Am I crazy? Or is it my mom?

Question

My mom will say something insulting my dad or someone else, and when I call her out on it immediately, she says she didn't say it, that I hate her, and am putting words in her mouth. She basically lives to complain about people and things, and STILL complains about people that insulted her or didn't get along with her 20 or 30 years ago! And she is always so pessimistic... recently, she said her foot hurt and that maybe it was a blood clot and God was going to take her that way. When I sarcastically said that was a positive way to think, she said I would be happy if she died. I asked her when I had ever said that she said I had said "something to that effect", but eventually said she couldn't remember when I pressed her on it. It really feels like emotional abuse because she is just so depressed and bitter, yet anytime I says she needs help, she accuses me of hating her, lying about her, and always being against her. What is up with this?

Answer 1

see a family counselor or other professional

if you mother refuses to go for counceling with you, go yourself

focus on the problem to be solved, not on whether you are 'crazy.' - you probably are not.

avoid sarcasm

Answer 2

Wow. If you're not crazy you soon will be living with that all the time. She sounds like she is depressed and paranoid. She needs help. But you're probably not the one to get her any. Hopefully you have another adult or family member who can point her in the right direction. Hang in there.

Answer 3

I can really relate to what you are talking about. My mom was the same way when I was growing up. I only now discovered the name it. It sound like your mom has borderline personality disorder. There are books about it and you can do a google search about this disorder and parents who have it and how it effects you. Keep strong and please look up this disorder it will help you to deal with it. The thing with people who have this is that they will deny having it, so it won't help to confront her about it since she denies having said what she said.

Answer 4

You did not say how old your mother is, if she is in her
late 40's or early to mid 50's she may be suffering from
menopause, this may cause a hormonal imbalance.

See if you can get her to see a doctor (regardless of her age)
because something is not quite right here.

Answer 5

Your mom is depressed and instead of getting help for it, she's unintentionally trying to bring everyone else down with her. Try to convince her to get counseling. And if she won't, distance yourself from her as much as you can. She'll make you miserable too. That's what I had to do. My mom was exactly that way....and she still is.

Answer 6

Obviously your mom has issues... It does no good to bring it up to her. She is in denial and it does no good except to create stress between the two of you. She is just going to take it in a negative way.

Take the high road and let it go.

Answer 7

I think you need to get your mom some help. I don't know why you'd think your crazy. Unless you just made that whole thing up you aren't. But consider getting help for your mom.

Answer 8

Your mom sounds as if she has decided to be negative, period. Nothing you say or do will please her. She must find something that she likes, by being this way. But, since I have dealt a lot with people who cannot be pleased, and those who really seem to enjoy feeling 'picked on', I learned, long ago, that I cannot please them.

Answer 9

this might not be the best place to get an answer to your question. you don't want people your age to give you advice. that's why i recommend that you see somebody who kkows you and your family and that you believe they could counsel either you or your mom.

Answer 10

You should watch the first couple of seasons of the Sopranos.