Why is it wrong to be gay even if you don't have sex?

Question

And if you can't help how you feel? My spiritual director said I should go to confession, but how can I confess if I didn't do anything wrong?

For the record, since some of these answers aren't even meant to be helpful, I'm not just blindly following a religion. I know why I believe what I believe and I'm not wanting to change my religion. I don't think church and sexuality have to be mutually exclusive, and all I'm looking for here is some help in working things out. If you're only going to tell me to stop practicing my religion, I don't want to hear from you.

Answer 1

Being gay is not a sin. Attraction isn't really a choice, so there is no way that could be a sin. Acting out on a homosexual (or any unchaste) impulse is a sin. If you are not sexually active, then you are not sinning. Perhaps your confessor was somehow mislead into assuming you were sexually active?

Keep in mind that it isn't just "going all the way" that is sinful. All sexual activity outside of marriage is disordered from what sex is meant to be for us. That includes groping others and masturbation and such. So if you are doing that, then you would need to go to confession.

And maybe he just suggested you g ot confession just as a matter of course. Going to confession is always a pious act, even if you just have venial sin on your soul.

But if you are living a chaste lifestyle, then simply having different temptations does not qualify as a sin. Heck, even Jesus was tempted (and boy, was He tempted).

Hope that helps. :)

Answer 2

You aren't choosing to be gay so it's not your fault. And even if you could choose there is nothing wrong with being gay. It doesn't hurt anybody else in anyway for ther are plenty of things in this world that hurt people but a person's sexuality is never it. This is what I meant in a question I asked earlier where I said that some religions are flawed because if it was as forgiving then they would understand, but guess not.

Answer 3

If you are having carnal thoughts or engaged in action, that's the wrong part, if it's not that, it's love, and God never spoke about that being wrong. I'd worry more about God and less about what direction the Director thinks YOU should be taking. Cut out the middleman and the message gets a lot clearer.

Answer 4

Sex before marraige is condemned but so are lustful sexual thoughts. Those also are sins, not just for gays but also for heterosexuals. If you're not having sex and you're doing the best to control your lustful thoughts and as a christian confessing them as sin when you do have lustful thoughts, then I don't think you are doing anything wrong. But there are people who can help you have normal thoughts. Why not look into it. http://www.exodus.to/

Answer 5

The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition

Cheers :-)

Answer 6

The same reason its wrong to burn deep down with anger yet not hit the person youre mad at. You have restraint and thats excellent, but you are still harboring the love you have for that sin. Its kind of like releasing a rabid anti-human wombat into your house and then having the expectation that you are going to simply cope with it and assume it will never get the best of you. But even though you think youve adequately armored yourself against that critter, he is careful to strike at the times youre most vulnerable, like in the shower naked.

Im afraid that if you continue to harbor love for that sin, you are inviting Satan in your house, but warning him not to get you. Eventually he will.

Jesus said that that is exactly how sin starts, is just by thinking about it, entertaining it, and eventually giving in to it.

Answer 7

I dont think it is wrong to be gay...
And if your spiritual director suggested you go to confession for your thoughts, i would suggest you find another spiritual advisor.
If your concept of God isnt working for you, you can use mine!
My Higher Power only requires faith and doing the "next right thing"
An harm ye none, do what ye will.

Answer 8

Can you just pray, talk to God tell him how you feel, what what your director said to you how you feel about that and ask him to let you know what is right or wrong he said "I would not have you ignorant" and "if any one lacks wisdom let him ask of God".
Believe He will let you know just trust Him.
Don't worry so much!

Answer 9

It's not wrong to be gay. Just be yourself. You have the right to happiness and you should absolutely NOT go to confession. That's rediculous. If you go your turning your back on yourself...(not to be taken literally)

Answer 10

There's a difference between homosexual orientation and homosexual acts. A person can BE homosexual but not commit homosexual acts--the point isn't what their orientation is, but what they are doing about it. Are you focusing on your desires, or are you focusing on what God wants for you? I know several gays and lesbians whose hearts are totally given to serving the Lord, and if these people hadn't told me they were gay or lesbian, I wouldn't have known what their sexual orientation is because they are so focused on serving the Lord that their sexual orientation is not the point. And as they keep their focus on what God wants instead of what they want, He helps them do what He wants them to do--not what they want for themselves.

If I can help answer any other questions you might have, feel free to e-mail me at [e-mail]. Take care.