Mother Knows Best???

Question

My mother does not like my boyfriend of 3 years. She claims that he doesn't do all the things a "good" boyfriend would do; like help take my car to the mechanic or help me move out of my apartment. Those things don't bother me. I'm an independent, college educated women in my 20's, I can do most of those things on my own. Plus. my boyfriend works about 50 hours a week and is the head boss at his company. He's a busy guy.

My mother doesn't have the best track record either. Her and my father are divorced and she dates, but is never successful in her relationships. She is somewhat old fashioned in her approach to dating. Thinks Saturday night is exclusively date night. If a someone she's dating, does not spend Saturday night with her, she gets upset and claims they don't care enough. If I decide to go out w/ friends on Saturday night, that's fine; but, if my boyfriend does the same, he's automatically is a jerk that doesn't care about me. Double Standards.

My mother always claims I should listen to her b/c, "mother knows best and she's older and knows more about life"

But, I somewhat beg to differ. I understand that she doesn't want me making mistakes in my life, but I do have to learn on my own. I'm pretty content in my relationship, but she claims otherwise. She thinks I'm just "settling" which I'm not. I'm about 15 overweight and she thinks I stay with my boyfriend, b/c I have low self-esteem. I don't.

Should I listen to my mother? She's so harsh sometimes, why can't see just let me be?

She told me thinks like, "honey, lose some weight, and then you can find a new boyfriend. You'll forget all about (bf name). He doesn't really love you."

I recently moved back in with my mother after 8 months on my own. So, I have to hear her give "advice" all the time.

Answer 1

Well if you are living with her there isn't alot you can do. She has every right to voice her opinion in her home. I'm sorry, but if you were that independent then you wouldn't be living with mom.... you'd be out in your own place taking care of yourself.

You are just stuck. You are in her home. You want some freedom from her opinions then move out and take care of yourself.

Answer 2

hi... i guess that, since you've moved back in with your mom, you DO have to "hear it all the time"....

i think you could talk with your mom, if you want.. let her know that while you appreciate her advice, you don't need it unless you ASK for some.

i don't really appreciate unsolicited advice, either -- especially coming from someone whose life isn't "all that together"...

i'd also like to say that 15 lbs isn't much, so you probalby look just fine!

it sounds as if you know what you want, and what you're doing as far as your boyfriend and your own life is concerned....

if all else fails, you'll probably have to ignore your mother the best you can, until you can get back out on your own again.

take care of YOU... hugz

Answer 3

Mothers alwayz want what is best for their kids although they don't mean anything harmful by it. By their standard you deserve prince charming. The best thing on earth (like you are perfect) which you are in her eyes.
You are the one wearing the shoes you will have to make the final decision but don't throw what she is saying out give it some thought too. Sometimes she may see things better than you who is head over heels in love. The bottom line is alwayz remember that she is doing it out of love and not spite.
It is the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.

Answer 4

well mom's are always worried abt their little ones...wat u can do is just listen to what she has to say n take those u need n discard those u don't need..kinda tough but try ..