My Quirky Neighbors....What should I do?

Question

Hello All.

I live in a flat in downtown. I am normally a very private person but the neighbors don't seem to understand this. They insist on stopping by to "say hi."

Others ask me for personal advice when I don't even know their names. One knocked om my door in the middle of the night crying because of some fight she had with her daughter. I am not inconsiderate so I listened and offered some helpful advice about the matter. Now, she comes to me with all of her problems.

I have some how become the "go-to" chick for everyone around me. I don't want this responsibility. Please help me change this situation so I can have my life back.

Answer 1

easy, stop opening your door when someone knocks

Answer 2

My 4-H chief develop into very quirky. She develop into perchance between the only human beings i have ever met who really did not care what absolutely everyone else theory, and she might want to be very strict with some human beings and yet she develop into definitely a really solid to the bone man or woman. She develop into round 50 or 60 i imagine, demanding to inform precisely from many years contained in the solar. Her legs were as bowlegged as someone i have ever considered, and she loved ponies, exceptionally POA's. She develop into only about 5'2 i think, and fairly skinny and wiry, and she might want to vacation those 11-14 hand ponies round a selfmade bounce direction like no body's employer. She might want to be very strict, yet to boot fairly cared about youngsters and animals and donated hours and hours of time and a range of of alternative horses to a healing driving application each week. She also continuously had an enticing type of dogs operating round, regularly which incorporates some jack russells, a wide rottweiler, and a range of of alternative mixes. demanding to describe precisely why she develop into quirky in case you've not met her.. great question!

Answer 3

I had a similar situation. It goes from bad to worse, because you can give people all you possibly can but everyone has a limit to what they can do. It is inevitable that some day you will have to tell them no. And that is when it gets ugly.
So the one day you can't do what they want or loan them what they need suddenly they get mad at you. After 2 years of it I just told my mooching neighbors not to come to me for anything anymore and now they just hate me. I mean they hate me vehemently.

If I had just said NO from the beginning they wouldn't hate me. The more I gave the more they expected. If I had not allowed them to develop false expectations and a false sense of entitlement, they wouldn't hate me.

The sooner you stop it the less they hate you. The more you bend over and help them, the more money you give them, the more hours you spend doing stuff for them...the more they hate you in the end when you finally say no. Once they have a false sense of entitlement and false expectations to have their needs met by you, they will hate you every time you can't do it all.

It is illogical, but it works that way. Nip it in the bud. Now.

Answer 4

The same thing happens to my cousin. I suspect it is because you are a nice person that people feel that they can talk to. You are going to have to start speaking up when they take advantage of you like this. Just say something like I'd love to talk but I am really tired right now and I have to get up early. Or I have to run an errand or you have a headache. Just keep thinking of excuses until they get the hint that you aren't Dear Abby.

Answer 5

Sorry sweetie, you're destined... it's in the stars...
You're obviously a care taker, not just any caretaker. Alas one with a head on their shoulders and the tweaking abilities to make a quick study, with a workable solution.
Yeah, I know... it's tough being at the top. For you, it's a natural factor of your life ~ and everybody elses!
Good Luck with that!

Answer 6

Hmm. People just stopping by without any encouragement from you. That's weird. In fact, the scenario you described is unbelievable. Don't answer the door. Don't be so available.
Set some boundaries. Get it?

Answer 7

The price you pay for living in the city, and I
suggest that you move
to a small town like I am living in otherwise you
are stuck sweety
or you can take your door and fortify it bullet proof
and bomb proof

Answer 8

unless you want to burn a bunch of bridges (kiss borrowing a cup of flour goodbye, ditto picking up your mail when you go out of town, signing for packages or feeding your dachshund), i'd just not answer the door when you don't feel like it.

should they confront you later about "not being there for them" make up an excuse. you fell asleep in front of the TV (that's why it was on), you were trying to dodge an annoying neighbor (not them of course, just make something up)

point is, you can dismiss them, but don't do it in a mean way. suggest others, deflect.

Answer 9

1. stop opening your door every time someone knocks.

2. say "I am sorry to hear that but I don't know what to tell you"

3. "sorry but I'm busy right now, bye!"

Answer 10

Explain to them honestly and kindly that you're flattered they value your opinion, but you're simply not comfortable getting involved. That's all you can really do, and you're certainly not required to explain yourself. But be nice about it, you do still have to live around these people. If worst comes to worst, move! (But what a hassle. Just be kind.)
Good luck!

Answer 11

You are probably projecting your own problems onto these other people. I think you should examine what's going on in your life that's making you feel like a target for other people's problems. therein lies the solution. Ask yourself,"Am I qualified to answer these questions?" Also, "How does it make me feel when people ask me these things?" Is it empowering to you? Maybe you are subconsciously wanting people to come to you for help.