Will i ever get over the death of my mum?

Question

my tears have flowed for days she died last thursday

thanks to you all

she was only 58 and am the oldest of 5

she is dead and buried saw her in chapel of rest that was not her not how i remember

Answer 1

When we lose someone we love it hurts like hell but I think that is the price we pay for loving and being loved . You will feel better with time . It may sound cliched but time does heal . you never really get over it but you learn to deal with it and in time the painful unhappy memories begin to fade and the happier ones are easier to recall. the next time the image of your mum in the parlour comes to mind think back to a happy time that you shared . remember what that felt like and take comfort from the fact that no-one can ever take our memories from us , your mum is only ever a thought away .
bless you and your family

Answer 2

My deepest condolences to you. I know it feels like the end of the world.Our mums' are the ones we miss the most.What you are feeling is the most natural thing in the world .I hope you have a loving family around you to help and comfort you at this time.I don't know whether the funeral has taken place yet, that is a difficult day, but there are usually lots of people there who will take your attention for a while. The worst time is when they have all left and you are on your own with your memories..Things will improve with time,I promise you.You may not think so at the moment but they will, especially if your family is able to visit you regularly. You will be able to look back and remember mum with love, a bit moist eyed perhaps, but your heart will not be breaking so much.It can take a while,but the process of mourning is gradual. You never forget the person but you look back and remember the good times and are thankful that your mum was your mum and are grateful for all the things she did for you, all the things she taught you and more than anything all the love she gave you.Remember her with pride. Live your life to the same standards she set you and you won't go far wrong. I know that so soon after her passing away it is difficult but with the help of family and friends you will find the strength and courage to come through it all and to be a person your mum would be proud of. God bless you.

Answer 3

I also thought that I wouldn't be able to get over the death of my dad. I was actually thinking, "Will I ever live normally again after this?" I felt that I can never enjoy the things I enjoyed before the same way again but I was wrong. Time healed my wound. Add to that the consolation that my dad is no longer suffering. He had a lot of diseases and complications due to smoking and death finally put him to rest.

Also, think about this -- we will all die one day. Death will come to your mom some other day if not last Thursday. It's just an inevitable facet of life and we have to accept that. At least now, you only have to cope but the fear of her dying one day is already gone.

Think about this too: Your mom is not her body. Human beings are souls with bodies and not the other way around (as C.S. Lewis once said). She may be living in a blissful existence with God right now. Some people may say it's just an opium that we feed into our minds to find solace but I for one do not believe it blindly. I think that the materialistic worldview is more irrational. The mere fact that we are conscious now runs in contrast to that very notion.

You may also want to buy this book: "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye." You can find or request for it on your local bookstore.

I hope I somehow helped to ease your pain. Good day!

Answer 4

Awww. You Poor Thing.
I Really Feel For You.
Getting Over The Death Of A Loved One, Will Be Very Hard, And The Next Few Weeks Will Be Very Tough, But Things Will Start To Get Easier, I Promise =]
Best Wishes xx
For More Help Look Here =] http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

Answer 5

Losing your mum is a very painful experience, and right now your experiencing raw fresh grief. There is no saying how long you will feel this way, but little by little, you will begin to pick up. It is far better to deal with your grief now as you are doing, because when it is locked up inside a person, it causes harm. It takes courage and awareness to grieve, and I would encourage you to grieve well. Allow these tears to flow, talk about your mum and your feelings in these early weeks and months as much as you can. Try not to look to tomorrow or the next day, but take each day as it comes, because your thoughts and feelings, some rational, some irrational will fluctuate.

As time passes, your grief will become less intense, although you won't ever forget, and you obviously wouldn't wish to.

I lost my mum many years ago, and since have lost my youngest child who was 12, so I speak from experience. When I think about them now, and its often, I smile, and remember the precious times we had together, and the little everyday things which made my life special.

At such times as anniversary's, birthdays, Christmas, etc the grief is more poigniant, but with God's help I approach them, knowing that God is with me, He has been my very present help in my times of need. I call out to Him, who alone is the God of all comfort. I trust that you have this experience too!

God bless you, and I will be praying for you in these days.

Answer 6

my heart goes out to you. i lost my dad a couple of years ago and the pain was unbearable. as your loss only occured a few days ago it will feel very hard to imaging how you are going to cope and you may even go through periods of wondering if there was anything that you could have done. this is all normal. my dad died of an illness so there was nothing that i could have done but i still felt that i should have done something.
i experienced odd moments when i would forget he had died and then it would hit me and i'd feel low again. this is normal too.
for now it will feel as though you wont ever be able to function properly and the next few weeks and months may crawl passed slowly as you remember fond moments, but the pain does ease with time.
as you adjust to the new phase of your life you slowly emerge from the bleak feeling and start to get on with life. you will never forget them but you will come to accept what has happened and the memories will eventually put a smile on your face rather than make you upset.
if you feel that the grief is overwhelmingly consumming you then organise a chat with a grief counsellor. they are there to help you get through the difficult times.
i hope that what i have said will be of some comfort and that you can forget the pain and remember the happy memories.
they may be physically gone but they will always be in your heart.

Answer 7

Oh I am so sorry to hear about ur loss. I recently lost a relative and I had such a hard time coping and all I could do was cry and cry every day and every night. The pain felt so bad I thought I would never be able to get over it. But I turned to God and prayed for this person and my family supported me a lot. One thing I can honestly say, it's true that time is indeed a great healer. Try to stay calm and patient, God is with those who are patient. Take care.

Answer 8

Sorry you are hurting. You don't say how old you are or how old she was or how she died. Some of that makes a difference but in any case--you will get over it when you are ready. Each person is different. She was probably the most important person in your life and now your life is going to be different. It depends on how you adjust to change. We as a species tend to resist it but it's the only thing we can count on. Do the most of your grieving privately or with someone who really cares. If after say 2 years you are still "distraught" then you might want to see a professional counselor. Do use grief groups if there's one in your area. Like I said, talk to a friend or friends but you still have to live your life so find the balance between adjusting to losing her and going on with your own life and making her proud of what you do.

Answer 9

Before I answer the question, I am very sorry to hear about your loss, and hoping that she was very close to your heart, and that the two of you had some wonderful life long experiences to look back and charish.

Death is a natural event that we often don't understand. We don't want to let go, we need that person in our lives and we feel that we can never adjust without them.

How long you mourn is different. It took me 6 weeks when my fiance died. If you have a faith, this is the time to pray. If you don't mind I will pray to my God over you, you can do what you wish with it.

Answer 10

I am so sorry for your loss, You will never get over the death of someone close to you, but it will get easier, the tears will flow less and less and you will be left with happy memories. Grieve for your mum and cry as much and for as long as you like, this is the best way to help you come to terms with your loss. When i lost my dad (4 years ago now) i made a memories box, with photos and things my dad had given to me as well as my thoughts i find this a great comfort on difficult days and still add to it now, i write down things i would have told him if he was still here. I hope this helps you.