gets hurt from rough housing, falling, etc, he bursts into tears like he is 2; yet, if he gets hurt in a basketball or football game, he wont' cry at all. When my our son has these crying episodes, my husband pampers him and makes excuses for his crying - "he is physically hurt" -there is no blood or bruising of course. It drives me crazy! My son will be 11 in a few months and I just feel he is so immature and I feel my husband is contributing to the immaturity. Saying anything to my husband is pointless cause he gets defensive and takes up for our son. I don't have a problem with boys crying when they are truly hurt, but our son cries for EVERYTHING; whether he is truly hurt or not. At 10 he still sucks his thumb and it is frustrating me because as I try to stop the behaviors my husband will say things like, " well I iacted like that when I was a child so I understand" or just something, anything to excuse the behavior. I have grown frustrated and do not know what to do.
2007-05-04 03:12:09 · 7 answers · asked by chocolate_cherub@sbcglobal.net 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have a 10yr old son also and he is a bit of a cryer him self,,, when he get;s mad at school like at the teacher he starts crying and then she tells him to take a minute and compose his self and then it;s back to work..and my son when he;s playing outside ' if he gets a little cut and it;s to the house to get him patched up...mine is starting to get teased at school' as kids don;t cry at school usually unless it;s a big cut......my son does a lot of his on trying to get attention which sounds what yours is going Thur also,,,,take to your husband and explain that by babying him it;s gonna get him teased more at school if he can;t act like he;s 10 and not 10months.....good luck ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
2007-05-04 03:29:41 · answer #1 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I can understand your concern. However, I would say this is normal in many ways. I am a mother of three boys myself, 13, 10 and 5. Im also a trained teacher of both little kids and much older ones.
the thing is he isnt doing this in public. You say he doesnt do it at basketball or football. therefore in public you are not feeling like this, only at home.
Children all grow up at different rates. If you had another son he might be very mature at 10. Also just before they reach puberty often there is a reveral to younger age behaviour. again, normal! Suddenly they are confronted with what is and can seem a very scarey world, with lots more to deal with, more responsibility and so on. he needs to feel love and security in order to grow into a healthy happy pwerson. this is just a cry for this reassurance. In fact I think by being the way you are you might be making him worse, even if you don't think that because he will see Mum saying I should "grow up" when he just wants to be babied a bit!
Children need cuddles. If you can bring yourself to give him a llittle comfort, particularly when he is NOT making a fuss for it then the rest might deminish. eg give him a cuddle when he does well at something, he tidied his room, or whatever. Children need physical comfort and reassurance too.
When he is fussing and you cannot stand it I would remove yourself from the situation if you can. Don't make a big deal. You will make it more of an issue if you do, but just leave the room and let your hubby deal with him. I suggest you talk this over with your husband first though!
He is young still and childhood is positively ripped from kids these days...In the '30s girls still played with dolls at 13! So just take it easy and try not to worry. This will right itself in its own time. every child is different and he is still young.
I would be more worried if you said he was 15!
Puberty sets in earlier these years too and they do get a bit "babyish" just before that...
Just be patient! It will all come right.
good luck!
2007-05-04 11:13:57 · answer #2 · answered by Fiona P19 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like your husband is babying the child when he shouldn't. That will contribute to the child being immature because he is not being forced to grow up. At 10 -11, kids should be able to take bumps, scratches, without all that crying. Sounds like your son does it to get extra attention and if that is true, then you have a situation a child who is manipulative. Someone is going to have to man him up. You are going to have to nip it in the bud cause it does not sound like daddy is going to. If he is not seriously hurt, then you may have to point out to him that all his crying for a minor incident is making him look like a baby.
Seems as though your husband would want the child to be more mature than he is but kids will do only what is expected of them. If you husband is giving into the crying spells, then your son has learned that he can get sympathy from his father for anything.
You may have to be the one and step up to the plate and help you sons maturity along.
Good luck
2007-05-04 10:32:40 · answer #3 · answered by femmenoire@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be patient honey I know its hard. Your husband needs to stop treating him the way he does and treat him like a father would. He sounds like he is acting like the female in the relationship. I have a 3 year old that is turning 4 and my fiance played rough since day 1 with him. Not physically hurting him but play fighting stuff like that he doesn't baby him. My son now can get really hurt and he won't cry that much. Little bumps and bruises he will say oww and thats it. I'm sure your son will grow out of this but your husband needs to help and stop babying him. As for you take a couple days off for yourself and get rid of some of your frustration and then come back for more.
2007-05-04 10:21:50 · answer #4 · answered by Tracy G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really understand your frustration but by commenting on them, making them seem un acceptable or irregular you could harm your son mentally
He will mature when he is ready and a parent can never comfort a kid too much. They dont ask for it if they dont need it and if he cries he is just expressing himself
If its hard for you to find it in yourself to comfort him or deal with his behaviour then let your husband do it
No one ever killed anyone with love but condemnation killed many a mans love for his parent
I know its tough to let your child do what you dont want them to but do you want to risk hurting him?
Maybe if it becomes less of an issue then it might happen less. Id guess every time it happens he gets your attention so Id say thats a good reason to pull back a little and see if it relaxes him. Give hime more of your attention when he is not doing it too...sounds like dealing with a pre schooler I know but trust me my eldest was a bit this way and his Dad hated it
The minute his Dad eased up he needed Mom cuddles less and less and is now as mature and capable as all of his peers and he is now 12
Good luck
2007-05-04 10:18:33 · answer #5 · answered by bbwbabe74 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well try to reason with ur hubby sit down together and tell him how you feel and tell him that the bird will want to fly but wont be ready to, hopefully that'll help good luck
2007-05-04 10:17:59 · answer #6 · answered by Elena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a counselor.
2007-05-04 10:21:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋