I need some help...its a long story...?

Question

There is this guy named Adam that I met 10 months ago while camping with my family.
(He came with my cousins)

We started dating 7 months later.

I really like him a lot, and he is really into God, and so am I, but he lives all the way in Pennsylvannia, while I am in New Jersey.

I recently joined my schools marching band, taking the position as a Color Guard member.

After going to a few practices, I met this guy named Mike.

Mike is really nice and funny, and well....kinda cute..

I guess I like him, but I am trying not to cause of my boyfriend. It sounds awful but I don't know how else to put it.

Mike is here in New Jersey and Adam is in Pennsylvannia, and it is so hard not to be tempted by Mike.

What should I do?

Answer 1

Long distance relationships hardly EVER work! You need to break it off with the other dude and have fun living your life. You will benefit so much more from a relatonship in your own hood! Don't try to sway your feelings. "It is what it is" Sweetheart! Good Luck!

Answer 2

It depends on what would make you happier. I think you should get to know Mike more, but don't hide the fact from Adam that you're getting to know another guy. I am sure it's hard for the both of you being so far away. You're being a bad person or anything, it's only human for you to be interested in someone that you can actually be around. But like I said, get to know Mike better...he could be a better person for you, and even if Adam does get hurt he'll find someone close to him that will make him happy, and I'm sure he won't hate you for choosing someone else.

Answer 3

Long distance relationships are hard, especially for young people. You are too young to be tied to a guy that is that far away. How can you be "dating" if you are not actually seeing each other? Is it just a pact and an online thing that keeps you from having a real relationship with a guy that is at your school? I do think you need to be honest with yourself and really think about if you want a long distance relationship. You can not date a guy that is that far away, you can only pretend. Having a relationship with him in a fantasy is cute and fun after a camping crush, but it is not a realistic thing and you both could end up thinking it is ok to lie or cheat, and maybe one of you or both of you already are doing that.. I would tell him the truth about what your feelings are like, and you should be dating guys at your school or in your own youth group. If you come upon each other again later in life and you have real feelings for him, you can act on it then. I think you should be free to date and form real relationships with guys that are there in your area. If you just sit around and wait for this guy that is far away, you are going to miss a lot of things you could have experienced....like are you NOT going to prom becuase you have a boyfriend in a different state? I think you need to tell your "boyfriend" that you really like him, but he is not here, and it is not good to string him along. You will feel better, and it is better now than to get tangled up in lies and stuff later. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

First of all you should try and define your feelings for Adam and your commitments to him..once you have done that..you will understand the priority of that relationship and accord the apt respect for it.What you do feel for Mike may just be a pang for companionship which you are missing due to adam being away and you might feel tempted to compensate for that.On the other hand if mike makes you feel good about yourself and is good company then it might be worthwile to initiate a friendhip and the play it by the year...this suggestion is based not knowing about how adam feels about you and you havent mentioned it either.

Answer 5

I know this is a tough descision. You must really think about this. Do you really like Adam? or Do you like Mike? Listen to your heart. Let it guide you. Do you want a long distance relationship? or one that's close by? You have to tell them how you feel. Here's another thought, if you can't make your desicion, don't like either of them. You might just pick one guy, and then feel sorrow for the other. I know this just brings more questions but hopefully you'll find answers.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

Frankly, long distance relationships usually don't work out. You need to be able to date someone and see them regularly. If you want to pursue a friendship with Mike, go ahead. Then make a decision whether to date him - at which time you should let Adam know how you feel and be honest with him. He will appreciate that.

Answer 7

It sounds like you have a long distance relationship going on.
you need to be up front with both of them. If you care about Adam you will hang on and just be FRIENDS is at possible with Mike. I know it is hard but I also had the same situation for one is here when you need a shoulder and the other is at a distance. you need to figure out for yourself which is what you want and work at it. and be honest with yoursel;f and everyone involved.

Answer 8

I would go with Mike... Adam may be the one you really like, but when will you ever see him again? I mean, the distance between you and all, you could never know if he is cheating, or if he is in the same position as you!

Good luck! :D

Answer 9

Talk to Adam first and be honest with him and try not to hurt his feelings. I think that you`re too young to trouble so much about a long-distance relationship (in most cases they don`t work so well). After that , be with Mike and enjoy. Good luck :)

Answer 10

Honesty is the best policy here. Sounds like you need to have a conversation with Adam and say you think you should both be friends.