Please help girlfriend problem?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other now for a good two years. Lately it's been nothing but fight, after fight, after fight. We decided to take a break from each other and she started seeing someone else. She called me up one night about a week ago and told me she wanted to break up and start a relationship with this other guy. I was a bit shocked and very upset. Well... Apparently, that other guy had no interest in her lead her on and then dumped her about two days later.

It hurt me and I wasn't sure i wanted much to do with her anymore. She came to my house that night crying hysterically. I know she did not like the guy she dumped me for that much. She told me things were a bit awkward and she had plans on dumping him anyways. (weird) But anyways she came to me crying hysterically asking me to take her back. At that time I really wanted to work things out with her I love her i truley do.

Recently though, I've thought about our relationship and to be honest (be cont.)

To be 100% honest...I'm not sure if this is fixable. I have not by any means treated her the way a boyfriend should treat there girlfriend and thus was one of the reason she dumped me. I realize my faults but I can't really help it. It's just me.

I really enjoyed being single and not having her phone me every single minute of every single waking hour! I enjoyed having time with the guys and being able to go to bars and such. I have not been single in two years.

I explained all of this to her and told her we should just be best friends. She started crying and yelling at me. My girlfriend is depressed and going through a VERY VERY VERY difficult time right now in her life and I see it. It makes me feel awful. I still wanted to be friends with her I truley did.

Well, She showed up at my work tonight after I got off and was crying again in her car telling me she made a mistake and should have never seen that other guy. I took her back and i constantly do this just because (cont.)

I don't want to see her hurt anymore then she already is at this point in her life. She keeps telling me and saying she only HONESTLY wants what's best for me and I'm not sure what I want at this time.

I haven't been the best and she has taken me back on many occasions in which most women would have dumped me and kicked me to the curb.

PLEASE any advice would help!
i love this girl I do but i need time and I've tried to explain that but i just I'm so confused!!!

Answer 1

If you take her back after she dumped you for someone else, you deserve all the crap you'll get! The bull she fed you?? Come on, get real, you're not that stupid are you?

Answer 2

A few things to consider - things weren't great. Instead of deciding to work to fix them together, you decided to take a break. Not a good sign. You should not have any issues with her seeing someone else - sure it hurts, but technically you were on hiatus from each other. I don't believe in taking a break - you are either together or not. It appears that this girl cannot be on her own and needs to have a boyfriend at all times. Not healthy. You are the last person on earth she should've come to when she got dumped. How do you know she "did not like the guy she dumped me for"??? Did she tell you that after getting dumped and crying on your shoulder? It sounds like you are more at peace with your life without her being a major part of it - pay attention to your feelings on this. DO NOT stay with her out of obligation i.e. she stayed with you through rough times, etc. I'm sure you have done some wonderful things for her too, so forget that (I think putting up with her whining about another guy is more than most guys would've done). It sounds like this relationship is stale and pretty much over, and that you are both hanging on for the wrong reasons.

Answer 3

The issue as I see it is that you are dealing with a very self centered person. This is not to say she isn't capable of being loving and caring towards others. You already acknowledged that. Yet, there are tell-tell signs that she acts out selfishly when it concerns her wants and emotions over the wants and emotions of others.

She does sound depressed. And she is obviously acting out irrationally and desperately. It also sounds like she would have continued the new relationship had the other person pursued it further. So in essence, she was rebounding off a rebound. In anyone's relationship book that's not a healthy sign.

You expressed to her at one point your wanting to be single. She didn't like that answer and decided to act out in a display of emotion, which obviously burns you and causes you to retract your initial plan. This is extremely selfish on her part. In the wake of her own pain, she is disregarding yours.

I so do know how hard it is to watch someone you truly love stumble and fall, especially if you feel you played a role in that. But my friend, this is not something that's in your control. There is no control over past events.

She is her own person, with her own set of life-lessons that you must be careful not to shield her from all the time. No one is immune and we all go through our own personal hardships.

I recommend you love her from a distance. She's in a messed up place right now because she is letting her emotions get the best of her.

Don't battle with your own feelings of guilt for not treating her the way you felt was right. What's done is done. But the cycle of hurt has to end at some point so time can begin do it's healing process. So the greatest statement of love you can give her and yourself is to let this one go for now.

Continue to be a friend and offer your support. But continuing a failed intimate relationship is probably not the best action of choice as she is not in that place.

I think you already understand this. I think you just needed a little reassurance and insight.

I hope this helps. It's a tough situation. Face it and tomorrow will be a new day of healing.

Answer 4

Several things. She seems too imature to be making lasting commitments, and you seem too young and having fun to settle down yet into a serious relationship.

You both need to discuss what you get out of the relationship. Look at the positive and negative things you feel about each other and be honest. She needs to select you after she finds out what she likes, what she feels and who she wants to be once she grows up. This growing up needs to be without each other and with each other. You cannot be in a good team relationship if either of you is soley tied to this relationship and not to them being a better person and eventually a better person is worth keeping forever. Suggest she needs to expand her horizons and not concentrate on calling and keeping you as oppsoed to you both wanting each other. You are not a toy or a possession. People that treat relationships as posessions are jeolous, overly sensitive never trusting and not really someone to choose to spend the rest of your life with. They will never believe you love them....there is always risk. Good luck.

Answer 5

Hi, well if me and my man were to have a break from each other and he did that to me. I would feel like you do right now. She hurt you and then he goes and hurts her and she comes crying to you, that is so Jerry Springer. I don't know what your going to do but after that disrespect my man wouldn't get the time of day.

Come crying to me over another girl. LIKE HELL!!!!

Cheers.

Answer 6

sweetie don't let her waste your time i was with my ex for 9 years and he do that to me and i let him and in the end you will always end up hurt. they always come back when they are done with the other person hoping you will want them back. take it from a pro let her be and move on. you know the saying if u love her let her go... IT'S TRUE!!!!

Answer 7

4 the nex 4 weeks make sure u practice safe sex otherwise she will blame the baby on u, she could of got pregnant with the other man!!!

Answer 8

Look inside yourself and find the answer

Answer 9

Seems pretty complicated. good luck dude.