2007-05-04 19:27:58 · 14 answers · asked by neata1218 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Every gesture is greatly appreciated by a grieving family.
Your presence will be a great comfort. It helps people to see their friends and neighbors and acquaintances and to know that people care for them and cared for the deceased. Grief is better shared.
You don't need to bring a card to the wake, although you can if you want to.
Typical gifts include floral tributes, memorial gifts to charities, and food. Cash is often greatly appreciated as funeral expenses can be quite steep (including time lost from work for the bereaved, lost income from the deceased, etc.).
Food is also a great gift, but don't bring it to the wake if possible, instead bring it by the home where the family of the deceased is gathering. They will not feel much like cooking for several days, but there's going to be a lot of people (family and friends) dropping by and needing food. Fresh fruit, vegetables, cheeses, and crackers are all great simple gifts. If you're more ambitious, a hotdish or salad or lasagna or roast would be very helpfull because these things often get overlooked.
Grieving isn't "over" right after the funeral either. Please remember to call a week or a month later and see how the bereaved are feeling. Let them talk.
This is a lot of advice, I know... but remember, the fact that you cared enough to come will mean a tremendous amount, even without any gifts. Your time a gift, so if you can't give anything else, you've given a great gift already.
2007-05-04 22:16:23 · answer #1 · answered by Tomteboda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The proper thing to give at a wake is your condolences. Nothing else. it's not a wedding.
send flowers ahead of time. Send a card through the mail.
2007-05-05 17:15:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is proper to give your sincere condolences to the grieving party. Monies should be given to the party responsible for the offerings. First, you must sign in the guest book, get the itinerary card for the services, view the body, offer your condolences, and sit in the pew for the services to begin.
For the funeral the next day, do the same thing. You are more then welcome to give a eulogy, but you are to notify the clergy and family if it is okay to do so. When the services are over, please go to grave site with the funeral party, listen to the services, and follow the caravan after the services are over to luncheon or at the relative's house.
2007-05-04 19:33:47 · answer #3 · answered by Agent319.007 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best thing to give would be your respect and heartfelt condolences to the family. Many people bring wreaths or flowers to funerals. Another option is to find out if the deceased supported any causes, you could offer a donation in lieu of a floral tribute.
I guess you have to ask yourself, what would the deceased want?
Regards.
2007-05-04 19:31:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people bring food. A card would be nice and as always a shoulder for support during the tough time.
2007-05-04 19:31:59 · answer #5 · answered by Becks6 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it depends on the cultural norms of the deceased and family.
in some food and or small donations of money is appropiate.
instead of food I now usually take a variety of beverages i.e pop, juice, bottled water, etc as most others bring food.
2007-05-04 20:29:08 · answer #6 · answered by creole lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Food. I usually take a covered dish of macaroni and cheese or scalloped potatoes because everybody else brings desserts.
2007-05-04 19:31:34 · answer #7 · answered by Alice K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Food.
2007-05-04 20:01:13 · answer #8 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends of the cultural background of the deceased!!
2007-05-04 19:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should give foods,because that is the most common needs on that event,and flowers and of course your sincere condolence.
2007-05-04 19:42:29 · answer #10 · answered by aisa a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋