First off I am 20 and she is 32. When we have sex i have to fake everything and then i usually feel like puking afterwards cause she has her muffin top touching me and covering half of me up and she smells really bad because she has to take washcloth showers cause she cant fit in hers. She has these really weird fetishes of covering me up with butter and licking me all over, i personally cant stand butter...she also loves biting and sometimes i think she is really trying to eat me cause she breaks the skin, she usually denies it but when were done she wants to go get ice cream. How do i get rid of my unattractive girlfriend without having her stalk me and ruining my life?
2007-05-04 23:45:32 · 12 answers · asked by Scotty_J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dude?!?! You don't want that sh!t? Hell, pass her my way. I always love a bigger girl. Especially one that is a FREAK in the sack. I will eat that muffin top up. Hopefuly she likes skinny guys. And things will be a lot easier for her. She won't have to learn a new name either. That way she doesn't get confused. I bet she is easily confused.
Please Scotty, send her my way. I will take good care of her.
2007-05-04 23:53:28 · answer #1 · answered by Scottie"T" 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard one of those radio shows that they run on Valentines Day about the worst break-up or bf/gf fight stories? Here is the most memorable one that I heard:
A couple are on the rocks and the bf invites the gf out to dinner to talk it out. They spend an extended period of time at the restaurant, going through every course (appetizers, salad, etc...) slowly, and discussing where their relationship is headed. Both are getting round after round delivered from the bar. Hers made a little heavy handed, his club soda with iced tea for color. As the restaurant is closing, he guides her out to the car where she instantly blacks out in the passenger's seat.
The next day, she wakes up 450 miles away from home in Dayton, Ohio, with nothing but the clothes on her back, $20 and a used bus ticket stub.
True, this may provoke the stalking that you worried about earlier. Or it could turn out to be the subtle hint that she needs to move on with her life and get out of yours.
Good luck, little fella.
2007-05-05 08:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by Scotty F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first of all i feel sorry for your GF because you have mislead her into making you think you love her...
i dont say that to be cruel and harsh but why did u get with her in the first place?? surely she didnt get fat overnight?? and as for the smell of her get her some antibacterial soap and strong deodarent... size shouldnt matter, but if its freaking you out sooooo much... give her a horse tranquiliser and skip town in the middle of the night....change your name and also your hair/ clothing style... if she finds you call the animal control board and say a wild hippo is on the loose... or better still hit her with a tranquiliser dart or 2 or 400 .....lol
2007-05-05 07:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading your story; if I was in your situation I just kick in her ***! and dump her!
Solution for you:
1. Before going to have sex with her spray some bad oder perfume or something like that.
2. Call her as yours friend with change of voice and tell him that you are gay.
3. Tell her that I am HIV+.
Good Luck!
2007-05-05 06:55:56 · answer #4 · answered by Krrish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i could start by saying that i feel your pain with this lard of a girl, but to get rid of her is simple just feed her to pigs. i hear a single pig can consume 2 pounds of uncooked flesh every min. so if she is say 300lbs you will about 20 pigs to finish the job in one setting. if you need some pigs i know this guy who has them. but if you dont want to get rid of her that way just call her a lard a$$ and keep telling her she is ugly and she will leave. but let me know if you need those pigs.
Dick J
2007-05-05 06:53:41 · answer #5 · answered by Dick Jones 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
D-U-D-E, DUDE, DUDE, DUDE..... first, shes older... how cool! Second, shes bigger... how sexy. Third, her muffin is stanky... Mmmmmm. If it is chocolate chip, eat that! I love Choco Chips yo! Anyway, she sounds right up my ally, and I'd like to be right up hers. Best way to ditch her would be to show her a pic of me, attainable from my email. Good luck.... gotta go and get myself off thinking about this woman you completely are going to loose out on.
2007-05-06 22:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by Josh L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would have to say just tell her the truth and how you really feel making up lies can make things so much harder on yourself and if she does not understand then you will have to move far away from her well hope everything works out for you
2007-05-05 06:50:35 · answer #7 · answered by al 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all she seems to deserve better! second of all why did you get with her in the first place!
2007-05-05 06:49:55 · answer #8 · answered by Wookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Water seeks its own level.
2007-05-05 06:48:39 · answer #9 · answered by Mr Big 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell her good bye...if you can't stand so many things at her why are you into this?it's really uselles to tell all these things here...
2007-05-05 07:05:09 · answer #10 · answered by teen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋