Is it bad luck to accept the same engagement twice, after fiancee was dishonest?

Question

When I found out that he was being a jerk, I took off my ring stepped on it and cursed at it. Then I put it in a box and wrote some ugly words on it. When I see the ring I remember all that heartache. But thank God we worked it out. A new one means a new start but I will also remember why I got a new ring. I don't know what to do?

I gave him the ring back, I won't accept a new one or the old one until he proves he can be truthful and I feel it's right. He didn't physically do anything, he was talking to her exclusively flirting around and possibly making plans to meet.

Answer 1

If He Did It Once, He'll Do It Again. He'll Keep On Playing With Your Mind And Heart As Long As You Let Him.

Answer 2

It's all about what you're willing to accept and forgive. I will guarantee that even in the best of marriages, both with disappoint the other in some way or other. Marriage is two becoming one. It's about compromise, and accepting one another's flaws, as you hope yours will be accepted. That's not to say that you get the word WELCOME tattooed to your forhead, so that your husband wipes his feet on you whenever the mood strikes him. It means taking your marriage vows seriously, and working through even the toughest times. Yes, that includes infidelity. If you have truly forgiven this guy, then you're no longer holding his past against him. You're starting new, even though you will be a little more vigilant while working on re-building your trust. Yes, he'll probably be a jerk again. So will you. But commitment means you're going to stick with this man, no matter what. I would suggest, before getting married, going to a marriage counselor or pastor. This will really help you with issues that you haven't even thought about, and will teach you how to work through issues, instead of taking a hike every time things get tough. EVERYTHING can be worked out, no matter how bad things are. As long as the both of you will lay down your pride, and admit you could be wrong, it can be healed. There are some circumstances where it's best for one or the other to leave and get help, like in the case of drug, alcohol and physical abuse. But it's rare where I would suggest the couple get divorced. That just creates a whole different set of problems, and unless the couple gets counseling, they'll end up not working through the issues that made them split in the first place. That's why a lot of second marriages don't do so well. Anyway, I'm glad that you worked through this very tough issue. Just think of it as practice for the hills and valleys of marriage. As for the ring, I'd keep it, and let it remind you of what you're working so hard for the next time you and your fella go through a hard patch. I look at my ring, which was purchased as an engagement ring in September 1976, and I see hard times and good times...a reminder that neither one of us walks on water. He broke my heart, several times. And I learned that I needed to let my husband be the man of the house, making the final decisions for our family. We both learned some hard lessons, and have come through it still together, after almost 30 years. Keep the ring, and let it be a symbol of the first of many triumphs of your love. <*)))><

Answer 3

I think you should have given him back the first ring its ridiculous that you keep something that is only a bad reminder. At least he can sell it to help pay for the second ring. Engagements can be as long as you want I would hope yours would go more than a year to make sure. You might look at an Engagement Encounter many different churches encourage people who want to marry to go to one.. you go away for the weekend, go through tests and counseling to make sure you really are right for one another.

Answer 4

Well I would call it a lack of trust dont marry or accept a ring from him again for a few more years let time heal the pain. Unitl you can forgive and forget dont accept it. Once a jerk normally always trust me I have been in your shoes and it didnt work out to well in the end.

Answer 5

I'm in a similiar situation. My husband cheated when I was pregnant and I took off my rings. We had filed for divorce and everything, then we worked things out. I refuse to wear my old rings. Told him I wanted new ones.

You're always going to remember, old ring or new ring.

Answer 6

If things are working out, accept the same ring back as long as you are sure he loves you and you love him. There is no need for a different ring.

Answer 7

My fiance had my engagement ring custom made for me, and the jeweler stated that we could desire to do this as quickly as we had my wedding ceremony band made. yet I had in no way heard of that, and that i does no longer want that achieved the two. I plan to have a marriage band made that fits the engagement ring my fiance designed (it somewhat is a three-stone ring centre diamond with a purple sapphire on the two factor of it). My wedding ceremony band would be a a million/2-band of purple sapphires and diamonds in a shared-placing sort. with the aid of fact it will be so fancy i want the alternative of donning it on it somewhat is own, with the aid of fact on extra casual day all that glint will appear like slightly plenty, and while i'm determining a eliminate my engagement ring with the aid of fact it gets banged around, yet i will placed on my wedding ceremony band. i do no longer comprehend anybody that has theirs related. i think of it somewhat is a private determination (in the event that they seem to be a like minded set i will see that some people could desire to continually placed on them at the same time so have them related, besides the shown fact that it somewhat is no longer my determination). #2: rather some people do no longer placed on their engagement ring for their rite, or they placed on it on their superb hand so there's a "bare finger" for the ring rite/the professional pictures of him sliding the ring on.

Answer 8

I agree with casually ! I would not recommend marrying this guy if he was already dishonest with you once. If you insist on the engagement ...better make it a long one before you make a big mistake.

Answer 9

If you can't forgive him for what he's done to you in the past, then you shouldn't marry him. That's not being fair to him or you. He will eventually resent you for not forgiving him, you'll resent him for the way he treated you, he'll probably start treating you worse, and things will just keep rolling downhill.

Answer 10

I understand your concept but if her was dishonest as in cheated on you with another as in sex or a separate relationship, then all you are telling him by getting back together is that it is ok for him to do it again because you will forgive him - and he will do it again.