make me laugh?

Question

I AM BORED i don't care if the jokes are sensible or naughty just make me laugh!

Answer 1

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken!

Answer 2

Two blondes walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and
start toasting and cheering, "51 days! 51 Days!!" About five minutes later,
another blonde walks in,Orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.

Finally, another blonde walks in with what looks like a
Cardboard picture. She puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and
starts cheering with the others, "51 days!
51 days!! The Bar Tender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to
discover that the picture is a Cookie Monster Puzzle. He walks over to one of
the blondes and asks, "What on earth are you doing??" "Well," the blonde says,
"everyone thinks blondes are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of
this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!

Answer 3

a woman had gone to her gynecologist and when he was finished with her exam, he said,"every thing looked fine. i feel compelled to tell you that you have the largest vagina I have ever seen in my 20 yr. career as a OBGYN" The woman was reduced to tears and cried all the way home. Once she was home, she put on a dress with no panties and went to the bathroom. She picks up a hand held mirror and tries to look up her dress with no success. she then went to the living room and removes a large mirror from the wall and stands over it with her dress held up to see what the doctor was talking about. She heard her husband at the front door, but has no time to put things away, so he catches her standing there with her dress held up. he asks, what are you doing? her response was " Dancing" He then replies, "Well, better be careful not to step in that big hole in the floor!"

Answer 4

A man walks into a building and gets into the lift. He presses the button for the fifth floor. At the second floor the most stunning woman he has ever seen gets into the lift and leans seductively against the wall.

The man doesn't know where to look and starts to get very nervous. The woman begins to unbutton her blouse and throws it on the floor. She then takes off her bra and throws it on the floor. At this stage the guy is getting very nervous.

Then she says: "Make a woman out of me".

He unbuttons his shirt, throws it on the floor and replies, "Here, iron that."

Answer 5

Little Susie is sitting in Sunday School reading a book. The teacher walks up and looks over her shoulder and asks, "What are you reading, Susie?"

Susie replies, "I'm reading the story about Jonah and the whale and how the whale swallows Jonah whole."

"Well, Susie" says the teacher, "it's true that a whale is a large mammal, but its throat still isn't large enough to enable it to swallow a grown man whole."

"Oh, yes," says Susie, "it's true; the Bible says so."

"But Susie," says the teacher, "not everything in the Bible is literally true."

"Oh, yes it is," says Susie, "and I can prove it. When I get to Heaven, I'll ask Jonah if it's true."

"All right, Susie," says the teacher mischievously, "but what will you do if by some chance Jonah went to Hell?"

"Well," says Susie, "in that case I'll let you ask him!"

Answer 6

Late one night a burglar breaks into a house he thinks is empty. He tiptoes through the living room, but freezes when he hears a loud voice say “Jesus is watching you.” It all goes quiet, so the burglar continues to creep forward. “Jesus is watching you,” the voice booms again. The burglar stops dead. In a dark corner, he spots a parrot in a cage. “Did you just say Jesus is watching me?” he asks the parrot. “Yes,” the parrot replies. The burglar breathes a sigh of relief then asks “is your name Jesus?” “No, its Clarence,” the bird replies. “That’s a dumb name for a parrot,” sneers the burglar. “What idiot named you Clarence?” “The same idiot that named the Rottweiler Jesus.”!!!!

hope you like it!! xx




edit: im sorry but Ashley those jokes arent even funny anymore, i mean do you have any non blonde jokes. the first few mad me laugh, but now im just pissed off.

Answer 7

one day, this blonde came out from macy's, LADEN with shopping bags and xtra change. all of a sudden, a guy comes up with a knife and says "GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY AND BAGS!" she gives it to him. he scraps a circle on the ground with his knife and says, "stay in this circle until i come back or else." she steps in and he starts looking around for a getaway car. all of a sudden, the blonde starts to giggle. than a small smothered laugh. pretty soon she was bursting with laughter. the robber turned and said, "dude. y r u laughing??" she says, "when u weren't looking *snicker* i stepped outside the circle."

i had a better one but cnt think of it now

Answer 8

Well, there was this girl who was in a solid metle box with no doors or windows. In it, there was a piano, bat, table, and a saw. i know 3 was she could have gotten out. 1, she played on the piano until she found the right KEY. 2, swung the bat 3 times until she was OUT. 3, she sawed the table in half and 2 halfs make a HOLE, and she crawled out through it. once she was out, she yelled until her voice became HORSE and ran away on it.

Answer 9

Question posted this six days ago, I hope you are ok now.
Where do pepople find the time to be bored or find so many jokes?

Answer 10

Look up "Fox Hat" a video on a search engine.

Answer 11

My wild oats have turned to Shredded Wheat!

Police Station toilet stolen.....Cops have nothing to go on.

Jesus is coming! Look busy.