I was recently invited to a friends wedding. It was sort of a last minute invite as he and I had lost touch for a while. Unfortunately, I am currently going through a bit of a financial rough spot. I don't want to miss the wedding as we had been close friends for a long time ... but I don't have the money for a gift. What do I do?
2007-05-03 23:35:02 · 12 answers · asked by chriswanamaker 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
How about a service?
Helping them move? Mowing their lawn? Painting their house? Cleaning?
I'd rather have some help rather than another dust sucking piece of sh+t.
2007-05-04 06:10:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a cashflow problem that will be solved someday but your friend get's married only once (hopefully) Don't let a small thing deter you from being there for your friend.
Go anyway. Buy a card. In the card write a personal note to them with sincere congratulations and tell them you will send them a present later on - when finances are better. Thank them for inviting you. At the end of the day, the invited you because you mean something to them and they want to share their special day with you. The fact that you buy them a toaster is secondary (at least that's how it should be)
Another option is to find a mutual friend who is going to the wedding and ask him/her if you can present a gift "from both of us" With this option you can either let the friend do the spending on the gift or you can have the friend spend on it now with the understanding that you will pay your half of the gift back to him later. This is a sort of a loan.
Finally, weddings are wonderful networking opportunities. Who knows, you could meet someone who offers you a job or has some ideas on how you can make more money. When we are low on cash, the natural thing to do is to be ashamed and hide from people. Doing so, actually makes the problem worse because you are denying yourself the opportunity to network your way into a better spot. Isolation only makes problems worse.
Go and enjoy!
Say something nice to them on the videotape. In the end, they will not remember your gift came 3 months after the wedding.
2007-05-04 01:04:37 · answer #2 · answered by extraordinareality 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are several approaches you can take... one is to skip the gift and just give them a card expressing congratulations. If your financial rough patch is temporary, you could send a gift at a later date (in a month or so), but if you have a little $$ to spare and if you know others who are attending the wedding, you could probably go in on a group gift. Another approach would be to make a donation to a charity your friend supports in honor of his marriage - they don't disclose the amount in the notification.
If this person is truly a good friend, you were invited because he wants you there to share the day. While gifts are customary, they aren't (or at least shouldn't be) the reason you were invited.
2007-05-04 01:24:34 · answer #3 · answered by Jane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Generally, it is acceptable to bring a gift to the reception unless it is a "destination wedding." At most weddings I have attended, a gift table was provided at the reception and the couple either opened gifts at the reception or went to a house with family and close friends to open the gifts. The family of the bride or groom should handle keeping the gifts for the couple until they return from their honeymoon, if the couple is leaving immediately following the festivities. Since you haven't given the gift, I would say that it's not too late. I am certain they would still welcome your thoughtfulness in helping them to settle into their new life. You could either deliver the gift personally to the couple or send it by mail, at this point.
2016-05-20 02:36:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm. You could go to Big Lots and get a nice looking picture frame for just $2-$3 that they could put a wedding photo in or If that is out of your budget, you could just make them a nice card and write a few good memories that you have of him along with your wishes for a long and happy life together. It's not about the gifts, it's about the friends.
2007-05-03 23:49:18 · answer #5 · answered by CleoCATra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can u get something small? My advice is to check their registry and see if there is something there that you may be able to afford. If not, just give them an amout of money that you can afford. If all else fails, talk to your friend and let him know the situation. I'm sure he'll understand and if he truelly wants you at the wedding then he will definatelly not mind. When you talk to him offer to get them a gift when you are in a better situation. Still, if you can't, you can't and he will have to understand, if he doesn't understand then you really should not be attending this wedding.
2007-05-04 05:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by bubles4198 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buy a dollar store card, write a little something inside for the happy couple, and stick a piece of tape on the card and as you walk by the presents stick your card on a gift (take other card off gift, noone is the wiser lol! just kidding!!
i like the idea of going in on a group present for a big gift. however if you can scrounge up some cash buy them something yourself.
2007-05-04 01:42:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is the thought that counts....
Find out if they have put up a WISH LIST. If yes, then see if there's something that you can buy from that list... I have usually found that there's always something of lesser value that you can always find on the list to buy... I have come across Tea-cozies, glass tumblers etc which one can purchase cheaply from pound/dollar stores.
Otherwise, you can always give him a nice card with an IOU note written inside to be redeemed by your friend when your financial scenario permits...
Trust me... it he's that good a friend... he will surely understand your dilemma.
2007-05-04 00:16:56 · answer #8 · answered by Busy Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give them a card.
You are not required to give a gift.
You could always give them a nice one year anniversary gift to make up for not getting a gift for the wedding.
If he is a good friend he will not hold this against you.
2007-05-04 00:41:06 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
buy a nice card and go to the wedding. gift is optional, and can be given to the happy couple later on
2007-05-04 02:52:51 · answer #10 · answered by georgiagrits1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋