How should we handle an OCD(Obsessive Comulsive Disorder) patient in our family?

Question

Should we be polite with him/her and let him/her do whaterever he/she likes or should we be stirct against his/her acts.

Answer 1

The best things you can do is learn to seperate the person from the affliction and educate yourself of the illness. I will leave you a couple links that give a decent overview of it all.
The visual manifestation of the illness is typically a reaction to what can't be seen. For most with OCD, their thoughts are overly strong and they try to compensate for it by finding a physical distraction. Only half of the illness can be observed.
If a person with OCD can feel comfortable enough to communicate openly about their thoughts, feelings, emotions or concerns, the strength of the impulse to find that distraction usually lessens.
It is not uncommon for those with OCD to have a seperate distinct mental health related matter to coexist.
As for how to figure things out in the living arrangement,
find a compromise and set reasonable limitations. If they spend an hour in the shower, that is obviously waaaay too long. Reason with them by saying most people take 15 minutes, and a half hour would be a fair compromise. If, for whatever reason, they can't manage to get their routine down to a half hour, no big deal as long as they are trying. If they are a compulsive germ hater, give them the responsibility of buying the materials to disinfect everything. Start off slowly, and work on setting goals.
Being strict will be very difficult on them, being polite will be very difficult on everyone around them. A compromise does exist, and it should probably change in time.. Give the person the opportunity to make gradual adjustments in their behaviors. Let them know that something is unacceptable, and give them a reasonable timeframe in which to modify their behavior.
For someone with OCD to not want to try and work on their condition and get things closer to realistic, it gets extremely frustrating. Your life begins to revolve around their condition rather than coexist with it. I have no idea of how to work through this. People that don't want help can't be helped.
If they are a 'patient' and seeking treatment for the disorder, they should be somewhat aware of how the affliction affects those around them. Most that are seeking treatment are learning to understand how their actions are interpreted by others and know what they need to try and accomplish to make things work.
It takes lots of time, patience, and understanding from you.
It takes a great amount of self discipline and flexibility from them.
Being overly strict will just make things much worse. They will usually percieve this as a confusing threat and react by closing themselves off and feel like a burden to those around them.. it feeds the illness.
No, I am not a doctor, or psychologist, or psychotherapist. I have spent years and years trying to understand my own issues, and have learned a lot about all the similar ones along the way. I have met and talked with quite a few people out there in the world trying to work their way though OCD. It is no fun for anybody involved, but with knowledge comes understanding.. and nothing but positive steps forward can come of that.
Good luck to you :)
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/healthinformation/ocdmenu.cfm
http://www.medicinenet.com/obsessive_compulsive_disorder_ocd/article.htm

Answer 2

Be polite, nice and loving to him/her, tolerant and acceptant, also sometimes reassuring, but at the same time do not let him/her do anything they want. Find a good balance between those two. Some reassurance is necessary in order to lower anxiety.

To those people who are advocating meds and CBT: I have yet to see someone on meds whose OCD improved very noticeably (mine improved by at least 50 % with natural therapies only!!). If you are on meds, please know that the best way to get off them is to start the natural therapy and then SLOWLY wean off the med! CBT works only if it's not forced and accompanied by real natural anxiety-lowering products like passionflower tea, b-complex or fish oil. With high anxiety, you cannot tell the person not to wash hands, that will actually make it worse. Doesn't mean you will encourage them either. Love and compassion as well as understanding in a OCD family situation are the most important thing you can do.

Also look at yourself, you who thinks you have no OCD and you are normal. Well, no one is really normal, we all have our issues. Everyone has some sort of OCD issues, but most don't interfere much with our lives. If you spend 1 hour getting ready to go out, that is obsessive, same as spending 1 hour in the shower. The only difference is that spending time for cleaning and washing seems strange in most people's eyes. It's the society will live in that creates OCD and not the alleged OCD patient. It's always the bystanders with the problem, not the OCD patient. They don't like how the alleged OCD patient washes too often, so they are the one with the problem, they are the ones bothered and sometimes offended. The alleged OCDer is never bothered by their behavior until someone else gives them a hard time about it, stresses them out about it and says they have OCD, sends them to the psychiatrist, then the symptoms increase and the patient actually gets OCD (an amplified version of their regular issues). The symptoms also increase with meds at first and all these meds carry the risk of suicide. It's mostly the intolerance and impatience of the bystander (partner, family, co-workers, etc.) that actually causes the clinical OCD.

Meds are all unnatural substances, they have nothing to do in your body, as our bodies are not designed to handle them. By the time meds kick in to decrease symptoms, it's too late, because then you are hooked on the med for life. The side effects of the meds are so stressful, that your OCD doesn't really improve. No. 1 cause of OCD: not genetics, not lack of serotonin - it's stress!!!! Now, think again before you stress out your loved one in whatever ways.

Answer 3

Don't try and be a family members therapist. Let the professionals decide treatment and you just support and love the person. How about trying to refer to the persona as someone you love who also has ocd...because ocd is not the person but only a small fraction of who they are. I think family members should make little of the ocd compulsions and concentrate on the positive interactions you have and let the professionals deal with the disordered behaviors. Ask the professionals involved what your role is.

Answer 4

You should be polite, but do not continue to offer constant reassurance as the disorder causes the need to continually seek reassurance, which enables the progression of the disorder. I also suggest individual, group, and family therapy that utilizes Exposure and Relapse Prevention techniques. As a therapist and someone who has had OCD tendencies, the OCD workbook has been greatly benefical. Zoloft and Effexor XR are also great at treating OCD.

Answer 5

Good question. I assume the OCD is being treated and you should check with the Doc on how best to deal with them when you are around them. I had a OCD in College and did not know he was OCD until we all had to state our disabilities. Likewise not knowing about the condition I had to ask him and he gave me the insight. That really helped me because then I could ask him if he 'minded' me sitting next to him and so on. Thankfully his OCD did not raise a serious problem in class, but at home, that was and still is different.

Answer 6

You're not going to be able to stop family from buying gifts for your kids if they want to. Its obviously something the enjoy. What we've done in our family, is I know money is tight for my sister.... is we all discussed ahead of time that we only buy gifts for the kids for birthdays and Christmas. So this at least cuts out the adults for a lot of occasions. For stuff like mothers and fathers days, a card will suffice. Don't feel like you have to equal what they give you. I think as long as you acknowledge the occasions with a card or maybe a homemade gift (like cookies or something like that) you are more than covered. People are very understanding. Good luck!

Answer 7

You don't want to enable the behaviors.

You need to get professional advice on how to best not accomodate the behaviors.

I keep "preaching" here on Y!A about the only evidence based treatment for OCD: CBT / ERP which is cognitive behavior therapy / exposure response prevention. It works.

Your family member should be getting this treatment and get advice from his / her therapist on how to best NOT enable the OCD behaviors.

Answer 8

If one does not keep "the hoarder" under control, then one will end up with an extremely out-of-order mess. The hoarding person will take advantage of any space in or outside of the house. Be polite but try to make that person understand the magnitude of what they are doing. Remind the person that he/she is not the only one living in the house.

Answer 9

Just don't say anything. Act normal towards them.

Answer 10

go to holisticonline.com. check diseases and conditions OCD