Will god make this realtionship work?

Question

I'm having second thoughts about this man in my life.We have a long distance relationship he's 25 man . he still lives at home with his parents, works at a fitness gym as a personal trainer(for two years) but never has any money, but he's taken on a job as a drummer for a restaruant to earn extra money, and I notice that he hangs out on myspace all the time(which I don't understand)he's been at a junior college for four years and yet still isn't half way finished to getting his A.A. Degree in music. And I know it's totally up too me and I know that, but I have a Master's degree,and and have goals such as owning my own business,but he talks alot about helping with his parents church, or helping his father build her house,but never about what 'he" wants.And I mentioned moving out of the city to pursue another degree,and he just said oh well I'm staying right here in Compton"!so will it work, and do we balance each other

Answer 1

I think you already know the answer.

Answer 2

We have no idea what God has in store for you. Sorry. However, I will tell you that it is VERY difficult to have a long-distance relationship that is anything but that--- a long-distance relationship. One song states it like this: "Nothing we've shared means a thing without you close to me." But it really depends on what your priorities are, too. If your relationship(s) is (are) not as important to you as they are to some other people, then a long-distance relationship might be just fine for you. Some people work nights or many hours during the week when they SHOULD be spending some more time at home with the spouse and kids (if any). But in these people it seems the work is just as important as the marriage/family relationship, even though it shouldn't be.

Answer 3

Dear Drea B,

i think first you have to decide who you are giving this relationship too? If you are putting it in God's hands- then you really must seek Him and i'm not sure how much that was a factor when you first decided to get into the relationship.

i think that when God puts two people together they need to be going in the same life direction (so that they can serve God together and be like-minded in purpose).

It seems that you have frustrations that either have to be worked out before you head into marriage. Biblically speaking the man's role is to love the woman in the same way that He loves Christ. So he is to take care of her and lead her spiritually. And the woman's job is to submit to the man (not meaning that she follows everything that he says- but that she has such a healthy respect for him- that she will follow his lead spiritually and as the head of the household). It seems that you may have some difficulties with that right now.

God can change people. But people also have to be willing to follow God and allow God to make changes- and i'm not sure if this gentlemen feels that he has to make any changes in his life. If he's willing it's something you guys can pray about and work out together, but if he's not- my personal observation based on what you've shared is that you seem to be going in two different life directions.

Hope that helps. Kindly,

Nickster

Answer 4

I'm not sure what this has to do with God, but it's got everything to do with you and the guy. First off, any long distance relationship is difficult. I've been in a few, and they are difficult. You must communicate with your boyfriend often in order to even have the chance for it to work. I work fulltime, and I don't have that much money either. I use my money for things that I need -- food, clothes, bills, and so on. I don't know why myspace is a problem, but if you know he's on there, then you must be there as well or having people tell you that he's there. There's a slight bit of distrust in that statement. If you don't understand why he's there, then talk to him about it. But, don't accuse him of things that you have no proof of, simply talk to him.

I hope you understand how difficult it is to get a music degree. It is one of the hardest degrees to get. There are performances and practices and little credit for doing them. For a private practice course, someone gets maybe 1 credit for aout 10 hours of work in a week. Many music majors take longer to finish because the degree is just so hard to complete. I know beause I have one. I took me 3 years to get mine finished in my junior college -- that is WITH 3 summers of fulltime courses. If it wasn't for the summers, I would be there for 4 years of longer. My boyfriend is working on his degree -- has been for 6 years. Stop comparing his pace of working with yours. You are acting like your having a Master's degere makes you better. If you weren't, you wouldn't have mentioned it. You need to respect that music is important to him and it will take him a while to finish the degree. That IS his goal. If it weren't he wouldn't be working on it.

Making the relationship work is up to you. If you cannot deal with someone that is still working on their degree, then no, you cannot make it work. If you can deal with that and respect him as HIS pace of work and be there for him and celebrate with him when he finishes, then yes, it can work. It is up to YOU.

Answer 5

I hate to have to say this, but, he's not a"man", he's still a boy. Been there, done that. Unless you don't mind being his mamma and always having give up things for yourself in your own life to please him all the time, I wouldn't do it. Jesus said "Just as a tree is known by it's fruit, so too is a man is known by his fruit" Sweetie, look at the fruit he's already produced in the above paragraph. That will be your life. And as his wife, it will be your place to submit to him. The only way God can make a relationship work, is if the man Himself is following God.

He's already gave you his answer when you mentioned moving out of the city to pursue another degree for yourself.He knows exactly what he wants, darlin, he just ain't tellin' you! Right there, he's showing you, he won't support whatever it is that you may want. He should be happy for you! and help you do it. When a man truly loves a woman, he will lay down his life for her, to make her happy! Her happiness comes first. He just doesn't want to grow up and take responsibility that's all, That's not going to change just because he gets married.

My x was just like that, still living at home with his parents at 25, never had money, couldn't finish anything he started, or keep a steady job. Oh he had lots of ideas, they just never happened in 13yrs, I gave up going to college to be with him, that was a mistake. After our marriage didn't work out, there I was, 2 kids no college education. And guess where he's at now. Back living with his parents, still doesn't have money and his mother supports and feed him. And he's 49 yrs old!

Since then, I met a wonderful man who loves life, loves God, and loves me. His first priority, is my happiness. It wouldn't matter where we lived or how much money we had, if I said ro him tomorrow that i wanted to move & get a degree, he'd be right beside me on it and work towards helping me get there, Because he WANTS me to be happy. He's like night and day compared to my x. And he's been on his own since he was 18, so he kNOWS how to take responsibility, and he ALWAYs has money.

The Bible teaches that "a man is to love his wife as part of his own body. No one lovingly takes care of his own body, and hates himself." If he can't even provide for himself, how is he going to take care and look after you? or children and a wife, too. Most people "want" to be on their own and have their own place. Then to add to that long distance in between you. My new husband picked up and moved 1100 , just to be with me. And he lived in Calif. all his life and, he left it all and moved to Colorado. I'm just trying to spare you alot of grief down the road, because I see can the signs........I wish you the best.--michelle

Answer 6

He dosen't seem to be that into you if hes not considering what you both want and need together. If it feels right go for it, but on the other hand if u feel deep down its not, then let go before you get hurt deeply. Hope this helps in some way. Blessed be.

Answer 7

God isn't going to make this relationship work.. YOU have to work with this guy to make it work..

If you realize he doesn't mean that much to you.. You'll leave at it won't hurt..

But if he isn't willing to contribute to his part of the relationship.. go find someone who will.. don't waste your time on a guy who sits at his computer on myspace all day long.

Answer 8

Prayer really helps a lot. But aside from divine guidance,you have to choose what is best for you. Maybe after fulfilling all your plans and he is still around, I think God really wantd you to be together. Good Luck!

Answer 9

25 yr old Daddy and MaMa's baby....Baby Hughey, Jethro Bodine....You have it together man...To stay with him would be like having a ball and chain on you all the time...Your too good dont lower yourself like that.. What is that Church doing for this dude? You will never make it!

Answer 10

Hon, make your own decisions, be responsible for your own life, god couldn't care less about your little selfish existence on this grain of sand in a universe the size of the state of Colorado...
Get real

Answer 11

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