When my bf and I go out, he gets a little moody when I pay for things. This usually happens when he mentions he's strapped for cash so I tell him that I'll pay. I don't see the big deal, it's not happening every time and I don't seem him as any less of a "man" because of it.
2007-05-03 14:15:47 · 8 answers · asked by Nay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Being a guy, I have some inside information.
This behavior stems from the cave-man days. Men would go out, hunt for the food and return with it to their women.
Growing up, guys are taught to be providers later on in life. We're taught to look out for our wives/girlfriends etc. Your BF paying for meals is probably his way of doing so. If it does cause a problem, try talking to him honestly.
The male mind is a complex thing. He obviously feels a stab to his ego if he cannot provide for you.
All the best.
2007-05-03 14:23:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When she offers to pay I usually give her the typical Virgo response, "Oh that's okay, you don't have to do that". But then she gives me her Pisces response of, "But I want to". Which quickly is followed by, "Okay". It's generally uncomplicated.
It's really not a big deal. I think it's great when a woman offers to pay. It tells me she truly sees men and women as equal contributors which in a deeper sense gives me a good indication of the level of empathy in her character.
I realize there are men that get offended by it. He would be better served to understand that his refusal to let you pay is actually a statement that woman are weak and incapable of calling the shots. Remind him that you are not a child, but a responsible adult and a caring person to his needs. Remind him that it makes you feel good and confident knowing that you can front the bill too.
Egos are the toughest habit to break. I hope this offers some insight.
2007-05-03 21:28:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are taught that a man should always pay for the one he loves. We are taught that it is our responsibility to do such, But have you told your boyfriend that you are OK with this and that YOU don't see him as any less of a man because of it?
He's the one you really need to tell this too. He needs to know that the woman he loves won't think any less of him.. Women aren't the only ones who need support and understanding. ( EVEN if they won't admit it.) Best of luck..
2007-05-03 21:27:31 · answer #3 · answered by master_escrimador 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because it's a blow to his ego. You have money, he doesn't. Even though you mean well, your guy was probably brought up with the traditional role of what men do imprinted on him, and it's like you are wandering into that territory...it's threatening. If it means that much to him...tell him next time you could really go for a burger.
2007-05-03 21:22:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the old world feeling that the man has to pay for everything and if he doesn't then he's less of a man
2007-05-03 21:18:39 · answer #5 · answered by zen522 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well he's pride is showing but not really because if it did he would tell you lets not go today but when I have money to pay. But since he wanted to eat he went. I don't find it a bit uncomfortable if a woman wants to pay for my meal. As long as she doesn't have to pay for all of them. But it woudl look cool, especially when the guys see you and they think wish I could do that.
2007-05-03 21:20:48 · answer #6 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats a good thing provided it doesn't cause an arguement...because he feels that he isn't being the man he feels he should be....which isn't true, just tell him to make it up to you in other ways...that will make it a win win situation.
2007-05-03 21:21:27 · answer #7 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him to grow up, if he has a problem with you paying .them Why does he go.
2007-05-03 21:19:38 · answer #8 · answered by easymoney 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋