Where should I get married at a Baptist or Catholic Church?

Question

My fiance' is catholic and i am a baptist, he wants to get married in a catholic church and i just want him to be happy. Is it wrong am i betraying my religion i need to know this, and if i should become catholic after the we become married.

Answer 1

I'm glad you posted this. I was raised Baptist as well and my boyfriend is a devout Catholic. We are going to get married in the Catholic church because its important to him and my religious orientation isn't nearly as strong as his. I will also likely convert before we get married primarily because of two things. The first being that marriage is a sacrament and in order for it to be recognized as such both parties have to be Catholic. The second is that I don't want our children confused by mommy going off to Baptist church while they may attend with me or him but he is definitely heading off to a Catholic service. It's important to me that our family be on the same page in that respect. However, you don't have to do that in order to get married. You just have to do the pre-martial counseling through the Catholic parish in your area, request a dispensation of cult (required for mixed marriages ie different religions) and wait for it to be approved by the bishop. If you would like to get married in your church at that point you may have to request permission to get married outside of a Catholic church which will also have to be approved. The marriage will be considered valid but will not be a sacrament. I've been researching this a lot over the last few months as we have been discussing marriage more and talked about what was important to us. I'm going to attend a RCIA meeting in the fall to see if the plan to convert has any chance at succeeding. He is not pushing it one way or the other but he is very happy that I would even consider it. If this is something you are considering and want to talk more let me know. I've been rifling through a lot of different information and books that might be helpful to you in your decision making process.

Answer 2

I personally don't think this is a question that you should ask strangers to answer for you. Only you and your fiance know how you feel about your religions and this is something you need to discuss together. Part of being married is being able to communicate and make difficult decisions together. Get off the computer and go talk to him! Weigh the pros and cons, think about each of your faiths and decide together what is best for you both of you.

FYI, there is no need for any of you to convert. I just finished a marriage prep course at my Catholic church and, providing one member of the couple is Catholic you CAN get married in the church. Many of the people in the program were of other Christian faiths (or no faith at all) and there is no problem with it. Catholics are also permitted to get married in other churches, but the marriage will not be recognized as a sacrament. If he gets married in your church and would like his marriage recognized in the Catholic church, he simply has to write to the bishop of his diocese and ask for special permission. It amazes me how many people don't know that.

Answer 3

The theological differences between Catholicism and Baptist teachings are so great that I don't think you understand that he CAN'T get married in a Baptist church. You shouldn't get married in a Catholic Church unless you are going to convert which means you will have to abandon pretty well everything Baptists believe in. I suspect you know little to nothing about the differences and suggest you google it all up before you become a Catholic (because you will have to). If you are outside the Catholic Church according to Rome you are not in the Church. But it depends if you are liberal in your views. Maybe both of you should become Presbyterians and split the difference. Sorry to be so negative. You would not be betraying your religion but you would be putting barriers between you and God. Baptists are free of a lot of things found in Catholicism. You don't have to do the Rosary, you don't pray to Saints, no incense, no infant baptism (not found in the Bible because infants can't believe anything but the Bible says a person should repent and BELIEVE on the Lord Jesus Christ and be saved) so Catholic (infant) baptism cannot save anyone. You have to decide if both of you are going to be careless in what your churches teach and sacrifice this for love. Have you actually asked your pastor? Your church may be so liberal they may not mind. On the other hand the only thing that matters is if you both know Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. Then the religious aspects matter rather less. It doesn't really matter if you betray your "religion" but it matters if you betray Christ. Have both of you sat down together and prayed about it??

Answer 4

Better the Episcopalian for economics and the hassels. Different parishes have different compliances. However, the Catholic church will allow a cheaper Indulgence (donation) financially to regain the graces to the Catholic Church if an annullment (divorce) is sought later on and the Catholic wants to remarry. Baptism is not a pre-requisite to marriage. As one of you is Protestant, the Catholic Church may request marriage seminars before the ceremony can happen in a Catholic church. Source: I've been witness (filled out the forms and did the prayers) to two Tribunals ceremonies in the Catholic Church so a divorced Protestant could marry the unmarried Catholic.

Answer 5

.You may want to get married in the Baptist church since they believe that any christian can marry in their church. as to the catholics they will not recognize your marriage because you are not a catholic.
so i say what `s wrong with this picture. Since the Bible teaches us that there is one church and one body of Christ. I would pick the Church that comes the closes to Jesus`s teaching,. As a Baptist you already know this.

Answer 6

As a baptized Catholic he is obligated to get married in the Catholic Church. A married outside won't be considered valid by the church (It would be recognized as legal). I don't know the requirements of matrimony in your religion by I applaud your willing to sacrifice for your husbands happiness. After the wedding talk to the RC IA director at the church to see if the faith interests you. I believe any religion that encourages goodness and love is a great one so I will only suggest that you and your husband decide on one religion. It's easier when it comes to raising kids when Mom and Dad believe in the same thing.

Answer 7

This is a HUGE decision to make, and has to be made between the two of you. If you are hoping to have children in the future, this is a very serious matter, because it will influence how they are raised.
There are mixed religion marriages, for info. on that, talk to the priest and minister. If you get married in the Catholic faith, the non-Catholic spouse must agree to raise the children Catholic. You just need more information...

Answer 8

Go with the catholic church, you are not a baptist anyway. The fact that you're asking if you should become a catholic after you get married says everything about your religion.

Answer 9

Well my hubby was raised in a Chruch of Christ and I was raised in a southern Baptist church and we married in a Baptist church. I think you should talk to your fiance' and tell him your feelings. You should never change religions just to make someone else happy. You need to make that decision for yourself based upon your beliefs. If the two of you cannot come to an agreement on a marriage spot; I say do not get married in either. Maybe you could get married in a chapel that does not represent a particular denomination or any other popular wedding spot in your community. Hope this helps. Good luck on your wedding! :)

Answer 10

Whoa...slow down.

You both should discuss the circumstances and what you want. You can incorporate both religions into the wedding.
My friend (we are Pentecostal Christians) married a man with Jewish ties. They had a Christian service, but he wanted to honor his side of the family. So he broke the glass, which is what they do in Jewish customs.

Also, you could have your preacher and his priest both perform at the ceremony.

The marriage is about the two of you coming together. You don't have to pick his religion just because you are marrying him. Agree to disagree.

You could always hold a non-denomintaional wedding ceremony.

Hope you can find a compromise. Good luck

To those who answered below me.....how rude and negative.
And don't judge Christianity without knowing about it.
Christians have baptisms to, but they are just an outward sign of an inner change.