I'm find it hard to get used to a new 4 day old baby, She came home 2 days ago, We already have a 3 year old and he's being naughty now to get the attention, I hardly have a minute now to myself, me and my partner are arguing etc, it just really really hard.
And this is going to sound so awful but, when we had our first child at the birth I was so happy, It was like I was walking on air and had a perminant smile on my face for days, it didn't happen with this child, if anything I feel depressed, and can't wait to get back to work from paternity leave.
Any ideas please?
2007-05-04 04:16:09 · 10 answers · asked by danny d 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
whenever you get a moment (like when your baby is sleeping) do something like read a couple books to your older child and give them lots of hugs. talk to your doctor about possible post-partum. I hate to say this but it's gonna get worse before better because right now the baby is sleeping alot. It gets really hard when the baby goes through crying spells, separation anxiety at apprx. 8 months. etc.
2007-05-04 04:22:54 · answer #1 · answered by Namom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that the previous answerers who have mentioned 'baby blues' and 'post partum depression' should read the question more carefully.
The asker says "can't wait to get back to work from paternity leave.". Mothers have Maternity leave, fathers have Paternity leave, so this question is being asked by the baby's father not mother. Either that or the asker is really tired and can't spell!
I think you should try to spend as much time with your 3 year old as possible on his own so he knows he is still loved.
Also try to involve him in activities to do with the new baby so he feels involved and engaged eg he can help to hold things and pass things when the baby is being changed.
Try to get plenty of sleep (as much as is possible with a new baby!).
Drink plenty of pure water - try for 2 litres per day.
You could also talk to your doctor and see if he can help, but be careful if he just prescribes Prozac as that is a route you probably don't want to start going down.
You might also want to try a vitamin supplement containing 5-hydroxy-tryptophan (5-HTP) as I've read that that can improve your mood when feeling depressed.
Hope this helps.
2007-05-04 04:35:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Being moved further down the pecking order is no fun for anybody - your son or yourself. A second child really does divide up your time. Its a whole new chapter in your family life. Dont beat yourself up about it my husband was exactly the same and we argued too but once no. 2 was about 6 months our routine was sussed and we were back to normally.
2007-05-04 04:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is possible for dads to get postpartem. sound slike the case for you. you have ti understand that women have the chance to bond with the child for months before it actually arrives. unfortunately dads don't get that chance. call your doctor and try to make time for your partner and your older child. i have 3 of my own and it gets harder to spread the love, but you have to try. i have a 7 month old that is the center of attention because he is getting into EVERYTHING right now, but i also have a 4 and 7 year old that deserve the same attention. your doctor can give you advice on how to best deal with your particular situation. good luck!
2007-05-04 04:29:16 · answer #4 · answered by jrenee49 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly i feel for you but u have to pull it together for ur family. Of course your not going to be as happy as the first as this time its more work. Get a routine sorted for your three year old thus leaving u time to spend with ur wife/gf. listen to the other writers go and see your doctor. but routine is the answer and lots of hugs so ur 3 yr old doesnt feel left out
2007-05-04 04:29:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi sounds to me like your suffering from baby blues but if it lasts longer than a week or so then it could be post natal depression and u need to have a wee chat to your health visitor...i have an 8 month old boy and was diagnosed very quickly it hit me like a tonne of bricks just wanted to enjoy my baby but my head wouldn't let me...no with the help of my health visitor i feel much better ...if u need to chat u can contact me take care
2007-05-04 09:44:38 · answer #6 · answered by tracyw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to feel that way. Hormones are crazy after pregnancy and it can be harder when you bring a newborn home and you already have a toddler. If you don't feel better in a couple of days talk to your doctor. Postpartum depression is real, and you might have it with one pregnancy and not another.
2007-05-04 05:13:10 · answer #7 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i too have two children close together (boy 19 mon., girl 8 weeks) when my little girl came home i was overwhelmed. i am a stay at home mom and i have to get "alone time" just to get myself toghether. i wish i could say it is and will be easy but it is not. me and my husband do trade off (he spends time with my little girl, while i give my little boy attention). my little boy still acts up for attention but after a few weeks you will get the hang of it! keep your head up, but talk to your doctor because you may be suffering from baby blues or postpartum depression. i am sure you and hubby are both overwhelmed and trying to get adjusted to two scedules. it will get better!! best of luck to your family!
2007-05-04 04:23:53 · answer #8 · answered by lsugirl0002 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
u have postpartum depression I had it bad with my second child and the more kids u have the worse it gets. It took me 2 months to get over it. Youll get over it and used to your new baby
2007-05-04 04:40:46 · answer #9 · answered by amelia_0405 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Fist off don't fell guilty to me it sounds like you have the baby blues, you need to call you dr. and they can set you up with someone to talk to. there is also a good web site that you can vist www.postpartum.net, good luck
2007-05-04 04:23:48 · answer #10 · answered by Stephanie A 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋