2007-05-04 02:20:01 · 10 answers · asked by mdhanddjs 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
they were 4 and 5 years old...pretty much the only thing i did right in my life....having them brought meaning and purpose to my life and now i just feel empty and alone....i have tried counsling...medication...and nothing has seemed to ease the "intrusive thoughts" ....my life has been a disaster since that day. i seem to make awful choices if im able to make them at all....i want some kind of life back....HELP!!!
2007-05-04 02:30:44 · update #1
they were 4 and 5 years old...pretty much the only thing i did right in my life....having them brought meaning and purpose to my life and now i just feel empty and alone....i have tried counsling...medication...and nothing has seemed to ease the "intrusive thoughts" ....my life has been a disaster since that day. i seem to make awful choices if im able to make them at all....i want some kind of life back....HELP!!!
i have been a member of compassionate friends for 6 years...nothing seems to work...i have no money for a real doctor and i am at the end of my rope...i cant take this for much longer
2007-05-04 02:34:06 · update #2
Try Hospice or the Samaritans (phone book)www.samaritans.org Email jo@samaritans.org or http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ Practise one of the relaxation methods at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 2. Make a photo album/scrapbook or shrine in their memory. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Once having expressed your emotions, resolve to only think of them on one day a month: that particular number, and challenge yourself whenever you find yourself doing it at other times - imagine yourself with a pair of scissors, cutting a loop of tape on which those thoughts are playing over and over in your mind. Some people put a wide rubber band around their wrist when they backslide, stretch and release, as a way of reprogramming themselves sooner, then remove it.
2007-05-04 02:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by CLICKHEREx 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know losing someone is very hard I lost my 5 year old brother 3 years ago and things have never been the same but my mother told me something that have always stuck with me and I've nevergiven up, "When you fall down pick your *** up and keep going." For some reason I've never been able to give up. Keep your family that you do close and good friends nearby. You may not have forgotten them but don't let it take over your life because then when you wake up one day you won't have anything I know it seems like that now but if you have other kids don't ignore them or forget them because the others are gone. Embrace them and keep it together. You don't want to find yourself in a hole that you can't get out of. You still have alot of life. If you do fun things think of it as they are enjoying it with youand everything you see they see. Don't be afraid to move on in life and try not to drive the ones that care for you away. Keep your head up.
2007-05-04 10:59:30 · answer #2 · answered by jessica_delarosa06 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. It is very terrible to lose a child.
Can you join a support group of other parents who have lost children? Have you tried counseling? I had a bad reaction to my mother dying unexpectedly, and was on antidepressants for a few years afterwards. I think time helps, and accepting
that sometimes bad things happen and there is no explanation. I write my mom a letter once in a while and tell her what is going on in my life. Sometimes I cry while
writing it, but that is the only time I allow myself to really feel the pain of the loss any more. I can't function in my life if
I am experiencing that pain, so I have to limit it to certain times. You might need to plan times to think about it, and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel for that time.
When the time is up, close the door on the pain until next
planned time. Again, I am so sorry this happened to you and to them.
2007-05-04 09:33:31 · answer #3 · answered by M S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so terribly sorry for you. You have probably already had grief counselling but I think it's good to stick with it. Some people think it's silly but it's great to have someone unbiased to talk to that you can be completely honest with. That's really the only way to stop the flashbacks in my opinion. Be with family today and try to make it a happy day, celebrate the short time that you got to spend with them. Be happy that you were lucky enough to have those boys in your life and let out your tears!
2007-05-04 09:26:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. Have you gotten any counseling?? Sometimes just talking about it helps. There are also bereavement groups you can join. People who have suffered a loss themselves can sometimes put things into a better perspective than those of us who haven't. Call your church (any church) to see what groups they have available. Sometimes groups post meetings in the local newspaper.
In the mean time just focus on all the happy times you had with your boys.
God Bless!
2007-05-04 09:29:54 · answer #5 · answered by pamomof4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm...losing a family or closed loved ones is really tragic and it will be instilled in our memory till our neurons function well
Your long term memory brings the flashbacks the day you had lost your 2 boys....this can be due to certain reasons such as associating things w/ them like you saw their clothings, their pictures in the album, etc.
Since that was 10 years ago...I believe that you had already coped up and moved on w/ your life... and it is really normal to have flashbacks then since those 2 are your boys...
You might consult a psychiatrist if it makes you not to function well or makes you depressed all through out the day
2007-05-04 09:28:09 · answer #6 · answered by Medical Doctor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You love them, they are in a good place and you will see them again. I truly believe your sweet angels are in heaven with God. I hope that is comforting, and I hope you will strive to set your life down a path of righteousness so that when the lord calls you , you will see your children again. I dont believe medication is the anwser. You will always have your memories and your comfort will come from God. I encourage you to pick up your bible and pray you will find comfort.
2007-05-04 10:06:40 · answer #7 · answered by amanda h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my son his friend and girlfriend and his dog died 20 years ago my wife and i and the other 4 children are now not yet ready with this what than occurred. creating things they have liked helped some of us, talking not, going to places where he was happy helps others. You have to find a way making use of your own creativity
2007-05-04 09:57:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend,...devote yourself to Father God, and Jesus,....live for Them, for they promise that you will see your boys again...They are only sleeping, if this is what is bothering you...you will never forget them, day after day, they are part of you that will never leave, nor should they...celebrate their lives, and dream of the day when you will see them again...and try to find other little children, who could take advantage of all of your love, and help them...because for every child that is gone, there are twenty that need a loving parent to nurture them and give them that love you have in your heart, in your boys' name...My prayers are with you, dear..xo
2007-05-04 10:09:42 · answer #9 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe there is to much you can do, i'm sure it was a very traumatic day for you. that will be in your memory forever. My heart breaks for you, what a tragedy you had to endure.
2007-05-04 09:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by shorty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋