temper tantrums?

Question

How do you fix a 9 month olds temper tantrums? She cries and throws herself back if you take something that she wants. All I can do is take it away and say no, spanking her really doesnt work at this age its not like she knows what she is doing wrong. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

When she has tantrums put her in a safe place and let her have it. She has to learn espicially at that age she doesn't get everything she wants. Whatever you do do not sit there and tell her to stop or give her attention; she also needs to learn that throwing tantrums will not get her attention or what she wants. Tell her that you will comfort her when she is all done. Doing this will definitely be hard and at first it may go on for awhile but you have to be patient because it does work; no one wants to watch their child go through that but it is necessary.

Answer 2

I totally agree with purple binky, her is why:

In the second year of life, also known as the 'terrible twos', the child starts to explore the world around it. Now it needs the security of the parent's availability, interest, and readiness to protect from danger. The child moves out toward the world, and back to the primary caregiver(s). Also, at age two, the cingulate gyrus portion of the brain is developing. The cingulate gyrus gets "stuck" or overfocused and oppositional which explains why two-year olds say "no" to everything. The pre-frontal cortex is the area of the brain responsible for rational thought, and develops after the cingulate gyrus, around age three. Thus, you can reason with an older child, but a two year old needs distraction to be redirected. This is often a time of crisis for parents, and they need to hold on to their tempers and their patience. They also need good coping strategies so they can stay calm in the face of adversity.


they just dont know what they are doing yet, and they dont have the capacity to understand. SO dont let them cry (they wont understand, only know that you are not comforting them) just redirect!

Added:
my daughter is also 9 months and has entered this phase as well, I just take what ever away and hand her something quickly, I dont even make a big deal about and keep things happy. If she throws a fit, get her to smile, act silly with the new toy. She just doesnt know how to control her emotions. If you ignore her, she might cry harder to try to get your attention or her toy back.

Answer 3

I basically agree with all these ladies! All you can do right now is ignore her. Some people don't believe in spanking...I have to say sometimes it is necessary, but wait till about 18 months...9 months is still way too young. They just get scared of you and that is absolutetly not what you want. Let her scream her tantrums out, don't look at her, talk to her, and NEVER give in! (which obviously you are good at if she's throwing the tantrums in the first place) Eventually they will stop! If it happens in a public place...of course it's embarassing and oooooooooh the judgemental glances. Just pick her up and walk out. Then ignore her when you get to the car or where ever you end up. Good Luck....oh and btw unfortunatly they may give up right now but one day they do try again.....and maybe even again.

Answer 4

No spanking, please!

At this age, you do this: stop and redirect. Practice it and do it every time.

Stop the behavior by taking the child out of the situation, then calmly offer them another alternative.

If you take a piece of candy away from them (that they found on the floor or something) remove it, then give them something they CAN have.

Or, if they are banging away on the counter with their sippy cup, take the sippy cup away, then give them something else to play with instead.

See?

Practice good parenting skills early so that you'll keep up with them at each stage!

Answer 5

Of course spanking isn't going to work...unless you are out to prove that you have absolutely no parenting skills and don't have the intelligence to parent effectively without hitting. Just let her throw the tantrum. Don't pay it any attention. THAT is why she is doing it. To get your attention and to get her way. If you ignore her she doesn't succeed either way. By the way, Apes hit their offspring, are you more intelligent than apes or not?

Answer 6

I'm not sure she understands why you are taking it away from her. And explaining to her is kind of a waste, since she probably doesn't understand what you are saying. I would suggest give her something she can have and really likes, while taking away the other thing. Everyone's happy. She'll understand you in time and then you can start explaining why she can't have it. Good Luck!

Answer 7

a 9month old is just starting to explore the world around them i would not be concerned about this behaviour just don't make a big deal out of it choose your battle and make sure u don't give in when you have picked a a fight see it out but dont get frustrated walk away if u have to for a short time but just remember it is not the end of the world if u have to clean up a mess ect your child learns from doing this

Answer 8

When she starts a tantrum, put her in a 'no fun' timeout spot, where she is safe, but has no audience. After she stops, smile at her cheerfully and say, ' let's play/color/eat' whatever, and don't refer to the tantrums.
If she does it again, you do it again. Make sure all her caretakers - you, dad, grandparents, sitter all do the same.
You HAVE to be smarter than her at this stage - the trick is also to be more STUBBORN than her so she won't outwit you!

Answer 9

Keep doing what you are doing and dont give in when she throws her tantrum. If you do she will learn that all she has to do is pitch a fit. eventually, she'll stop when she realizes that she doesnt get her way. good luck

Answer 10

She is not doing anything wrong. Move things out of her reach. That is your responsibility.