Basically while messing around on his computer i came accross a convo that my bf had with his ex. Reading it i was shocked. He was still talking to her as if they were still going out. Using the same lines on her as he does on me. He even went as far as to say "i love u....do u love me?" to her (to which she answered yes). We were together when this convo happened in Jan. But when i confronted my bf about this he sed"i only sed that to her to make her feel better" and that i should just let it go because it happened a while ago. I dont know what to do....should i let it go?
Sounds wierd but the convo showed me a side of him i dont really like... prior to this he always told me that he hated his ex....which he obviously doesnt....why does he lie?? what shud i do? :(
2007-05-04 06:30:37 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him to make up his mind,Who do you love more, me or her? Cause you cant have both , I'm sorry to say , But if he picks her, then you need to leave him, and find someone who will love you , and only you, stand up for yourself, and respect yourself , girl
2007-05-04 09:59:31 · answer #1 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably still has feelings for his ex. No guy in their right mind will tell a girl he loves her, then ask her if she loves him "just to make her feel better". That is a lie that he's covering up from you to protect your feelings.
Just know this.....
If a guy is with you & he really loves you, cares for you. HE WILL NOT talk to other girls or tell other girls he loves them. Guys wouldn't waste their time with that. He will put all his focus on you & ONLY YOU. No one else! A guy who is really in love with you will bend over backwards to make you happy & if he were really in love with you, I'm very sure that you wouldn't be complaining about this because it wouldn't be happening! In your case....your boyfriend does not love you completely. He may have feelings for you & his ex girlfriend at the same time. That's what it sounds like. You do your part & BE SMART about it. Don't let it slide. I know you love him & it's hard but you should never let any guy get away with this type of crap because if he can't respect you, then he has no business being with you. Let him know he's got a lot to lose since he's not really being honest with you. There are a lot of other guys out there who can treat you much better.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-05-04 06:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is going to sound harsh but I have to say it. You need to break up with your bf. He is hiding something from you and he lied about it. If that's not reason enough to dump him then i don't know what is. He only said that he hates his ex because he knew that he couldn't have her and he was maybe a little hurt. Now that she is back in the picture he thinks he has a chance to connect with her again. If you don't break it off, he will be cheating on you within the next few months. I say you should avoid the whole mess and let him go now.
2007-05-04 06:35:16 · answer #3 · answered by Vince R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This issue still seems to be upsetting you, So I think you should sit down with a friend, Or trusted family member and talk to them about it and have a good cry if you need to. Im in a similar situation at the moment, My bf is in love with another girl and has been cracking onto her for awhile now while hes still been with me! If his behaviour continues and he still is talking to his ex like that, Perhaps break up with him and find a man who will treat you with the honesty and respect you Deserve:)
Stick tight, things will get better
Hope this helps
2007-05-04 06:36:49 · answer #4 · answered by -Ashlee- Eeeep! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I would like to say that I hate when men say that. "It means nothing, I just said or did that to make her feel better." I can't stand that!!!!
He knew from the beginning that you are his new girlfriend NOW so why in the world is he even socializing with the ex? That is ridiculous. And for him to tell her that he loves her is really a sign that he is playing the both of you. If he truly loves you as he says, why is he telling someone else that he loves her, first of all. And secondly, why does he have to be the one to make her feel better? She doesn't have a friend she can talk to or a MOTHER. Come on now! That is awful. Sounds to me like your boyfriend is trying to be a playa and you need to put a stop to it.
My opinion, you need to kick him to the curb. One last thing, you said that he was making it seem as if they have went out, how do you know they haven't? Like I said earlier, he is playing the both of you and you need to end that NOW. (unless the both of you was Not in a committed relationship)
Good luck on your decision.
2007-05-04 06:38:57 · answer #5 · answered by jetta 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your Boyfriend is afraid of change. He says he loves you because you're there now. And, he's afraid of what would happen if you weren't there now. He tells his ex the same thing because he still can't let go and to hear it back makes him think they still have a chance.
If you don't like what you see as Boyfriend / Girlfriend, then it'll only get worse if you get married. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Find another.
2007-05-04 06:39:59 · answer #6 · answered by Zeltar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think hes an ideot for what he did, Straight up he was a fool. But i bet if he could take it back, he would in an instant. Hes not Cheating on you, we all do stupid things in moments of weakness and everyone here knows it. It could have been a common misconception he could have just been very friedly with his ex at the time. What you need to ask yourself is honestly do u love him? because if u truly do then theres no point in listening to he rest of these retards who have no idea how much you 2 care about each other. Ask him hu he loves and if its you let it go Because loves to precious to jus let slip. i know your angry at yourself for loveng him and him 4 making u but, thats Y they call it falling in love, becauseyou cnt force yoursel to fall. xGx
2007-05-04 13:41:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a difficult thing to deal with, knowing or expecting that ur bf has feelings 4 someone other than u. It's not nice to snoop but i would c if there r anymore conversations and if they r i would drop him cus it seems that he's tryna have his cake n ice cream 2. follow ur heart dou dont let no one send u in the wrong direction.
2007-05-04 06:40:50 · answer #8 · answered by Alyssa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people can tell you to cut him loose but since January you are still hanging on to him.You already caught him in a lie
and he's probably gettin it from both of you, don't be a sucker.
Some men just aren't satisfied with having one girl. Don't let this be the story of your life, don't let it dawn on you 10 years from now that you threw away your youth on this player.
2007-05-04 06:40:06 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really believe that you trust him, trust him. But if some of you still feels like hes not telling you something, confront him seriously and ask him. He could be cheating or he could just be making that girl feel better. Don't jump to conclusions, just ask him. Hope everything turns out well.
2007-05-04 06:36:00 · answer #10 · answered by Dramatic Diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should NOT let this go because you basically caught him in a lie...he is lying to you about other girls. Guys don't say "I love you" to just make a girl feel better...that is such bull. He said that because he is trying to play her, and it looks like he is playing you as well. YOu must decide whether you can be with a guy who can't be trusted, because he is likely gonna find other ways to try to keep in touch with her (and maybe other girls out there you don't know about); or to cut your losses and find a guy who isn't going to go around telling other girls he "loves" them.
2007-05-04 06:34:37 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋