If your mother showed up at your baby shower in front of family and friends drunk, after you asked her to not come if she was going to be drinking? I'm really sick of it. At all functions she is drunk and beligerent and when I talk to her about it she just brushes it off like she is right and Im wrong for saying something about it. What would you do?
2007-05-05 14:00:03 · 14 answers · asked by hunney_21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Very sad....I am sorry for you. I know that must have been horrible for you, on this special day for YOU and YOUR BABY!!
I would, honestly, just not tell her about things like this. Don't let her know about it in the future. If she doesn't know....she can't pop in out of nowhere to ruin it. Tell her that since you are having a child....you will require her to be a sober grandmother to that child. That anything less than that is not okay and will result in less involvement with her grandchild. Don't say it like a threat or like you are using the child against her....just tell her that you don't want to raise your child around this type of behavior.
Have you considered doing an intervention with your other family?? This might really help. There are some great resources for doing an intervention....contact your local Dept. of Mental Health offices and they can point you in the right direction. Alcoholism is a sickness.....but if people don't take steps towards helping themselves they cannot expect others to just tolerate their bahaviors!
I am very sorry about what happened at your shower...
2007-05-06 08:22:32 · answer #1 · answered by diapercakesbybecca 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is reaching out to you for help. Yes, I know you had tried talking to her. It's now time for you to take more aggressive actions to help your mom. First, arm yourself with a video camera, and then next time she is intoxicated video tape her. When she is sober request for her to take some counseling. You go with her, but don't tell her about the video. When you are both talking to the counseling introduce the tape and show it then!
This way she have to explain her actions and she can't denied she have a problem. I think you do want to have a good relationship with your mom. I know you would of invited her to the baby shower, but you try to avoid it, but happen anyway. Therefore, since she going to be a grandmother, you must point out to her the importance of her behavior and less likely she would ever have the chance to hold her grandchild.
I really pray that you and your family would get her some help. She is going to be a grandparent soon.
God Bless
2007-05-05 21:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't invite her to anything at all. Sorry but if you don't stop her now she will keep doing it and you will soon be having a child to consider.
No, NO, NO, NO NO.. Tell her No more mom this was the last time for me to see you like that at least with the things that I have. Also don't go to events that you don't want to see her drunk at. She will start to destroy the family and it will be all of her drinking doing that
2007-05-07 02:44:27 · answer #3 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until she's sober and then make the time to have a conversation with her. She obviously has alcohol issues and you need to tell her how you feel. Tell her you will not spend time with her while she is under the influence--and enforce your decision. Even if you have to involve the law--make it known that you will not tolerate her being intoxicated in your presence. And for God sakes--if she's drunk and disorderly, do not allow her around your baby!
2007-05-05 21:11:52 · answer #4 · answered by hotmel_007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People with drinking problems are hard to deal with aren't they. Like you said, she thinks she is right and you are wrong. It's a sad thing to even think of, but when she is sober, you need to ask her why she wants to drink so much. Instead of telling her not to do it anymore, ask her why she wants to hurt you. If she says "Hurt you?" Tell her "Yes, it hurts me to see you hurting yourself like you do." Tell her "I love you mom, and when I see you that way, I get really worried about your health." Instead of tell her she is in the wrong, try telling her that you love her and you care about her. The bad thing is that you are fighting with a bottle, and it will definitely take time. Try not to get upset though. That will just make things worse. Hope everything works out.
2007-05-05 21:24:09 · answer #5 · answered by Joe S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her where you are going (don't stay at home with get togethers) for now.
If she doesn't get the point, as a last resort, tell her you won't allow her to hold your baby unless she takes you seriously.
But if she does, don't punish her, that would be really cruel.
And she could hurt herself.
2007-05-05 21:08:57 · answer #6 · answered by goodbloke45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to decide if you want her in your life in a significant way or not. These are your only two choices. The specific incident is done and over with, you have another choice to make about the future.
2007-05-05 21:11:09 · answer #7 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would go talk to a cop and see what they could do like put her in there for about 24 hours and tell her that she will live there and she will NEVER see the kid every again and see what happens ok
2007-05-05 21:12:46 · answer #8 · answered by sammy_14_jjm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't of invited her and if she crashed the shower, I'd of hauled her out of there myself.
2007-05-05 21:31:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would get a hold of a pastor or AAA and ask them to reach out and help her and see if that helps .
2007-05-05 21:16:43 · answer #10 · answered by Emily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋