, my sister´s death changed all my family, we started to get along better. Remember pray for her to give her strengh and try to make her believe in God´s will. [e-mail]

Answer 5

Encourage her to spend less of her time alone. If she can get involved again with the things the loves, she will be more likely to enjoy life again and let her rough past stay in the past. Be supportive, but don't try to force her to let it go. Give her some time, and make sure she always has a friend. Offer to go on walks with her or take her to lunch. The littlest things can make the biggest difference.

Answer 6

Someone once said that after they had buried a child they had someone come to comfort them. They quoted Scripture (which was quite acceptable in the situation). They spoke and they tried to tell them life would improve. After they left a second person came in and quoted more scripture (again- welcome and acceptable) spoke and tried to tell them that they would not always feel this way.
A third person came in after. Sat with the mourning parent. Did not speak unless they were addressed. they mostly sat quiet and cried with the parent.
It is said that the third person was the one from whom the parent drew most comfort and strength.

Just be there. Listen. Speak when addressed. Be the one from whom they draw strength and comfort. No words can heal this wound. This kind of wound is only dressed in tearful silence.

Answer 7

See the section on bipolar disorder (manic depression) at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 2; read the whole page, note or print relevant sections for her, and try to see if she will do the candlegazing with you for a while, and on her own. Phone Hospice & Samaritans (phone book) www.samaritans.org Email [e-mail] Also try http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/

Answer 8

It sounds like she's still in shock; it will take the life out of a person's eyes, for sure. My heart breaks for her.
Offer to see her psychiatrist with her, encourage her to get grief counseling and to join a support group for parents who have lost a child.
She is profoundly depressed if she is unable to care for herself or her pets, and needs to go back to her psychiatrist. Grief is a HUGE trigger for patients with bipolar illness.
Talk with her husband and come up with a plan. Volunteer to drive her to all of her appointments and groups. Enlist her other friends, too.
Bless your heart for being such a great friend!

Answer 9

One must enquire deeply within. This will let you see this experience in the right perspective.
Google Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and Ramana Maharshi.
Read their books and reflect on their words.

Answer 10

That's really sad for her, since most of her family is now gone and she is alone.