How do you discipline a child really bad child!!!!?

Question

I'm always baby sitting this girl and she is really bad. She is my cousin and I am required to watch her for free, but she cries when no one picks her up( she is 4) and when she sees something on tv she wants but cant have. What are your suggestions?

she also curses like a sailor..dont ask me where she got this from. and she seems to know the male and female anatomy more than I do

Answer 1

Curses like a sailor...wow. You should probably talk to her parents about her behavior and say you can no longer watch her if she continues to act like that. If there is no way out, you can reward her for good behavior and ignore her when she is acting bad.

Answer 2

There's no such thing as "really bad", unless the child in question is violent, cruel, or hurtful. Seeing as she's only 4, I doubt very much any of those apply. Most often, what is going on is the kid needs reassurance and support. Demanding a toy, and demanding to be picked up, are ways a child of 4 says she needs some REAL one-on-one time with somebody. So the best method, especially when babysitting, is to turn OFF the tv. Make sure it says off!! Then get a board game, have a tea party, or play fort, something like that. Get down on the floor and have tickle fights. And the best one of all, I learned from my stepmom- look her in the eyes when you talk to her. Kids are often not treated like whole people because they're small. But they need respect, too. Four year olds like to play 'secrets', that was my neice's favorite, we would take turns coming up with something silly and say I have a secret, then whisper it in the others' ear. Chances are, she's doing everything she can to get some attention. Kids will take bad attention over none, and if you're "always babysitting" then it's up to you to make the situation better. Think like a four year old and see what kinds of games you can come up with to share. Playing with a little kid for a couple of hours is better than listening to one whine!

Answer 3

Sounds like the childs parents need some training as do you. This child sounds like she has been allowed to act like that when her parents are home.
Have you talked to your parents about this? Or to her parents?
I recently attended a parenting class and learned that spanking is uneffective (for the most part) and illegal (in some states). Time out works for my 3 yr old niece who by the way acts the exact same way.
I put her in a time out chair ( one that is not used for anything that the child enjoys.... no kitchen chairs, no desk chairs, no play chairs..... make it a hard back chair that will not be associated with anything fun.
Place her gently in the chair and everytime she gets up and refuses to behave then have her return to the chair. Now while she is in the chair ... you ignore her screaming and cussing. When she is quiet for at least 5 min then you let her up.... returning to the chair if she persists the bad behavior.
Another thing that might work is to make a chart of the things that are unacceptable and put a mark next to the behavior EVERYTIME she exhibits it. At the end of the babysitting term you reward her for the good behavior exhibited and show her parents the bad report and let them decide on a punishment.
If the bad behavior persists then you just may have to have your parents back you up and tell the cousins parents to call someone else... who they will have to pay... to babysit.
Tell her to call me... I will send home a changed child after 5 days. hahaha just kidding
Good Luck

Answer 4

She sounds like she's looking for attention and I'm guessing she gets it for negative behavior. The people who have told you to ignore her behavior are right on track, but I would suggest taking it a step further. You need to "catch" her being good, even if she's only "good" for a second. For example, as soon as she stops crying and talks nicely say "Good job talking nicely." Or if she watches TV without fussing tell her she's a great TV watcher. If she plays nicely with a pet or a toy, tell her that you love how nicely she plays with it. I know it sounds silly but try it for a week or so. I'm guessing she'll change (or at least reduce) some of her behaviors, especially if you ignore the other behaviors (unless they are dangerous... in which case respond enough to stop the harm, but not enough to interact a great deal.)

Another thought, do you resent babysitting her? If so, she's picking up on it. I used to have to watch my little sister all the time and I resented it. It wasn't until she was an adult that she told me that she felt that resentment. I felt horrible, but can only imagine how she must have felt. So try to smile when you see her, even if it's forced at first. It will feel more natural as time goes on. And maybe she won't behave as negatively if she feels like she's wanted.

One last thing... the suggestions that you spank her or put chili sauce on her tongue are not the best advice. This isn't your child. You could end up facing charges of abuse and could do jail time. Never do anything to any child (someone else's or yours) that could harm them.

Good luck.

Answer 5

First off just because she is your cousin does not require you to watch her for free.At 4 yrs old she does not need to be picked up. She needs discipline since she wants what she sees no TV. She needs to be in a preschool environment. This way she is around other children her age. Since money seems to be a big issue find a free school. Time out will work sometimes,you should not spank her as this is her parents job to discipline her.Ask them how to do this. Good Luck

Answer 6

Put a dab of chili in her mouth and tell her to stop yelling and cursing. Then u can giver her milk so it will not burn but just a dab on ur finger then on her tong. As for the attitude take away every thing that is of any fun even TV an sit staring at her. Explain after she stops being bad and acting what ever ways is wrong she can have every thing back. U can lock all toys in ur room and stand in front of the TV so she will not turn it on.

Answer 7

Just say to her that she need to calm down. If things get really bad give her a choice.. like "calm down or go to bed right now." Keep her busy and occupied so that her mind isn't focoused on being picked up. Also do something other than watching tv. And if she curses then give her a time out. Tell her if you hear another dirty word then she doesn't get to do anymore fun stuff.

Answer 8

A four year old does not have moral capacity to do bad; they see what they want and want it. I fear this association is bad but I compare it to training a dog; condition them not to do things by not giving in. It takes patience. When they want to be picked up and dont, they see crying as the only way to get what they want. If you dont reply to that, then hopeufully theyll stop crying. It becomes a different story when they gain the capacity to think logically.

However, I must also say, that babies need physical contact. That is how they gain trust in people.

Answer 9

hate to insult ur aunt and uncle but they are doing a crappy job raising her, it sounds like. she is obviously starved for attention, she obviously doesnt get enougfh positive attention, and thats why she acts out and misbehaves. it sounds like shes a spoiled little brat, and if the responsible ppl around her (u, her parents) dont put a stop to it QUICK as she grows, so will her reign of terror, u know what i mean? i suggest u have her parents read what im writing u, and they should take some parenting classes. a lot of elementary schools offer parenting classes once a week at night free of charge. at parenting class, her parents will learn new ways to cope with her nasty behavior, and more intelligent choices for disciplining her. in the mean time, u can do your part, by sitting her in the corner for 10 minutes (or more depending on how naughty she is) at a time, until she apologizes or makes her bad behavior right (i.e. if she throws something and makes a mess, she cleans it up). you also need to use positive reinforcement with her! make a "play box" filled with old toys (or new ones), and when shes being good, bring out the play box, and let her pick out something to play with. kids love this idea, because its exciting to see and play with things they dont normally get to! but in order to keep it exciting, u need to bring out the play box ONLY when shes good. if u babysit her at ur house, keep the play box in the trunk of ur car, and IF shes good, take her outside to get it. anyways, good luck with her, and make sure u get her and her parents some outside help somehow, their family will be much better and much healthier for it.

Answer 10

First, you have to realize that she is not bad. Four year olds make really bad decisions. They have only had four years of live to figure things out. Redirection is the best way to help a child of that age. Don't try to help her while she is throwing a fit. Ignore her while she is throwing her fit. Maybe your aunt or mom can send you through some babysitting classes to help you understand more of what the little girl needs.