Imagine that you have a daughter & she's been brutally raped. Should she then be forced to marry her attacker?

Question

Last Ent, ah, I see... and that makes you comfortable with the concept?

Last Ent, ah, it's the lesser of two evils. THAT makes it OK. Super.

Answer 1

I've always hated that law, and I admit it's hard for me to wrap my mind around the concept. But I don't know that brutality was involved. Sometimes men rape (especially date rape) just because they can, not as an act of torture or violence. That doesn't make it right.

We've heard for years that rape is not about sex but about violence. I still believe in many cases that's true (and definitely in cases where beatings/cuttings/torture are involved). But current research shows that many times men rape because they want sex and feel entitled to it. They do it because they can.

And they get away with it.

Really, what is our sentence? Sometimes they get a jail term, but it's usually suspended after a year or less. Child molestation will get a man voluntary therapy and probation these days.

So, men in our society get off scott free.

Imagine what would happen if those men were told they would have to marry a woman they raped and they weren't allowed to ever divorce her. They were financially, socially, morally and spiritually accountable for her till death do them part.

You're focusing on what she has to do. And I get that. If I were her, I would hate that.

Focus for a moment on what his fate would be, married to a woman he abused. He would literally have to live with the consequences the rest of his life. He'd have to "pay" the rest of his life.

It's a tougher sentence than we give.

There are therapies now in place in prisions that allow the victim to face the attacker and get closure. The attacker has to listen to whatever the victim has to say. I guess you can't ever make the attacker answer the victim's questions, but the idea is that the perpetrator has to be accountable to the victim (or the victim's family). Same if he has to marry her.

In those days, men could divorce women pretty easily. Burn the toast, he tosses you out and gets a new bride. Honey, she could burn his toast, pluck out his eyelashes one at a time in his sleep, set fire to his crops, and nag him from sunrise to sunset but he couldn't divorce her.

It's either make restitution and peace with her, or live with her anger and hurt the rest of his life. There are plenty of ways to make a man suffer, if that's what she wanted to do. And he'd have no way out of it.

If you read the accounts of the rapes of Tamar and Dinah, both men fancied themselves "in love" with the women they raped. My guess is that this would be a pretty effective punishment for them, and brutal attacks that included rape would be handled by death penalty for the attacker.

The other aspect of this is that in their culture, if she wasn't a virgin she couldn't marry well. She would have ended up a servant, unmarried, or marrying someone with questionable motives who then could divorce her when he tired of her. This automatically gave her some station in life and the opportunity (if things were handled properly) to redeem a good life for herself by their standards.

Still not one of my favorite OT laws, but I can see that for that time and that culture, this is in her favor - a punishment for him and not for her.

Answer 2

Back then marriage was also about property and dowries. Even during Christ's time, girls without dowries had no hope of ever marrying. There was an entirely different mind set about sex than there is today. There was also a story in the bible where a gentile seduces a girl, and intends for all purposes to marry her, but her brothers kill him and actually burn the entire town down. So...there's lots of stories out there to sink your teeth into. making such a thing into law is weird, but not uncommon. Some native cultures also have such a "healing ceremony" where the victim and the perpetrator are stripped and tied together. The family is present, and considering the association of relatives, probably the entire village? Can you imagine in a case of incest what would occur at such a proceeding. Can you imagine modern law doing such a thing?

But back to your question, in those days, if you married someone under duress, you could always divorce them, (that was allowed). I think the idea behind that law was to get the process of forgiveness going, and for the community to heal. Rape will always happen. The way cultures deal with it is interesting and never the same. I am not their judge, and neither should you or anyone else be. The stories in the bible are meant to be thought upon, and to draw parallels with our spiritual life. They may take a real situation and show how it was dealt with, and considering all the ramifications of their time and culture.

As for the act of rape itself, especially a brutal rape, it is an act of violence, and as such, unseemly before the eyes of God.

Answer 3

Your translation does not evaluate the Bible. The familiar Hebrew text fabric does not say "raping" or "rape." Rape is a capital crime interior the Bible. The Hebrew word ability "to administration." So the lady right here does not have been raped pondering the actual undeniable fact that her attacker would desire to be lifeless if that were the final interpretation. She replaced into seduced, in maximum circumstances via a greater matured guy. So the two share guilt, whether his guilt is larger. you may experience that the three circumstances in Deuteronomy 22 persist with each and every distinctive precisely with easy distinction, whether the replace of terminology on verse 28 makes that a plenty outstanding situation. additionally understand that the marriage would desire to now no longer be allowed throughout the lady's father if he thinks that this style of marriage heavily isn't interior the lady's first-cost pastime. the guy who seduced her might have not have been given any say interior the placement whether. The previous testomony maintains to be interior the Bible on condition that Jesus commanded his followers to obey all 613 Commandments stated therein (Matthew 5:17-19)

Answer 4

Well since you are putting this question in religion and spirituality I am guessing you are talking about the admonition in the Bible about after a rape occurs (during plundering after a war) the Man-rapist needs to marry the victim. Well it's awful but at that point in time a rape "ruined" a woman and made her unmarriable and thus would be a constant drain on her family. The only way restitution could be achieved would be for the rapist to honorably marry her! It was the only way she could get her "honor" back. It's a bad solution but imagine if you were threatened that you would have to marry somebody who hated you! I think God was hoping it would put a damper on the whole plunder, pillage, rape thing! I think Bathsheba was a rape bride? Dinah was but her brothers killed her new husband after he married her making her an honorable widow rather than a rape victim!

Answer 5

This is a reference to the Old Testament, right? You folks sure have a hard time understand the customs of the day. This does not happen today because the world is a different place then when Moses walked the earth. You know this, don't you? Back in ancient times it was a fate worse then death for a woman to be a rape victim. The perpetrator, was forced to care for her the rest of his life, and if he died then his brother would then have to care for her. Just look at the Middle Eastern countries still today women are treating as property. This is not how God intends women to be treated. Jesus is a good example of God love toward women and children.

Answer 6

Thank God nobody rapes mailboxes.

But, and I say this in LOVE, if you're going to use a Biblical passage, you have to keep in mind that some people actually DO read the Bible, and know what it says, so that when you take phrases and twist them and use them out of context, you get shown for what you are by your vicious attacks on those trying to explain what the passage ACTUALLY SAYS.

<3

Answer 7

of course not. if she was brutally raped by some man who obviously is not a good person, why force someone who has already gone thru such a diffucult experience risk being married to a possibly abusive man...she should have the child but mayb marry someone else who would treat her right and who would accept her and love her

Answer 8

What? Forced to MARRY her attacker?

Are you insane?
Later: OK, after I read all the answers, I realized this was a religion-baiting question.
Assuming you are speaking of OT laws, yes if you lived in those times, the only way the rapist/attacker could make it "right" in the eyes of the people of those times was to marry (i.e. take care of for life) the woman he "defiled."
Fortunately, we do not live in Old Testament times anymore.
Oh? You didn't realize that?
Well, no wonder you're confused!
Yes, a man named Jesus of Nazareth came to live among us around 2,000 years ago, and since that time, things have been a lot different here on planet earth!
Welcome....and enjoy!

Answer 9

Keep reading friend, the father gets to decide if the man is going to marry his daughter or be killed. It's a good deterrent to rape when the father gets to decide, huh?

EDIT - you can't understand the OT unless you read it through the eyes of the NT. It's all about Christ, my friend. Blessings and peace to you.

For a historical setting, you might want to check out the laws regarding rape for other cultures in that same time period and area. Most cultures demanded that BOTH the man and woman be killed, the man because he took what was not his, and the woman because she was no longer valuable. The Hebrew law was exceedingly merciful compared to these and actually gave the woman a chance at life and she was not blamed for the man's crime against her.

So, in light of all that, yes, I would say that I am very comfortable with the concept, especially in regard to the other ancient laws at the time. Having been a victim of rape myself, I know that I am more than the sum of my parts, to put it gently, and that experience does NOT define who and what I am. Rape certainly isn't the worst thing in the world I can imagine, how about you? I also know that God uses all things for good for those who love Him, so this gives both people an opportunity to forgive and grow and learn and love.

EDIT EDIT - so most folks here are saying they would gleefully kill the rapist. How sad. Truly. Killing someone in their sins ensures that they NEVER have a chance to repent, to apologize, and to attempt to make up for their crimes.
David raped Bathsheba, as someone mentioned earlier, and they grew to have a loving and beautiful marriage together. It was her son, Solomon, that David chose as his successor. I am so glad that some of these folks weren't Bathsheba's parents!!

Answer 10

Not necessarily.

But if she conceives as a result of rape, then she should be forced to bear the baby, and to raise it without any support from the father or indeed, from anyone. Never mind any dreams she may have had of a college education, or a useful and satisfying career, or a happy marriage to a good man who loves her -- none of these is as important as a baby that she never wanted in the first place.

That's what the good Christians think.