OK the story starts like this..10 years ago my ex and i moved in together. It has been an on again, off again relationship, but he is a great guy. I love him and he says that he loves me. He is there for me financially if i need him. He is wonderful with my kids, we don't have any together, but he is always there for them. So what is the problem then....well he does not work and likes to..well you know... street hustle. I have since gave my life to the Lord and wanting to live a Christan life. About 3 months ago he told me that he is ready to come home and I told him no. I told him that i want him to get a job and better himself. Well since then he has moved in with another chick but swears that there is nothing going on between them.
I told him that I do not like it but he is like..you told me that you didn't want me to move back in with you. Now i want him to move out of this chicks house but i am not sure if i want him to move back in with me. At least not unless we r married.
2007-05-03 18:00:34 · 12 answers · asked by Ga's Peach 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i went through this same situation. explain to him that you love him but you turned your life over to the lord. tell him that you want to share this new life of yours with him. tell him that you are not going to tell him you can't live without him, because you can with god's help but you would rather not have to. Tell him you trust him and believe there is nothing going on between him and the woman he lives with and you understand why he is living there. then ask him to show you how much he loves you and get his own place so you guys can start planing your new life together with no interfearances.
in the mean time talk to the woman he lives with. go to her as a woman not as the other woman. most woman will respect you for this and will be honest with you. you may find out this guy is not right for you or you may find out he is the right one for you.
but in my experience men that are street hustlers are not just hustling on the streets but also in the bedroom. when you guys are arguing does he just get up and leave and stay gone all night? if so do you know for sure where he went? ask yourself real hard is all the tears worth it. sometimes if you love them enough you have to let them go.
2007-05-03 18:46:23 · answer #1 · answered by adk_in_ar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you set the boundaries at get a job and better yourself, stick to them why would you marry a guy that you dont know will be around in six months could be in jail shot whatever and as far as the other girl if he isnt willing to work he is her problem you dont want your kids to grow up to street hustle
2007-05-04 01:06:26 · answer #2 · answered by john s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had to learn after 15 yrs. of marriage, and a divorce of 4 years..that anytime a man has any other women in his life..and it is on and off again..won't work. Is that really how you picture you "Happily Ever After"? You deserve to have someone who is always there for you and will always be there..through the good and the bad..that is what a marriage is about. If your lifestyle has changed and you live by the lord, you need to realize that having a man that loves you enough to cherish your wants and needs both... is essential. My grandmother was a christian woman whom I have gotten my view on marriage from. My grandfather passed away and she loved him so much..she refused to even think of another man for 35 years until she finally passed away. She knew that he was waiting for her in heaven...now is that true love or what? I have the same standards for love and you should too. Don't settle for less than you need Hun...there is a man out there who will appreciate you for what you have to offer him. Good luck to you!
2007-05-04 01:11:03 · answer #3 · answered by buggie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok. So.
I say, "street hustling" does not make him a bad person. But, if he was to get caught in YOUR house doing this, you would def. be affected, and so would your children.
I completely agree he needs to get a job first, it isnt hard to get a job, even a low paying one for now. But he needs to prove he is putting in the effort.
I would not trust him living with some other girl. If he is going to throw that in your face, about you not letting him move in, so he is living with some other girl, thats messed up. You arent just trying to be mean to him by not letting him move back in, you're trying to better him for him, and your family.
He needs to get his things in order before coming into your family again.
Honestly, until he moves out from wherever hes living with this girl, I wouldnt give him too much. If he does find somewhere else to stay, then he needs to get a job and stop the OTHER job before you let him into your home.
Best of luck to you!! Good job standing up for yourself and your family, stick with it!
2007-05-04 01:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by bridgetsmomma621 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what are you doin girl? you know he will never change, its been 10 years. hes a great guy but hes a street hustler? not the kind of man that needs to be around your kids, and if you want to have to take care of someone else besides your kids, then go for it. you sound like a nice person, find someone that will have an equal partnership with you, not someone that is just there to use you.
2007-05-04 01:07:38 · answer #5 · answered by lisa k 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all why would you want someone to move with you
if you are not marry to him especially since you and he are
back and forth that not good. and the fact that he with some
other girl and he want to come home to you. you need to
let him go and find someone that will give you what you
need. this is not good for you and the children. why do you
think he will ever respect you if you allow this to happen;/
you can have both way. it should be all or nothing.
2007-05-04 01:08:34 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men dont love you just want you to feed them and sex to them . I met one before who was 12 yrs younger than me , the situation was the same , move on, if can find an other one.
2007-05-04 01:22:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is involved with the other girl. You are better off without him. You can't fix him, and getting married to a street hustler will be a huge mistake.
2007-05-04 01:18:06 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Instantkarma♥♫ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK fist yo make mind set weather you like it or not.I cant say he will faith ful to you.if you both discuss and sortout yourself.since u hav given urlife to god you are capable to forgive others.
2007-05-04 01:13:49 · answer #9 · answered by sammy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't marry the guy, until he starts to make a "future" for himself you'll either have to be content supporting his dumb a.. or he will bring you down with him... i'm not saying ppl can't change, i'm just saying if you "enable" him he won't change
2007-05-04 01:04:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋