Hi im a 17 year old male currently in a relationship, yes i know 17 seems young but believe me it's not now i live in New Zealand and am a virgin and for 17 and a virgin man these days is pretty late but the thing is she is not a virgin and somehow i feel somewhat angry, and sad about it, like she didn't wait. And she's had more boy friends and a lot of one night stands and shes the same age and i feel threatened and embarresed about that too cause i had my first kiss with her a week ago "sad i know" I mean i don't wan't to learn from her im supposed to teach her stuff im the man! but now it feels like im the woman, so therefore results me in playing mind games tell me your thoughts on this have u ever heard such insanity cause i think about it a lot and it drives me crazy please help!!!!!!!
2007-05-05 22:20:27 · 6 answers · asked by ashley j 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
dude, if you're so bothered by it then leave her. she's not teaching you anything. i was in a situation like this. only opposite. i was like the girl you're dating. i've taken a few virginities. i didn't care if a guy was a virgin. she's with you now. deal with it. if she didn't like you then she'd dump you for someone she can sleep with.
2007-05-05 22:28:33 · answer #1 · answered by Audra 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Those are old-fashioned stereotypes in your head about what it means to be a man. She sounds like she made some mistakes in her past. You sound like a terrrifc guy.
Being a man is not about teaching a woman something sexually. There is nothing a man can teach a woman about her own body.
There are ways to educate yourself to make up for lack of experience. There are libraries filled with books on positions and research about what people like and don't like and so on.
Please be assured that no decent girl will mind. The fact that you haven't slept with half of New Zealand is a testament to your character. It does not call your masculinity into question at all.
Normally I'd tell you to get help with your insecurities (and perhaps you should) but maybe the real issue here is values. Give the relationship some more time and try not to play mind games.
No good comes from that. If after a few more months you may decide that you have a different value and belief system than she does so you may not be a good match.
Please try to understand though that women feel bad about the one nighters and all the boyfriends - especially when they meet someone like you and wish they could change their past. To her, they may have been mistakes. :( Don't be angry at her for that.
2007-05-05 23:39:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stop to let your ego depend on how much or little sex you had. Or another for that matter. You need not feel threatened by her in any way. you just make different choices. Ask her why she chose not to wait. ask for a serious answer. try to understand why she chose the way she did and try to get it clear for yourself why you chose otherwise and what the importance is of that. It should at least not decide your worth. It is not something that you should let you drive crazy... ( strange formulation.. sorry) but the point is, if you love her, then it should not matter whatsoever who she has been with. Why is it hard for you to learn from her? would that not just give you something wonderful instead of crushing you ego? everybody has to learn sometime... It does not make you the woman if she knows something you dont. I bet there is lots you know that she doesnt. It does not make her worth less. you are just different. try to understand eachother instead of letting this eat your heart... talk about it... think about it... work the problem.. :) Playing mindgames will only hurt you in the end and from what I read here it is already eating your heart too.. so let it go, find another direction to think towards... find new insights, you might enjoy the new things you learn. :)
2007-05-05 22:29:10 · answer #3 · answered by freebird31wizard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a teenager is tough. Lot's of presssure. I know...I was one oh ..about 500 years back.
All things teen can be rough. If you feel like the girl then you are with the wrong partner. Listen hun...it isn't the guys job to teach anyone....you and your friend are both young...truth is ??? You are teaching each other. Virgin or no.....so what...! You are a gentle sincere guy that women will love despite your lack of experience.
Trust me ...women would rather be the teaher than be with a player...be you and stay cool....!!!
Christine
2007-05-05 22:27:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anastasia Beaverhausen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Holy cow, is it still the 1950s in New Zealand? Where did you get this junk about how you're the man, you're supposed to teach her stuff? Pleeease. You need to stop trying to live in some kind of bad movie and start living really, like a real person. Man, if your girlfriend has put up with this stuff to this point she is a saint. Deal with your insecurities and realize that they have zero to do with her. She isn't the cause of them, it isn't her job to fix them, and she doesn't have the power to even if she wanted.
2007-05-05 22:27:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, it is not insecurity. It is more like being in control and wanting to take the position as being the man.
Nothing wrong with that, but.........if you are feeling that much resentment, you may need to break it off with her, otherwise you are going to be miserable.
2007-05-05 22:24:53 · answer #6 · answered by Staci C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋