why do many wives tend to leave their marriages after 20+ yrs saying that " they want to be free"?

Question

I was a loving and caring husband, never cheated (she did) and never talked bad or down to her,. Yet, she wanted to be free...I can't find an answer.

Answer 1

perhaps its because they didnt mature, and become real full women, before they married,,,,, often when women marry young,,,, before 30 or so,,,,,,,,they have not yet discovered theirselves,,,,,, and they feel they have missed something, men do this also sometimes "the mid-life crisis",,,, many dont see that they can develop and grow,,, and still maintain their relationships,,,,,,
my cousin and his wife, married young, and just divorced due to his "wanting to experience more, to be free" after 40 plus years!! now that totally makes no sense to me at all, didnt he know after 20 years?
and too, still today,, the home and children,,,, supporting the family in non monetary ways,, is often the job of the woman,,,,,, some just get tired,,,,,,of thinking of everyone else first always,,,,, and want to think/take care,,,,,, of only theirselfs ,,,,,,,,,
but the cheating, that is a character thing,,, no matter how young or old,,,, a person with good character doesnt do that, there are no excuses,,,,,,,, the morally right thing to do is to end a relationship first, before you try out someone else

Answer 2

I dunno, Joel.
The kids grew up?
She needs to find herself?
She got tired of nagging you to put the seat down?
Women have been known to walk out on long standing marriages for all of these seemingly silly reasons.
I hear you saying that you were a loving and caring husband in the very same sentence that also tells us that she cheated on her marriage. Why do you reveal this intimate detail? Obviously, you forgave her, because you stayed in the marriage...or did you? Did you throw her mistake up at her at every opportunity? A wound that is not allowed to heal becomes infected...and so does a wounded heart.
Maybe she really did need to be "free".......

Answer 3

I have been married 21 years and I think that you need to work on your communication before you work on your sex life because without communication and trust you don;t have a marriage 20 years is a very long time to spend with someone how could you even consider ending it because of the lack of spontaneity if that is really why you want to end it with a woman you promised to love or is there something deeper than that? it sounds to me like there is more to this

Answer 4

"The wisest man knows that he knows nothing at all" Don't beat yourself up about it... You can't control your destiny, but keep your head up, and just get excited for the future. Think about it, YOU are the free one, and the fact that you've had 20 years of practice means you're gonna know all the tricks and stuff because it's like second nature to you... You can live a better life now, so look at all the options you have. Do something cool as hell now, now that that biotch left you... "Bye Bye My Baby, Bye Bye!"

Answer 5

Christian Marriage tends to be a trap for most wives.Many of the christians hold the bibles idea's of mans domination over women.But i don't think this is your problem.You just picked the wrong girl.One that had cheated on you,and left you to pursue her own happiness(so she thinks).She did not consider your love,and karma will catch up with her.

Answer 6

Consider it to be her version of a mid-life crisis. Usually after 20 years, there's menopause and empty nest syndrome, and deaths of friends and family bringing her mortality home. I've been treated to the opposite--my husband cheated and left because he wanted better.

Answer 7

I left my marriage after only four years, because I felt like I was being suffrocated. He wasn't a bad person, I just couldn't handle his neediness and clingyness.

I'm not saying that's what your wife did, but I couldn't stand it. I'm sorry, you must be very confused. I pray God help you get over this....20 years is a long time.

Answer 8

After we raise our kids, our hubbies retire and drive us totally whacko. Either they want to be waited on hand and foot, or they follow you around like annoying puppydogs. I work for attorneys and it happens a lot. I intend to make my hubby go on lots of fishing trips or something when he retires, cause he's annoying enough on the weekends. I don't know if that's what happened to you or not, but I hear it a lot. Believe it or not, women do eventually get tired of constantly taking care of other people. After the kids are gone we'd like a break too.

Answer 9

Ummmm well... it was reverse for me. Though neither of us cheated.

Sometimes people just grow apart. They fall out of love. It could be that she felt she wasted her life up to that point. She is really the only person who can answer that question.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry to hear about this..I don't know why but men do it also..Maybe they just think the grass is greener....But if most were honest,they would probably tell you they had made a mistake....We don't miss what we have until its gone...I've been married 30 years and I don't know what I would do without my husband..