I've been sort of seeing this guy for about a month. We met through a local event group and have become good friends. He's absolutely perfect and we have so much in common. We hang out all the time and have wonderful chemistry. The problem is, I'm not sure he wants to be anything more than friends. Sometimes I feel like he gives me little hints that he might, but I can't tell for sure. I think he's a really wonderful person, and I would hate to loss him as a friend if he doesn't feel the same way I do, so I'm scared to bring this up or send him any obvious hints that I like him as more. I spend a lot of time with him and I'm not sure how to act anymore. What do I do? I don't want to screw things up and lose him.
2007-05-04 09:52:25 · 24 answers · asked by MaryJane 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be very happy with what you have right now. Keep tab of whatever signs you're getting from him. And yeah, it's okay too to flirt a little. Sooner or later, some things are bound to happen - either it grows stronger (on the friendship level) or it turns to something more. In any case, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Be cool.
2007-05-04 10:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are - but anyway - as the old saying goes "you can't win of you don't play"!
If you're happy with the relationship the way it is then keep it that way - If you want it to be different then maybe your friend and you can have a little chat about the topic. Explain to him that you value his friendship very much and that sometimes you feel attracted to him on a different level. Get good eye contact so you can read his face - and for goodness sake don't be a drama queen about it. Just smile and put it out there - then see what happens. I'm betting he feels the same way and doesn't know how to approach the issue either. Go for it !
2007-05-04 17:01:57 · answer #2 · answered by cleesurrey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend once and she and I were just that, friends and then out of the blue one night after a few beers she made a move on me. Now I'm not going to say I had not thought about it, but it was still a surprise and what was even more of a surprise was that the relationship lasted 4 years and then I took a job out of town and we ended up splitting up and she met someone else and got married and then like 3 years later she showed up on my doorstep late one night and we got back together again for two more years. Her and her husband got back together and I haven't seen her in 22 years, but would love to. She was a very sweet and sincere person and her husband is very lucky to have her. I guess if she was still around we would still be friends, but I knew her husband and I just don't think it would be good to come around and screw up her life. They have been together too long now and I would not want to be responsible for messing anything up.
2007-05-04 17:33:57 · answer #3 · answered by golden rider 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH I've soooo been there! You have to decide HOW MUCH you're willing to give up if he's not into you. Maybe just give it time and if you two get closer then it may just happen on it's own. I'd say not to force anything. If your friendship really is strong, and the fact that you like him becomes common knowledge, it shouldn't ruin your friendship. It may take a bit, but things will all work out! Good luck!
2007-05-04 17:01:50 · answer #4 · answered by Elsie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of COURSE friendships can turn into more. My very soon to be husband and father of my unborn child was my best friend. He introduced me to guys like he didn't like me, he invited me out and bought me all kinds of things. He would always come up with some excuse so that we could spend time together. Then he began with "little hints". One day he begged me to go to the mall with him to take me on another shopping spree, and on the way I said jokingly, seriously smiling- "Hey!!! (I scared him) do you want to date me? or are you just really nice?!" He smiled at me and said --I thought you would never ask me!!!! we've been dating since. IF he's your true friend and he doesn't see things like that with you then he'll let you know but you won't stop being friends. If he's your friend. But you know that once you start dating there is a high chance you won't go back. So don't be afraid to ask, be nervous about the "point of no return" and if you want to date him or not.
2007-05-04 17:02:14 · answer #5 · answered by redbone_dime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him how you feel. I have never tried to turn a friendship into more but I have been the friend that someone else tried to turn us into more. Sadly it did not work. He was a great guy and would have been a prefect man, for someone else though. We didn't stop being friends but it was hard for me to talk to him about my knew relationshipsand we couldn't really stay friends when I got married and even when he got a knew girlfriend. Just cause of how complicated it was for our partners. But we were great friends for 8 or 9 years. It's worth a shot to tell him though. I know plenty of people who turned from friends to lovers after several years of just being friends. Give it a try and if he doesn't feel the same then just be greatful you have him as a friend.
2007-05-04 17:03:25 · answer #6 · answered by Lovemykids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it sounds like a Seinfeld- Elaine situation, you should talk to him, you want to be friends? you will have to get the "relationship" thing out of the way ASAP because you both are feeling weird and frustrated about it. Just talk to him, you want to know where you both stand , it doesn't matter what will happen in the future the important thing is where you both are at RIGHT NOW, are you friends, are you dating?, does he feel there could be something else?. But relax, if it happens it will happen, if it doesn't at least you'll have a great friend. And make sure he understands that, men tend to run away if something doesn't work out, they prefer to not deal with it, make sure he feels relaxed enough to tell you to your face he doesn't like you "that way", it might sting a little but hey!, there's nothing like having a great friend.
2007-05-04 17:01:39 · answer #7 · answered by L M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that maybe you should ask him over cook dinner for him and try talking to him about if there is anyone in his life does he have a girlfriend or if he wants to date or if he would rather be single. pick his brain you will be able to figure it out. But make sure you let him know that you dont want the friendship to go away if he doesnt feel the same way. You can still be friends there is nothing wrong with that.
2007-05-04 16:59:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I'm in the same boat too. its hard to talk to a guy about how you feel when you didn't know how they feel. and you didn't want to mess things up, that's a big one. my guess is just to keep hanging out with him and just see where it goes. it may sound hard but just give it time. here's a trick...."The 8 day rule" if he flirts with you a lot give him 8 days and if he doesn't ask you out or to go out on a day just slowly drift away (if that makes sense) if he likes you he will call you( texting is a GOOD sign too.) "if you have a cell" between these 8 days if he texts you, send little flirty texts back, he'll eventually warm up. i really hoped this helped you.
2007-05-04 17:05:06 · answer #9 · answered by Carmella* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can work, my current gf and I were in the nearly the same boat and we are incredibly happy and wonder why we didnt do it earlier. But the time was right and it worked out great. I would say go for it, Im sorry but most guys are friends with girls because they have an attraction to them, not just because they enjoy the conversation. I would say its a safe bet that you wouldnt be disappointed.
2007-05-04 16:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋