how do i tell someone nicely that it is there tim to move out of my house?

Question

this certain person has been living in my house going on 3 yrs and has not paid any bills since they have been there but they thinks that they can tell me about my own house me and my husband pay all the bills in the house but they wants to sit around and do nothing all day long and on top of that they have 2 kids that are living with us and they dont want to clean up behind themselves or their kids. But they are my best friend but im getting tired of having to come home from school and work and have to cook and clean and everything else. i really dont want to put them out due to the fact the kids are my niece and nephew but im tired sick and tired.

Answer 1

Go thru the bills for the last three years, compare them to the previous three years. Print it up and show it to her.
Say something like - You and your family have been here for a long time, and if you want to stay here, then you must agree to new ground rules.
1] you must pay *** per month
2] you must cook dinner on monday,wednesday, and friday
3] you must clean bathroom, your room, kitchen, living room,
on alternate weeks
4] you must mow the lawn/weed/rake/shovel snow on alternate weeks
5] you must clean up after your own children - when I come home from work, I want the house to be picked up. If it isn't, I will
a] confiscate belongings
b] take my husb and kids and leave - get dinner, go shopping
[ if your kids still have homework, take them to the library - it's free] Do not bring back food for them.
6] you must do your own laundry
If you/he can't agree to these terms, you have 30 days, starting NOW, to move out.
* feel free to make terms harsher if you like!
do NOT feel guilty - they are grown ups and have had plenty of coddling!
P.S. you are setting a bad example for all the kids by letting them get away with this!
P.P.S.tell them after 30 days all ther belongings will be gone, one way or another - if they say,' you can't get rid of my stuff' say' where is your purchase receipt ?- this stuff has been here for three years, all my friends will testify to that, who do you think the cops will believe?'

Answer 2

I personally would start looking at what kind of homes are available in your area, just so you can be prepared when you sit down with her. Be honest but try not to make her feel attacked or phrase anything so it sounds like an accusation. She could close up on you or become violent. Maybe suggest that things are tight and you could use some help. Offer to help her look for decent-paying jobs or be involved in her finding a new place to live. Make it fun or exciting if you can. If she doesn't understand, then she's not the friend you thought she was. Give her a reasonable amount of time to be out and just focus on taking care of your own family.

Answer 3

Go get a newspaper, and give them the classified ads. Set a limit. Tell them they have 30 days to find other living arrangements. If they haven't paid for anything for 3 years, they shouldn't have any money problems. I am hoping they are at least working. Enough is enough. I had to do it with my daughter, she is pregnant and thought that she could just lay around the house here and not have to work or pay for anything. I gave her 2 weeks, she has an apartment now and we get along much better.

There will be hurt feelings, but if they are truly your best friends, they will eventually understand that you are doing them a favor. Just try to bring it up without the kids around.

Answer 4

You did not tell us how old is she, is she able to make a living on her own, did she raise you, and help to get on your feet or not?? If she was good to you, and now she cannot support herself, you - and your siblings, if there are any -owe to her with the support she needs and deserves. Remember, you got your life from her! The least that you can do in this case, to find her another place, and pay for it if she cannot afford it. If it is the other way around - well it is a different thing. Then just be open and honest with her. * Knowing the details it seems you did your best, and she could support herself. Tell her how you long for independence and privacy in your life. She may get upset first, but rest assured, you have the right to live your own life. Time will heal her and you can give her your attention and compassion to make it happen

Answer 5

I would tell her over a drink that you need her to move out and tell her why. If she ia a good friend she will either leave or give you money. If she doesn't do anything send her a bill through the debt collectors for all the meals, cleaning and bills. That would come up to about $5,800 that will do the trick.

Or pack her stuff and put it out the front door ready for her to come home and tell her how you feel.

Answer 6

Are you going to be a push over for the rest of your life ? if so whats your address I'll come and stay a while for free too. There's no way to tell someone nicely that you are tired of being taken advantage of , so you better toughen up and just come out and say YOU CAN'T STAY HERE ANYMORE , I DON'T WANT YOU HERE, START LOOKING FOR A JOB , WELFARE , AND A PLACE TO LIVE . AND YOU BETTER DO THAT EVERYDAY UNTIL YOU FIND SOMETHING BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T I WILL PUT YOU OUT ON THE STREET . Hang on maybe there is a nicer way try this . say ....I'm gonna do you a favour , I'm gonna give you to the end of this month to move out . when she asks hows that a favour you say . because after you leave here you'll learn to be responsible and independent and be be a role model and someone your children will look up to and respect , and that's what I want for you and them .

Answer 7

Really, you must be firm when you communicate this to your friend. Understand that asking them to leave before their ready might put a strain on your relationship. However, if that's what you want, you have to stand firm.

3 years is a hell of a long time and it seems to me that it is your fault that it has gone on so long. No one is going to leave a home where they are comfortable and is rent free! You must make it harder for them to stay. Put in place that they must pay towards the bills and start paying rent as well. If this doesn't encourage them to start looking elsewhere, then I don't know what will.

Answer 8

i am not sure if they are family or not or if it´s just one person or 2 because you talk about their kids... anyways just go and be straight with them telling that you already gave them enough support and attention during this 3 years and that now you and your husband need to spend sometime on your own in your house so they might want to start looking for something to do... tell them that you and your hubby are planning on starting a family and for that you need some time of privacy and intimacy and it´s hard for you all to have it while they are there. Be straight, they sound like they are taking advantage of the whole situation and using their kids to inspire compassion on you... be strong.

Answer 9

No real easy way about this but your going to have to sit down and tell them right out I'm tired of you not paying and pulling your weight around here, if you can't do this than to have a chance at saving our friendship your just going to have to move out. Sorry but this is just not the way I want my life to be. Love you but just can't take it anymore.

I really wish you luck for this is not an easy thing to do.

Answer 10

They are using you cruelly.
I'll tell you: My relatives with their 3 children came several times on a holiday at my house.I had to service them always one month and they had nice holidays at me on the sea beach.I had to cook all day - 3 times meal and clean.I had ters in my eyes and I was tired sitting only at home and serve them and pay allwhich they used.
It happened after years that I needed their help and I went tomy other aunt.They all live in another country thousandsa miles far from me.
My aunt told me that my cousine said that I havenot come there to their house because he will trought me out of his door.That was his and their grateful for all.My mother died and they even did not say me SORRY!!!
So,they have no shame and no merc for you,your relatives living at your house.Whatwillhappen if you will have not money to pay the bills and not for living!!!!Doyoubelieve that they will help ou and care for you even if you will be seriouselly ill?I donot believe for this!
You can tell them kindly to find another place tolive somewhere because you have our own life and a family and itis a time they to care for themselvesand ou are not their slave.Please,thinkabout your family, could be destroyed.
Wish you a good luck and do not afraid them to tell going out of your house.