We have been together four years. I told him if he doesn't want to get married, then I should move on and find someone who wants a committment. He still calls and texts and wants to be together. Its very frustrating.
2007-05-06 12:07:08 · 28 answers · asked by belladonna 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds to me like this guy wants to have his cake and eat it too. The truth of the matter is that this guy doesn't want to get married because he can't see himself being with just you. Maybe he is the type of guy that doesn't think it is cheating if he does something with someone else while he is only your boyfriend. A lot of people seem to think this. I have no idea why. Four years is a lot of time to invest into a relationship. It is too much time to invest in a relationship that honestly doesn't seem to be headed anywhere. If he isn't willing to discuss marriage after being with him for four years, then it is most definately time to move on. Don't listen to people that tell you to be more patient. Four years is MORE than enough time for this guy this guy to start being serious with you. No one can control your life unless you let them. Remember that. I am going to tell you what I would do in this situation. I would have a face to face talk with him. Tell him that you really care about him but this relationship isn't working out. You both want different things. You think that the two of you should go your separate ways and see other people. If he then tries to talk you out of the relationship, tell him that this isn't up for discussion anymore, this relationship isn't what you want, and it is OVER!!! Then tell him that you no longer want to talk to him. Change your cell phone number. (your cell phone company will not charge you to do this- I know). Just ignore him. Go on with your life. Find yourself a man that wants the same things out of a relationship that you do. Breaking up is very hard. But over time you will feel better and you will realize that you did what was best for you. Be prepared for sob stories when you go to break up with him. All guys will act like they will change when a girl goes to break up with them. But it is just a bunch of lies to keep you with him. You have had more than enough patience with this man. It is time to just kick him to the curb. Don't try being his friend if you break up with him. This doesn't work out. Just totally ignore him. Good luck. Take care.
2007-05-06 12:27:55 · answer #1 · answered by cmg1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Lady, Won't LET you!!! He just doesn't want to get married honey. Some people just don't and men are famous for it. But you have a right to your own life. Tell him firmly goodbye, no hard feelings, but you have other plans. You are just different, that's all. He is probably not a bad person. Forgive him and go live your life. Remember life doesn't have to be this eternal struggle to have a mate.
Be yourself and learn who yourself is. Pursue other interests besides men. Have fun, do something interesting. If you are scheduled to marry you will find him. It is not a capital crime if you are not joined at the hip with some man. If you want to find the real thing, be the real thing-be yourself and look within yourself for fullfillment. Make your life happen.
Good luck and more power to ya!
2007-05-06 19:20:09 · answer #2 · answered by luckylily72000 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have been together for years now, if he is still can't commit to a relationship with you and get married, then he might be just afraid of the whole thing. He fears commitment.
Talk to him about it. Tell him you are not happy with the way things are going now between you two and that you want to settle down and start a family. Understand him and his fears, but if you still can't convince him, then just break up with him and change your phone number and find someone who's able to commit.
2007-05-06 19:13:20 · answer #3 · answered by peachy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys get scared and frigtened when dealing with marraige and children. No guy will take this as easy. 4 years is a long time and looks like he loves you if you've been together a long time.
I think he still has feelings for you and may still be in love with you if he can't let you go.
He probably knows or realizes that you are speacial and that you are very different, but let's be honest here you r putting to much pressure on the guy.
Wait until he asks you to get married with u. If he does not then move on with your life.
Much loveee!!!!!!!!!!!!+_+ <<+___+>>
2007-05-06 19:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have become nothing more to him than a( back pocket girl!) He wants you there in case nothing better comes along. Sad but true. Only you can change this. Break away from him, the emotional withdrawls will be worth it and, you will find a person who values you, desires you, needs you. Show some class and get some respect for yourself by saying good by to Mr.(WHY SHOULD I BUY THE COW, WHEN I CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE!) Good luck!
2007-05-06 19:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by sandra b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find out why he doesn't want to get married. If he wants to finish school or establish a career first, then maybe some patience would pay off. If he just doesn't want to give up his "freedom" or isn't sure if you are the one he wants to marry, move on and don't take his calls.
2007-05-06 19:13:47 · answer #6 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He won't LET you break up with him? Girl please. You don't let ANYONE have that much control over you! You are you and you gotta do what is in your best interest. If he is just going to waste your time and not commit, LEAVE HIM! Don't answer his phone calls or his texts if you are serious about moving on and in time he will go away! You always have the option to change your # too. Sounds to me like you are hanging on to him just as much as he is to you! LET HIM GO!
2007-05-06 19:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by Nubian Princess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm probebley a lot younger than you . I'm only 13 but i am very wise .you may think that this is a major probem but it's not all. Maybe you're boyfriend is just scared of commiting and dosnt realize how pathetic he sounds. all you really have to do is talk toim innacivilized manor and explain to him that if he dosn't want to commit then he is losing you and he can't stop you from breaking up with him thats just a simple soultion to you're problem and just tell him how you really feel i definate he will understand
2007-05-06 19:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by jakelover101 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If his parents are divorced, then it probably scares him.
I dont want this to sound hurtful, but he also might be the kind of guy that cant live without a relationship and it scared to lose you before he finds someone else.
You need to sit down and have a serious talk with him and have a completely open mind - and so does he.
Good Luck!!
2007-05-06 19:11:02 · answer #9 · answered by DuckieM10 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He just isn't ready. He loves you and appreciates you and knows you are a great catch but he isn't ready for a marriage. It's typical of men. Don't worry too much about it. Rushing into it can cause tension and in the end he won't be happy because he didn't do it willingly. If you absolutely can't wait, then leave the relationship, he can't force you to be with him.
2007-05-06 19:11:59 · answer #10 · answered by newy0rkbabygirl 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋