A few years back my coworker got married and I spent money at the company party, HER bridal shower, as well as gave a gift of money at the wedding. I spent a lot more than I probably should have and intended to. That marriage lasted less than 6 months.
Now she is getting married again to a new man. I don't believe he's ever been married before. I'm not sure if I'll be invited to this ceremony, but either way am I expected to give a gift?
We are friends in work, but do not do things together outside of the work spectrum.
2007-05-04 08:50:28 · 17 answers · asked by polishedboneofthemoon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I forgot to also mention that I along with one other coworker were the ones to organize her work shower. Thanks to all for their answers so far.
2007-05-04 11:00:24 · update #1
The etiquette surrounding this is very clear. If you have given a gift or gifts to someone for their first marriage, you are not required or expected to give another for their second, third, or other marriages. Especially under these circumstances.
2007-05-04 10:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by valschmal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gifts for a second wedding should not be requested or expected, specially from the guests that contributed to the first wedding.
If you are inviated and plan to attend the reception, and, because it's a co-worker- do buy a gift, although, this time should be a modest one.
If you plan not to attend, then a card would suffice. If she has a bridal shower at work, skip it or share the costs with someon else or a group gift.
Good luck
2007-05-04 16:39:59 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did the couple register anywhere? That may be an indicator as to whether they are expecting gifts. Second weddings usually call for, if anything, the simpler gift, such as a gift card, money, or your good wishes in a nice card. You should find a decorated box at the gift table with a slot in the top for such cards. The bulk of the gifts may be from the never married groom's family and friends, but you don't want to forget her special day. I don't blame you though - I think registering for expensive gifts for your second go around is tacky.
2007-05-04 15:59:11 · answer #3 · answered by Jaina Selene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would show a lack of class on her part if she expects her co-workers to pony up for gifts a second time for her weddings. I will vote No, you don't have to give her anything, you did that the first time.
If you want to, you can go in with a group. But I would be surprised if there are other co-workers who are enthused about getting this girl still more wedding gifts.
If you are not invited to the wedding, definitely do not give her a gift. If you go to the wedding, then yes. It doesn't have to be spectacular though.
2007-05-04 16:10:15 · answer #4 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you are obligated for a gift this soon after the first marriage. You could arrange a lunch in her honor with your other office workers and invite the fiance. That way, you and the other workers are just paying for a lunch for two people instead of a shower and gift.
2007-05-04 16:02:47 · answer #5 · answered by ashpeev 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you feel comfortable with. I don't think should be expected to give any gifts if you're not invited to the wedding; if you ARE invited, and accept, then of course you should bring a gift.
2007-05-04 16:03:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're not invited, then of course not! If you go to the wedding, you give a gift. If you only see her at the office, then tell her congratulations... at the office!
2007-05-04 16:12:59 · answer #7 · answered by Marianne D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be in poor taste for her to actually have a large, gift giving ceremony for this marriage. However, if she chooses to do that, you do not have to give a gift.
2007-05-04 17:38:56 · answer #8 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could go in together with other co-workers and split the cost of a gift they could both use if you want to-------------I don't think it is required and you co-worker shouldn't expect it either!
2007-05-04 15:55:44 · answer #9 · answered by tinymite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
. with out looking at any ones answers i must simply say to you to please buy a card for them and make a note in it that you have made a donation in the honor of their marriage to (name your favoring charity) like the no kill animal shelter.. send $10.00 bucks and take it as a tax deduction and be over it. you have all ready done more than most co-workers would have done any place and time in America.
2007-05-04 17:46:14 · answer #10 · answered by pheebe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋