Needed: Fellow Christians. What should I do?

Question

Mom and I have been bumping heads. It's time for me to move out. Do you have any suggestions? Scripture references would be appreciated also. How do I get prepared financially? I'm a college student; where is a good Christian college I can grow in AND live in a dorm? I don't feel like I can talk to Mom about anything -- she doesn't like my opinions, ideas, hobbies etc. Her solution is to try to get me to be more like her. When I put my foot down I'm threatened with losing my place to live.... Well, from the looks of things I just need advice on EVERYTHING. Interpersonal skills, job search, home search, motivation, spiritual matters, you name it I need it. My life has come to its proverbial crossroads, and I have no means of transportation. God bless you all.
-- Danielle

Answer 1

*Is Catholic*

Most universities require you to live in a dorm if you are a Frosh. or a Soph. It is, however, more expensive to on campus than off campus. You will have to live off campus if you are planning on not going home over the summer.

A Christian college is not a guarantee of a good college. Go to a college that will help you out with life especially your career. The actually on campus spiritual resources are more important than if the college uses a Christian name.

Undergrad at private universities runs around 20k per year( not including summer) tuition room and board. At State Schools and local colleges, it is much less but varies perhaps 12k per year. If you have good grades you can get scholarships to cut down on that. Your FAFSA (apply for that now) can net you around 10k per year in loans. If you work part time you can pull around $500 a month from a low paying student Job or 5k a year. If you work a high paying summer job long hours, you can earn several K a summer.

So it is possible to work your way through school even if your parents give you nothing. Just cut down on your expenses (particularly don't go to a university where you need a car and buy the store brand of food and don't buy a thing that isn't on sale)

With bible verses, don't quote scripture at people, especially if they are angry at you. Makes it worse.

I do not know your situation, so I cannot give you advice.

For getting plugged into spiritual life on universities look at
www.focusonline.org/ and
www.cardinalnewmansociety.org/

Answer 2

Danielle, first of all, every parent wants to protect their child. When our oldest was going to college, it was very hard, it didn't get easier as the rest left either. You need to show her that you are responsible, get yourself a budget, a plan, write it all down, and set down and have a meeting about it. Ask her for her opinions and suggestions, she probably has lots. If what she says makes good sense, is biblical, and you can live with it, great. If not, kindly and lovingly tell her how much you appreciate everything she has done, and all the help she is giving you, and that you will sleep on her suggestions and let her know. When it is time to go against her wishes, do it with respect. If you are old enough to go to college, you should be old enough to figure out how to get a job, a dorm, and learn to socialize in a Christlike manner. Do you have a youth pastor you can talk with? If not, get plugged into a church that you can enjoy, learn and worship at. It is vital to be fed,
Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.
You are looking, and asking, now start walking towards a good church that can enrich you with all that you are searching for. I don't know where you are located, but there are always excellent churches, if you don't already have one... God's love upon you!

Answer 3

I suggest that the first thing you do is pray. As the old time gospel song goes, "take everything to God in prayer."

From your description of the situation, you are in the ages old dilemma all people have had to deal with in one way or another. That info doesn't help much, but understand that it is not the end of the world, but the end of one lifestyle, and the beginning of another. You will survive. This is just the first of many decisions you will face in your adult life.

I also suggest you seek the guidance of the youth leaders at your church. They, and the older, more experienced college aged people there can give you a more intimate and detailed answer to these questions.

To generally answer a couple of them, an in-state college will cost less than an out-of-state one. You don't say what state you are in, so that is all I can offer on that.

Bus fares are economical and environmentally friendly, plus by taking the bus you don't add to traffic congestion. That, and the added cost of fuel, insurance and maintenance of a car... the bus works great. And some municipalities have student programs that will get you a discounted rate.

And finally, you are like your mother. You just don't realize that yet. :-)

Answer 4

Welcome to the real world!
Come join in the fun..........

We are to respect our mothers and fathers. Respecting our parents is a lot different than subjecting ourselves to the cloning process. We all have our lives to live and the
freedoms that are inherent at birth should not, within reason,
be infringed upon. As an example: What if any of the Prophets, had succumb to the cloning attempts of possibly misguided parents, not to say they were. Some people say that the heart is deceitful, yet there is a vibration that comes through the heart that emanates from God that constantly gives us insights as to what we should do in a particular circumstance. Therefore I say, trust your "heart". Parents that truly love their children will forgive
them if they make a mistake, as well as congratulate them when they have made a correct choice, that the parent was not aware of as the right choice for the child.
The middle two letters of the word life are "if"....which in my
way of thinking, basically, means "Decisions". If I would have done this, or if I had done that. If you are prepared to leave the nest then do so. If you are not ready to leave, then don't.
Test the water, away from home. Remember, "Can't never did anything"
I don't know your situation at your home, so proceed with caution.
May God be with you...........

Answer 5

Well, I guess I would first want to know how old you are. If you are old enough and mature enough to live responsably and take care care of yourself perhaps this could be a great blessing. It is not easy though, there are a lot of things to consider. But, you can always no if it's right by prayer. Go to your Father in Heaven, explain to Him what has been going on and that you have made this decision. Then ask Him if it is right. If it is, you will feel peace throughout you. If it is wrong, you will feel confused, doubtful, not able to visualize it. Take it up with Him. If He tells you it's a go, then YOU GO! God bless you...stay true.

Answer 6

It sounds like you are on the correct path. I can't give you financial advice but I will tell you to follow your heart.
Search the Internet for Christian Colleges and research them individually till you find what you are looking for. You can contact the financial office at said university to find out more about tuition.
Make sure you are attending college to learn and not just to get away from your problems at home.
Remember you control your own thoughts, so always think positive. It is hard to be depressed or upset when you are thinking happy thoughts.

Answer 7

I guess, as a Christian, my first response is this: pray about it. If you feel like the Lord is leading you to move out of your parent's home, and your decision will glorify Him, then go for it. If you're simply looking for someone to give you that extra boost of confidence and send you on your way, then the internet isn't the best place for that. None of us knows your personal situation, your mom, your habits, dreams, aspirations, or what you're capable of. I suggest sitting down with a close friend, preferably one who is a Christian if you are indeed seeking Godly advice, and lay it out for them. Get their opinion on the matter. Then you should talk to your mom. As the first responder said, we are supposed to honor our fathers and mothers; this includes when we leave their homes they've so graciously extended to us for the first 18 years of our lives.
I don't know how old you are, but please note, the advice I offer doesn't apply if you are younger than 18 years old AND in high school. If you are still in high school and under 18 (or even if you are 18+ and still in H.S.) then I advise you to stick it out. This is a typical stage that the majority of teenagers go through with their parents. Trust me, they know more than we ever did at that age. I hope you have good parents who love you. Hang in there.

Answer 8

Hi Danielle :) Read the New Testament. All of the chapters are good. Also, talk to your mom. I know, it is hard, because you feel as though she doesn't understand you. But she really does Danielle. Just give her a chance. Be honest with her. Confess your sins, don't be ashamed. Tell her how you feel. She loves you so much Danielle, just give her that chance. She will understand. Pray Danielle. Pray that the Lord cover you with his blanket of grace and mercy and love so soft that you can rest in stillness upon it. God bless you.

Answer 9

Joyride's over, huh? Welcome to the real world. It's natural for a parent to expect their child to be just like them, because usually they want their child to follow in their footsteps, but exceed in life beyond what they themselves were capable of. My suggestion? Get your priorities straight first. Get a job while you still enjoy the comfort of your parents' home (that's right, work your way through spring break at a McDonald's or something) - save up at least enough for an old jalopy and 1st months rent. Think of your life as an adventure from there. -why do you need to live in the dorm? Get your own apartment. I work in the hotel industry, we don't make much - and there's plenty of people who work there, on top of another job, family (wife and a baby), and college. It's possible - but you have to WORK HARD!!!!
But then, if your priorities are your boyfriend and your x-box, and school and Jesus are excuses, you're not going to make it too far.

Answer 10

There are many good Christian colleges, just do a google on them. There is Liberty University where you can live in a dorm.
You can also go to a college and find a roomie to share rent if you go that route.