How do i not react and take a step back?

Question

i get stressed v easily and snap at ppl. im fine after i have calmed down later but the ppl i snap at are obviously pissed off wit me!

Answer 1

If you figure it out let me know. I do the same thing. I blow up and then I'm over, while my husband bottles everything up. There has to be a happy medium somewhere.

People have always told me to count to 10 or take deep breaths, but I still snap sometimes. Good luck I hope you find the answer.

Answer 2

I have the same prob, and I suspect many people actually have the same problem. Some deal with it by snapping at others, some snap at themselves.

I think the root of this violent or self-destructive behavior is the built-up anger. Usually the source of the anger can be traced to someone who had the chance to piss *you* off more or less constantly for a longer period. Like parents, for example, in my case. They pissed me off constantly for 20 years. It's not easy to carry 20 years of anger and wish for revenge with you. Especially if they tell you you had no right to be angry to begin with.

At first I just accepted the situation and thought I had no right. So I kept it in. But if you try and keep it in, it will start bursting in short fits of anger, and you'll be labeled as a person with a 'inability to control rage'. That is simply not true. The truth is, you have controlled the rage for so long that you can't hold it any longer. The best thing you could do is to find a peaceful way of letting it all out. Violent games are not the best possible solutions, but they can be a temporary fix (they simply don't last long because you are never physically exhausted after playing computer games). You could also train martial arts which tend to address this issue more directly (by letting you know how the built-up anger can be controlled in a non-destructive way, which is what I chose eventually). Strange enough, music can also help *a lot*. Get a portable MP3 player and listen to your favorite tunes while you are on your way to work or home.

Answer 3

I have the same problem sometimes. When I manage to keep my calm I actually take the time to acknowledge that I'm getting p!ssed off and think rather than speak. If it gets to a stage that I just feel ready to explode then I just walk out the room and get some space. I always find that once I've calmed down and had a chance to see the situation for what it really is, it's much easier to deal with and I can think rationally. One thing for sure is that I know when it's going to happen and learning to stop at that point is crucial. If you don't acknowledge it when it's happening then you end up hurting people, and yourself. Plus, most of the time it's really not worth getting so stressed about these things. The most valuable lesson I've taught myself is to always ask WHY? Why are you angry? Why has this person said what they have? Why do you give a sh!t? Just apply the WHY to each situation and you'll start to see things clearly. Stepping out of the box makes things a whole lot clearer. It's hard but once you've got the hang of it you'll be a lot happier. Life is too short to be angry all the time. Just laugh things off too! People like to get a reaction and you're falling into their traps. Good luck :)

Answer 4

Perhaps you need to warn those around you that when you are busy and looking stressed, they should leave you alone and come back to you later!

Sometimes, especially if you've got your mind on lots of things, you can't help snapping at people.

Try your best to stop! When you feel yourself getting worked up about things, stop what you are doing if possible and take a breather. Head outside for 5 minutes or sit somewhere and make a list of what you need to do so that it's clear in your head.

When I get stressed this helps me.

Alternatively try to hide away when you're stressed so that no-one can disturb you.

If you still keep snapping at people, make sure your apologies are genuine and I'm sure they'll forgive you. My dad can be quite snappy so I've learned to recognise when he looks like his mind is elsewhere and not to bug him until he's more receptive to conversation!

xx Emmie

Answer 5

How about tackling the problem at source? Why are you so easily stressed? Are there things you can do to make life easier for yourself, or problems you are not addressing? Are there things you can remove from your life that cause you stress?
Also a good way of releasing stress is to acknowledge the stress e.g I am feeling stressed today because... gets rid of the stress before you snap at people.
Massage, aromatherapy, exercise are all good stress relievers, and a good diet helps.

Answer 6

When you feel that snappy feeling come on, start counting very slowly in your head. When you reach thirty assess the situation. If you are still feeling a little stressed keep the count going. People may look at you funny for not reacting, but it is better than hurling out angry words that you can't take back.

Answer 7

that sounds like me I don't know how to control my emotions and i act on impulse... lately Ive been trying to fix that and you need to do the same...when people know that your a walking time bomb the don't want to be bothered...if its some one you care about take time to stop and think about what your gonna say to them before you say it that will help a lot I'm telling you..try it it works...over all calm down life's to short : )

Answer 8

I think that you should think before you say anything that gives you time to think it over.
Or.....
You could explain to your friends/family that your are not in a very good mood and if i snap i'm very sorry i just can'y control this.

Answer 9

get your brain to engage before you mouth off!!
Think of the consequences before you speak - I know thats a lot easier said than done in the spur of the moment - but its the only way to stop yourself doing this!
The old method of counting 1 - 10 helps too!!

xx

Answer 10

I have exactly the same problem......... the slightest thing bugs me and i react screaming and shouting!
Docs put me on Cipralex................very strong pills but came of them asap as you loose your sex drive!!!!! I would rather be a snappy biatch!