This is really imortant, I am 14, (abuse question)? please read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Question

Oh my god, I cant breath, I dont know were to start, I dont know if I am taking things to far, I dont what to do?
am I wrong or right?

Last night I spent the night at a friends house, its safe there, her family is Christian,
well, My stepdad texted me at about 12:30 in the morning, and he said things like, "I am so happy to be your dad"
"I love you very much"
And this was unusual, it's like he was sissying up for something he did.
Well, I got home this morning, decided not to go to church, well, this girl named Bonnie, (12)
said that my stepdad was WAISTED, he even admitted he had one to many beers, my sister told bonnie that he was acting strange, He kept giving my Sister Britni Slobbery kisses on the scalp, and said things like "I ove you, I am sooo happy to be your dad"
and he kept giving her slobbery kisses alot, like 1 every 5 minutes, Well, my they let me get a puppy of my own about a year ago, she still is not fully potty trained, which I do regret,
However!
She poo

She pooped on the bathroom floor and my stepfather stepped in it, he threw my pup in her cage and was about to swing it over our backyard wall to the highway with her in it, and my sister grabbed it from him, he threw the cage against a wall, and he said he wanted her gone beofre Tuesday or else he would take her to the desert and shoot her.
This isnt the first, should I tell my counselor?
What do I do I need help desperatly????????????????????????????????????/

Answer 1

Well it sounds like your step father definitely has an alcohol problem and if he has started hitting you and your sister, you should definitely speak to your counsellor.

The more important question is where is your mother when all this is going on and why do you feel you can't talk to her?

Try talking to your Mother first but if you are afraid to or she refuses to listen talk to your counsellor.

Answer 2

Calm down a little please,

The way you started talking I was thinking of child abuse. Instead you are talking about INTENDED animal abuse. If your stepfather had done something that would hurt the dog or even kill it then it would be a case of animal abuse. As it was you got the dog away from him before he could do more than scare the poor creature.

The problem is that your dad is an alcoholic. He won't agree with me or even admit it, that's a big part of the disease. However, he needs help. The definition of an alcoholic is anyone who can't control their drinking or anyone who can't control their behavior when drinking or drunk. You stepfather falls into the second category.

There is a list of a lot of scary things that could happen, but the worst one will be if your father kills himself or others. Your father needs an intervention, but you can't do it. Few people take children seriously, even when they are totally right. You need to tell a parent, not just your mom but, another family member. Tell them that you are worried that your stepfather could hurt, us, himself or others. Describe what he did and make sure to describe the sloppy kisses on the head. You will also need to get your sister to tell the parent the same story and you MUST tell them how uncomfortable your stepfather's actions made you feel, that is very important.

There are a lot of options that the adults in your family can take. If you do the intervention and get them to talk with your stepfather soon enough then you can save everyone a lot of grief. I know that you don't like the idea of tattle telling, but this is a case where it isn't a tattle tell it is an important problem. Your stepfather won't be too happy with it, but you have got to tell the adults in your family what is going on so they can convince him to stop his drinking.

Answer 3

I think you should talk to him. Telling your mom may cause a fight which will immediately put him on defense, therefor getting nothing done. It may even escalate the problem if he blames the dog for the fight. If you are uncomfortable doing this tell one of his friends that knows him. People who don't know him like your counselor tend to pass judgment and don't really care about his side of the story anyway. As you see from most the answers, "he's a animal and child abuser". Drunk males tend to get overly affectionate as well as aggressive. Hence the "I love you man" line that is widely used in bars. Ask him to settle down on drinking and let him know how you feel about your dog. Training a puppy is hard, ask him for advice, this will let him think he can be the solution not just the problem. Above all use tact on your approach, don't start it off as a "you did this" conversation. You might start it with the advice question, but if he is immediately set in defensive mode the conversation probably won't go too far. If you ever do feel threatened, by all means get help however you can.

Answer 4

Kisses from the drunk step dad may not be so unusual, even the text messages doesn't cause for alarm. His anger towards the dog is a early sign of abuse. I'm sure that his anger is partly due to some rules being broken. For example, the dog being out of his cage and cleaning up after the dog. Before you talk to your counselor ......... you need to tell your mother. Ask her for a family discussion including mom, step dad and the children. Then express your concerns to the family. You should get some results from this. It also shows some maturity for such a young lady.

Answer 5

Where the hell is your mom from all of this?

This guy could be a real danger and abusive. The messaging and the kissing, SOO not normal to a stepdad to do, especially if he hasn't done it before!!

Also, the type of anger that he threw a cage with a puppy in it against the wall just because he stepped in her poop, I don't think this is right.

I think you should talk to your Mom about it, and keep your counselor informed so that just in case something happens, she's ready to take action. I think your Mom is either blind or scared of the guy and she probably won't do anything, however, tell her about it just so that she knows and show her the messages and also tell her about the kissing.

This guy is sick.

Answer 6

Well since I'm not really sure what you're asking, I'm going to address a few things.

One-If your step father has a drinking problem and every adult in your life is in denial about it (been there) you need to get in touch with the local Al- Anon chapter for your area. They are a support group for families of alcoholics and can help a great deal with these types of situations.

Two-If he is inappropriately touching any of you or making you feel uncomfortable, you need to speak to your mother. If she is unwilling to help you, speak to your grandparents or any other family that can assist you. If they are also unwilling to help, call the child protective services chapter for your city. Most have web sites and you might be able to file a complaint online.

Three-If he is abusing your dog, you need to call the ASPCA or humane society chapter in your area and file charges against him. The fact that your dog is not yet housebroken concerns me. Is she spayed/fixed? You should get her into a vet soon just to make sure there is nothing medically wrong with her, it shouldn't be taking this long to potty train her. She may be just stressed out because of the situation with your step father and you may seriously want to think about finding a better home for her.

Good Luck to you.

Answer 7

If he's always drunk then yes.. you need to tell someone. Being drunk around small children is very irresponsible as an adult. His threat about throwing an innocent puppy over the fence into the highway is a warning sign that he can get pretty worked up. Telling little girls that he will shoot their little puppy is very very bad. I'm sure its very hard to tell someone on your own family and it takes alot of courage. Maybe tell someone at church. Someone at church should be able to talk some sense into him.

Answer 8

When I was your age, my father threatened to stab my dog and bury him in our back yard....so, I know how you feel. It's really scary! Where is your mother in all this? Can you talk to her? If not, then yes, go talk to your guidance counselor. The best thing to do if he doesnt understand his error is to get rid of the dog. It would be safer for the dog if you made that sacrifice and gave it a proper home. The dog doesnt deserve that. Training a dog takes patience and a strict bathroom schedule. If somehow, you all have not properly trained the dog by now, then you havent been doing like you were supposed to. Good Luck to you Sweetie!

Answer 9

Take the puppy somewhere where she will be safe even find her a new home if you have to I know that will be heartbreaking for you but it will be all the more heartbreaking for you if you stepdad hurts her. As for you talk to someone about the way he is acting when he is drunk it sounds like it could lead to sexual abuse and that needs to be brought to someone's attention. Please do not blame yourself for any of this your stepdad has problems and he needs help. Talk to a friends parent,counselor,teacher,clergy,even the police anyone you feel comfortable with who will do something about the situation. and I will say it again he needs help and for the good of the family and himself he needs to get it.

Answer 10

To those of you who are being insensitive, dont bother answering. clearly this girl is upset and afriad, and if you cant be constructive or compassionate, look for your 2 pts somewhere else.

It doesnt sounds like your step dad would ever be abusive to you or your sister, but i can understand why you would be so starlted by his overly aggressive behavior toward your beloved pet. If this is truely bothering you, and you dont feel comfortable approaching him about it, absolutely talk to a counselor if you have one. It's always scary to think someone could hurt an animal, especially a parent of yours, knowing the animal belongs to someone they love. I would be startled too, but you probably dont have to worry for your safety. Talk to him, and explain how much you love the dog, and also talk to your counselor about how to deal with the feelings youre having, and the way hes acting. good luck

Answer 11

Oh My God!!!! You have to report this to a social worker and/or an animal shelter because Well the first thing about him being wasted when he is watching your sister is NOT safe!!! Also, with the puppy report it to the animal shelter because his threats are considered animal cruelty and after you report it take the puppy to a friends house where it will be safe tell your friend its a personal problem. I know you care about him but you need to be safe. The only way it will stop is if you report it, if you don't.... your only hurting yourself and your family. Here is a social worker number if you need it: (909)-386-1187