Does Bi-Polar Disorder include physical violence toward women?

Question

My pregnant daughter's fiance is bi-polar. He has begun punching her, etc. She wont leave & I wonder if his bi-polar disorder is related.

She came back home, had him arrested & a protective order put in place. He violated his protective order & was re-arrested. His parents (mother also bipolar & on meds) bailed him out at $5,000. She disappeared about a week ago & then left a note saying they were working things out & they decided no more talking to anyone about each other. Which screams his isolating her & scares me even more. I am soooo angry but decided if I come against him that might isolate her more. So I thought of coupling with him for bipolar help. Trying to walk very carefully here. She's aware of victims advocate but I also know there's an emotional pull that keeps her hooked. She's 21 years old.

A few of you seem to think a parent of a grown child can tie them to a chair and call it settled. I wish it were that easy.

Answer 1

Are you f'n kidding me? Your question should be, "how can I get my pregnant daughter out of this relationship".

Answer 2

My mother is Bi-polar.
I grew up in her house, left when I was 15 - it's a miracle I turned out fine (stable, good job, etc) my three siblings, all younger than me, weren't so lucky....
I've done a lot of research. I'd recommend a book called "An Unquiet Mind" by Dr Kay Jamison.

From previous answers, there is disagreement on Violence. My two cents:
Bi-Polar is a series of emotional inabilites to handle stress in life, and certain behaviors are "explained" by this lable. However, there is not sufficient scientific data to determine if there is a chemical cause. It IS known that medication COMBINED with psychotherapy can alleviate some problems

MEANING: It's TREATABLE - whether or not the Bi-Polar is a factor (note: NOT Excuse) then he is not being treated. And your daughter is trying to make excuses for his behavior, which he doesn't want to change.

I would recommend you contact a local Domestic Violence Advocate, and get advice from them. At this point, your concern should be for her and not for any excuse he may be using. It is a fact that violent men become worse during pregnancy and after a child is born. You should be very concerned for the childs safety, but get professional advice before talking further with your daughter.

If you approach your daughter about his behavior, she may stop talking to you. You need a talking point, and to let her know that you are willing to do what it would take to get her to safety. And know that at this point, you are no longer safety because he knows you, too.

I left my husband the first time he laid a hand on me... I didn't realize I was already pregnant with our second at the time, our first was six months old.

Good luck.

Answer 3

do no longer decide him precise away, yet do no longer leap into the relationship the two. I even have bipolar myself, and that i've got many times been the source of the compassion and being concerned in my relationships. no longer all bipolar's are alike and a good number of of those i comprehend are very in song with themselves and their surrounding. If he's on medicine, he's getting help, it relatively is often a stable sign. it relatively is all based on the guy's character, and their stability (which relies upon on no be counted if or no longer they're getting help, and he's.) A relationship with him could be slightly harder than others, yet it relatively isn't any reason to easily run away at recent, particularly once you're already attracted to his character. and don't pay any interest to this remark in any respect: "bi-polar affliction in actuality skill they have 2 opposing personalities. it additionally skill that one character won't remember what the different one has accomplished. so he ought to declare something sometime and turn personalities unconciously and not remember ever asserting it. medicine for bi-polar affliction is seldomly very effectual." Bipolar has no longer something to do with personalities, it is composed of moods. medicine may well be triumphant if he gets on the suited one. he won't without notice forget issues by fact his temper differences etc. That finished remark replaced into finished and utter rubbish. i'm assuming the guy is speaking approximately dissassociative id affliction, it relatively is an entire different subject be counted.

Answer 4

Um...perhaps.

Bi-polar, or Manic-Depressive Disorder, is characterized by two stages, the manic and the depressive. During the depressive stage the person often lacks energy, has sad/suicidal thoughts, a persistantly down or sad mood, decreases/increases in appetite, and difficulty maintaining relationships. During the manic stage the person often has an overabundance of energy, thoughts of granduer, random bouts of productivity, increases in appetite, the ability to go without sleep for days, etc etc.

The manic stage can come with increased irritablity too. Since your daughter is probably around him often, she more likely comes into contact with him during the manic stages. However, it is very unusual for the irritablity to extend to the level of violence- usually the person goes storming off.

Although the bipolar disorder probably makes him more likely to cause violence, I don't think it's the cause. It's very likely that part of him is able to hurt women, but that part is only expressed during the manic stage.

Either way, it could progress to the level where he may hurt her badly enough to risk the baby. If she won't leave him, maybe suggest she moved in with you until at least he calms down or the baby is delivered? Because everytime she's hit and the adrenaline is pumped into her body, the greater the chance she'll miscarry.

Answer 5

from what I can tell bi-polar can include physical violence toward just about anyone; not just women.

Patty Duke, in both her book and her movie, describes how she got just plain ugly with her family.

I pointed out a scene from the movie (1990) "call me anna" that my love at the time Pam said "oh, that is SO over acted"

.. nope .. It reminded me of the halcyon (ha) days of my childhood home -- my mom had screaming sessions just like in the movie ps. we never quite knew what my mom had as an illness but it was bi-polar like - some good days many terrible ones.

Patty Duke eventually got help, mellowed out, but still lost her marriage. -- there was too much ug which could not really be forgiven.

I want to add that...

This being said, Patty's family abandoned her because she was dangerous before she got adequate treatment (this from memory) and my brother had to go away to school because my mom was dangerous and had no treatment.

You and yours may have to do the same.
Shame that a baby is involved.

Answer 6

No it is not. Many times abuse starts when the partner is pregnant. Call the police and report this guy. She does not have to press charges. Abuse is abuse there is no excuse. Men do not hit women and women do not hit men PERIOD. If you are afraid to call the police then be prepared for the worse. She may die. Right now she has some serious self esteem issues. Get her in counseling. His bipolar is not the reason he is a scumbag. He is using you daughter as a punching bag. Talk to her and then talk some more. Call the police and report him the next time.

Answer 7

Sometimes people with bipolar disorder, particularly in severe manic states, can have extreme irritability and can become aggressive and violent. Is he taking medication? If not he must see a doctor immediately. If he is taking medication then it may not be working. He needs to talk to his doctor about maybe trying a different med, increasing the dosage, adding another med, etc. It may be possible that he may have another psychiatric illness, such as a personality disorder, in addition to bipolar disorder. He may need treatment for that.

Answer 8

Physical violence is physical violence - no need to worry about whether there's a mental illness attached to it or not. It's a matter of common decency and treating others as human beings - not animals.

In society out in public - you don't put up with someone terrorising others, you get them arrested and put away. That's the simplicity of the situation and that's where it basically stands no need either for pussy footing about the bush.

Don't put up with terrorists.

Answer 9

No, Bi-polar and physical violence toward women do not necessarily go hand in hand. This guy needs to be reported to the authorities.... he'll get worse and worse. Do anything you can to get your daughter away from this guy. I know from personal experience the horrible things that you as a parent are going through. God bless you. Remember one thing and that is that this is your daughter's doing not yours.

Answer 10

Bipolar disorder means that you have mood swings, depression and mania. With depression you are very down and with mania you are very high. Now with mania, you can be angry or happy, but that is still no excuse to be hitting somone. I am bipolar and have never been abusive to anyone. He can not blame his bipolar for his actions. He needs to get help (medication and therapy) and she needs to get out. Period. I wish your daughter well.

Answer 11

absolutly. some bi polar disorders are wrost than others,but a persons emotions are all over the place. her boy friend must be put on medication to control it, exspecially if hes becoming violent. some times lithium is perscribed. try this site for more info
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bipolar.cfm#bp6