How do I explain to my 11yr old son why god has chosen to take his father at a young age?

Question

my 11yr-old just buried his father yesterday.

He had drowned, he couldn't out in time. He was not under the influence either.

He had drowned, he couldn't get out in time. He was not under the influence .

Answer 1

you dont!!!!!!!!!!!you tell him the truth..that satan.the lord of THIS WORLD has taken his father.god gave man freewill,but the devil minipulates that will for evil.sometimes there is just no answer...which might be the very test of FAITH that god has given you...please never loose faith in the lord!!teach your son about jesus,then let him determine his own beliefs.
god bless you always..i am VERY SORRY!
my words mean nothing..but a parents to a child...mean everything!

Answer 2

This is a toughie! Why don't you do a few "dry runs" with the boys to see how they do together? Go to the grocery and leave them home together with whatever instructions you give and see how it goes. Set them up for failure -- yes, I said failure! If you say to NOT answer the door while you're away, then leave and come back in a few minutes to ring/knock on the door (stay down from the peephole!) and see if they answer the door or call out "who's there?". My son is 11 and stays home for short spurts of time and initially failed a couple of times on my various "tests", but when we both felt comfortable, we were both good to go. Honestly, I've never been gone longer than two hours and I'm always within a 2-4 mile radius with a cell phone attached. I would worry if your son was totally responsible for the younger boy from 8:30 - 2:00. If you choose to do this, then make it easier for them both and "pack" a lunch so there is no need to handle the stove or oven. Good luck and I know you'll make the best choice for your family!

Answer 3

That truly sucks. I really empathize with what you are going through. I've been there too many times.

When I was eleven, I didn't believe in god. I know this won't help you, but if someone tried to tell me there was some "reason" why my dad was gone, It would have made me feel even worse. I wouldn't want to hear reasons. I would just want him back. As for god doing it, well I can't even offer advice in this regard, but I do know that theists and atheists alike feel the same pain when they lose a loved one.

I think that when you so close to the event, you are overwhelmed by grief, and explanations, even divine ones, don't really sink in. I think all you can do is be there, and tell him how much you love him, and how much his father loved him, and that it's okay to be sad and miss his father. It's okay to feel the loss. Just let the emotions do what they will do.

There are five stages: shock, denial, grief, acceptance, healing. Your son is almost certainly in the first stage, so explanations aren't going to help, or matter. Just be there for him in whatever capacity he needs, the same way you will want people to be there for you.

Answer 4

before I try to answer this, I want to say how sorry I am that you lost your husband and your son lost a father , especially so young. These questions are hard for adults to comprehend let alone an 11 yr, old. One thing you can tell him is that his father loved him very much and that for whatever reason God chose to take him home- admit that you really do not have all the answers. I was in my 20's when I lost my dad and it took me a yr to comprehend it all. To much info at 11 may be hard for him to process. I know my mother never really grieved my father's death in front of me. You may think that is ok, however I wish that she had, because then we could have processed ts together. Pray to our God and He will give you the right words to tell your son. Again may God give you a peace that passes all understanding, even in the midst of your loss.

Answer 5

First my sympathies.
Next. Don't lie to your son. It will hurt worse later.
It is not God's fault. Most of life is not the fault of anyone. Accidents befall us all.
Most important, show him from the Bible the condition of the dead. Eccles. 9: 5-6 shows his father is not in any pain. The account of Lazarus shows Jesus comparing death, which he knew Lazarus was dead, to sleep. His father is asleep in death. Although his father is no longer with him, he can draw comfort from that and the hope of a ressurection to a paradise earth. Acts 24: 15; Mark 5: 35-42

Answer 6

I am sorry for yours and your son's loss..but why would you tell him that? Why is it that you believe God chose to take his father? The Bible does not tell us that God takes people from us ..He allows things to go ahead and happen..and noone knows all of the reasons..perhaps whatever happened to your son's father was allowed because it may make someone ask questions about God..perhaps it was allowed because somewhere down the track something worse may have happened to Him..I do not know..but there is nothing in scripture to tell us that God chooses to take people from us in death..that is a terrible thing to tell a chile to be honest.
May God bless you both and comfort you during this time of sadness.
(I am sure God shed tears at this man dying too..and I am sure He cries seeing how hurt you all are..after all, this man was Gods child too.)

Answer 7

It would be helpful if you tell us what caused his demise so proper explanations could be given to your 11yr old.. Did he live an extravagant life? Was he a substance abuser? Was it an accident?... those sort of details.

Answer 8

We all come from God, we all go back to God.

We all have a certain amount of time here, some longer than others.

His daddy is in heaven with Jesus and one day you and your son will be there too, when it is your time.

Tell him his daddy is still watching over him and you and always will be.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Peace and Love and may God Bless.

Answer 9

I lost my mom a couple years ago- she was only 49.
Just tell him some people die young, that's just how it is, and he didn't do anything wrong, it's no ones fault, and it's okay to be upset about it as long as he needs to. And make sure you tell him his dad will always watch out for him. Someone who loves you that much never really leaves you.

Answer 10

Isaiah 57:1 The righteous perish,
and no one takes it to heart;
the devout are taken away,
and no one understands
that the righteous are taken away
to be spared from evil.

2 Those who walk uprightly
enter into peace;
they find rest as they lie in death.