Attention STUBBORN and EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE men!!!!!!?

Question

I need to know honestly. When u and your significant other fight, even to the point of separation, do u just forget about her or do u actually care for her but are unwilling or unable to express your feelings?

And....for those men who feel the need to say mean things to their women.......do u mean the things u say or are u actually hurting inside and just say them so u can hurt your woman too?

I have alot riding on this. My ex bf has attempted to make contact and I need to know exactly what I am dealing with.
Explain to me the complex way a man of such stubborness thinks?
I cant figure it out......I need your help to see what hes trying to say and do and to understand him a little better. He is unable to tell me because he is the one involved.
However, someone who can remain anonymous, I am hoping will spill their guts and let us girls in on some of the things that will help us to understand your ways a little better.
Thanks men!!!!!!

Answer 1

kinda a tricky question. if they married u, or your engaged, (and not because pregnancy, or anything else) he is definetly thinking of u, if u have spent alot of time together, he is definetly thinking of u. sometimes u gurls put too much on our shoulders, not really all u, u are just the bit that hits the last nerve, most times we dont mean what we say, half the time we dont even think about what we say, if he appologizes for it, u know he didnt mean it, it just kinda slipped out. but if u hear him complaining about something more than once in a short period of time, he might just rele be thinking that. when guys get pissed, we just want away from u, and dont care how we get there, and after we get a second to think about it, after we have chilled out, then we really feel like ****. honestly. um i think that wraps it up

Answer 2

Man do I have a hard time expressing themselves to a woman's standard. And most of the time, the lashing back, because they too are hurting. But guys hurt different than a woman does. And it's hard to explain on this. Everybody is going to have disagreements. You cannot put two different people together, without there being a disagreement it's how both of you handle the disagreement that states whether the relationship will make it or not. If you bold act like children. They just call it quits now, a person or couple can have disagreements without the fists flying or someone storming out of the house

Answer 3

the stubborn ones wouldn't be answering this btw.

for the first part - impossible to answer since each person is different. if he wanted you for your body - then he will probably forget about you and move on. if he want's you for you - he might not be able to express himself to the satisfaction level you expect him to perform at. it all depends on the arguement.

as far as mean things go - it all depends. do you say them to him? it might be a backlash from that then. a defense. otherwise it's a childish act so they feel like they won something even if the havn't.

stubborn is as stubborn does. and you were attracted to him in some way - you could be just as stubborn - and it all depends on why you broke up. so it makes it hard to really know your question - and you won't get stubborn people answering here - because chances are he doesn't know how to express his emotions properly - because he doesn't know how to deal with them. he might not even know how to explain what he feels.

Answer 4

When you get in really big nasty fights, sometimes you can say things really mean and not really mean it. It happens all the time. I used to be like that and my women made me talk about it. It took her awhile for me to do it, but I did it. You always care even when you are fighting. When you get mad you just say and do things without even thinking about it. You should just talk to each other and figure it out. He might have a hard time expressing how he feels. You just have to talk to him. Dont let him go.

Answer 5

The societal expectation is that men are the providers, the defenders, the emotionally stoic and physically brute.
When we cry or reveal other emotions, we are assumed to be weak, both by other men and by women. When we are hurting, we may tend to say things that are hurtful and exaggerated.
However, men tend to forgive more readily than women. We won't hold a grudge in most cases. But this is what I believe. All of us are born different. Do what your logic dictates.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Answer 6

Men always care. For how long is another question.

Men choose not to express feelings, unless we actually want you to know. There are consequenses to this.

Men can often blurt out things we really don't believe in the heat of an argument. Men often regret these outbursts immediately after they happen, but you would never know (we may not be sharing our feelings with you.)

Men are usually stubborn, because we can get away with it. You know you are a special person, when you never see that stubborness.

I'm here to help.

Answer 7

We'll forget about you if we find a rebound girl, if not, we don't stop caring, unless you aren't worth caring about.
Saying mean things could be attributed to many things, perhaps we're mad because you danced on the table topless at that party at so and so's house.

Answer 8

I'd say seek counselling....both of you you probably won't find the answer here..this place is full of weirdos most with nothing better to do..but then again there just might be someone genuine.. good luck.

Answer 9

of course we always do care. if we moved on with our life without you in the picture doesnt mean we dont care about you. when we say mean things to women yes youre right, were hurting inside but we mean waht we say.

Answer 10

it really depends on the guy, but for me... i would always care for any girl i liked.... about being mean??? uhh thats a littel childish if they really liked u, or maybe their just immature. Most guys like me hide their feeling inside but really feel much care and love.