What if the guy is not needed as a dad to th child and what if the female makes double what the guy makes? Does the guy still need to think of himself as a 'father' or be afraid of his 'money' being taken? Or are these old stereotypes from their parents days?
2007-05-04 08:18:11 · 11 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Having the opportunity to be a stepdad though is totally separate from hanging out, dating, being a boyfriend to the mother or of EVER coming in to play and it never needs to be anyones goal. unless finances get shared then the childs financial needs need to be included in money. As far as the 'role' of a 'stepdad', isn't stepdad someone you MARRY. If your not married they are not a stepdad
2007-05-04 08:28:04 · update #1
Put it this way, Im not interviewing fathers. Obviosly the guy cant be totally xrated. Well. He can be but he just cant come over then. So I am not interested in 'dating' as a way of seeing hes appropriate,. I am interested in only what I like. period. My son is not part of it, but that person has to know how to act around kids obviosyl. The demand on him is LOW, I want guys to know that there is NO demand., Its too bad that makes them feel useless. they shouldnt...
2007-05-04 08:35:54 · update #2
I was in a situation where I was making plenty of money to provide for my child and myself. My sons father had passed away a while ago and was never really around before then. My son definitely missed having a full time male role model. For years I believed the same as you, that my son didn't need a man around to act as the father, until I met John. I realized all the guy things that my son was missing out on, like watching sports. My son now has respect for women that he probably wouldn't have had if it wasn't for seeing me work hard and the positive male role model that he now has if it wasn't for the man who became his father.
You may not be ready to allow someone into your life and your sons life to act as the male figure. Or you just may not have met the right guy to take on that role. But when it does happen, it will be so magical. It will be like the guy was always there, from day one.
But, I am not saying that you need to have a man in your life or your sons life. My circumstances just happen to work out that I met a wonderful person who fit so perfectly in our lives. Who fell in love with not only me but my son as well. And my son adores.
I dated plenty of men that my son never met, and I was not interviewing potential fathers. I was just dating to see what I liked and to have a good time with someone that struck my interest. I Just happened to have met the 'perfect' man during that process.
I hope that you find that person though, because it is such a wonderful feeling.
2007-05-06 04:05:38 · answer #1 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been a single mom for 14 years and When I do date, the guy is never introduced to my son until after we've been together for 6 months or more. And even then, the guy know that I'm the SOLE authority on my son and what I say in regards to my son, goes. At that point, the guy is nothing more than a friend/buddy too my son.
The moment the man decided to propose, then the roles will start too switch and by the time the marriage takes place, the roles will be where the man in is the 'father' position
2007-05-04 15:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by myhrmaid... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dating is just that...dating. If I was a single mom and started dating someone new, I would never expect or want my man to act like my child's father or to provide for my child financially. Even if the relationship became serious, I would not expect him to act that way. My child already has a father and does not need a replacement. However, if the relationship got to the serious level, I would be happy to have my man as a father figure to my child but he would never be a replacement dad.
2007-05-04 15:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by Erin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not if you are just casually dating, when the serious dating or moving in or anything else starts taking place then things may change, the man is not going to want to be disrespected by that kid and the kid is not going to want to be disrespected by that dude. It only doesn't matter as long as you keep that man out of that kids life, unless of course you are just friends and if it is a good enough dude he will like and want to be good to the kid anyway. I am not going to have no a hole or punk in front of my kid, that is just that. I am not going to put no man ahead of my kid either. He will be grown up soon enough, dude don't like that he don't like me.
2007-05-04 20:55:28 · answer #4 · answered by Friend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not necesarrily; but as a man you want to believe you have some value. I could deal with that senario and love someone; the question could she love me for not being a father nor a provider.
2007-05-04 15:26:58 · answer #5 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are actually stereo types....I strongly feel that single moms don't meet guys expecting them to be the father to their child.... Sometimes women are just looking for a new friend. It doesn't mean that at all...
2007-05-04 15:23:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they need to. It is a question of whether they want to. I think, though, that he needs to be able to have an opportunity to be a stepdad.
2007-05-04 15:22:14 · answer #7 · answered by bigfree_2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are just old stereotypes way back in the day.nope I don't think so of any of your questions above
2007-05-04 15:21:46 · answer #8 · answered by Kill Hanna Lover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not when dating as gf n bf
wait til u have the rings then dude does need to b dad
money don't matter
2007-05-04 15:24:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the guy doesn't need to be, but he should be aware he's seen as a role model of sorts. unless it's serious, he doesn't have to provide, but can if he wants to.
2007-05-04 15:23:27 · answer #10 · answered by robyoung3484 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋