What would you do if your 13 yo daughter, a c cup, told you she doesn't want to wear a bra any more?

Question

Mine did, said bras suck, she wants her breasts free and doesn't want wear one any more. Said many of her girl friends don't wear one and their moms dont mind. Shd got a sound NO WAY! Though it's her body, bras and even the type of bras a teen wears are a mom's decision. I love and protect my girl.

Answer 1

But are her girlfriends C cups? Peer presure might be caused by jealousy too.
Merely point out to your daughter that those perky breasts at 13 can end up somewhere around her navel in later life without support, especially as she's probably going to get bigger still.
And those hanging that low aren't going to be too attractive and may give her back a hard time if they don't have support. Also breast tissue is more inclined to stretch marks if not supported.
Also sports and other activities can be uncomfortable without support.
Another thing to try is some nicer lingerie, some thing maybe with a little colour? Or prints?
Good luck from Mum of 3 Daughters.

Answer 2

Personally, I think I would compromise with her a little. If you feel she needs to wear a bra, let her pick the type. She might find something else more comfortable than what she's tried and says sucks. I think a 13 year old is old enough to know what they like and make decisions about what they wear if it's reasonable. Maybe require her to wear some kind of bra out in public, but let her go without while at home. I would say a little leeway is OK on this one.

Answer 3

For a 13 year old she's pretty well endowed, she might even feel uncomfortable because some of the other girls might not have them like she does. Maybe she doesn't feel like she fits in anymore... and thus not wearing one will make her fit in again?
If her friends aren't blessed the way she is in that area maybe it's okay for them not to wear bras because it's not so obvious.
We all know bras suck and can be uncomfortable. But try to make this into a positive! She's becoming a woman and beauty is pain. I would also try doing something fun like giving her 40 bucks letting her go to Victoria's Secret, getting someone to size her right because sometimes it's more uncomfortable if she's wearing the wrong size and letting her pick out a bra and style THAT SHE REALLY WANTS. Offer to go with her but if she wants to go by herself that's okay too. Sorry mom but at 13 sometimes it's embarrassing to be seen w/ u.

Answer 4

oh please were not talking about SEX here. the poor thing just doesnt want to wear a bra all the time she cant help she got big boobs at her age. i had a C cup in 4th grade and i didnt wear and bra and i still dont half the time now and im a 40dd. she just wants to feel a little more normal around her friends. u think she doesnt already feel akward enough? and it doesnt make u look slutty if u dont wear a bra, people like that are so up tight, u should be asking ur self why the hell ur looking anyways if its so slutty and nasty. And the perfect way to solve the whole problem is to have her goto walmart and buy the stick on bra, or the stick on nipple covers and noone will ever be able to tell the differece. try to work with ur daughter some, it will help her self esteem in the long run if she feels like mom is aleast somewhat willing to look into other ideas

Answer 5

Although peer pressure is making your daughter reject the bras, what if she gets to choose the bras she would like to wear, even the crop top style of bras would give some support but not look like a bra. Her bras may be uncomfortable and a different style may keep her wearing them. She may find that it is uncomfortable without a bra when doing sports etc. Often the term 'many' to a teen is actually just one or two friends.

Answer 6

It is your decision how to clothe your daughter and your duty to love and protect her.

Make sure you know why she doesn't want to wear a bra. The suck? Are they uncomfortable? Does she not like how they make her look? Does she just not like being different from her girlfriends who've gone the no-bra route?

The best solution would be one that makes her happy and obedient. Is there a style of bra that would make her happier you could get her? Is there something she or you could do to make her bra-wearing more enjoyable?

Figure it out. Some battles are worth fighting (I would guess this is one of them, though on the lower end), but it's best not to have to turn it into a fight.

Answer 7

My daughter said the same thing. I got her a sports bra and she likes that. I let her around the house just wear a T-shirt. Victoria's Secret has some tanks with built in Bras we got those for summer. And some schools have a dress code so see if that will back you up

Answer 8

I wouldn't want her not to wear a bra for obvious reasons that the others have stated.

Get with her friend's mothers. Maybe they haven't thought that 13 year olds could wear training bras or whatever. If I was you, I would get with them (if you don't know them, now is your chance!) and maybe take the girls bra shopping. What girl can resist shopping?

Answer 9

wow thats a tough one. You know she is just trying to exert her independance. At the same time its not the kind of thing that is easy to overlook. Perhaps you can explain gravity to her? Though I think at 13 she will likely feel that it does not apply to her. Does she have a roel modle that wears bras? Mayeb you could try that angle. A last suggestion, try gettting a really bad photo of her and showing her how she looks bra-less, not the nicest of tactics but it worked for me in a slightly different situation (thong under wear sticking out the back of trousers)
Best of luck

Answer 10

I know we want our children to have the opportunity to make their own decisions, but we have to remember that they are children. We are here to lead them...and sometimes the leading needs to be more forceful than others. I cannot think of one good thing that could possibly come from this decision to let your daughter go without a bra. I can guarantee that your little girl will be seen "a different way" by teachers, boys, and everyone else. Not to mention the fact that she needs the support at her age. Just because her friend decided to have sex at age 13 and her mom thought it was ok, would you allow your daughter? I would try to find a new circle of friends to encourage my daughter to hang with.