Does Home Depot sell Rapture Preparation Kits (RPK)'s?

Question

What do they have? Some Holy Water? A pack of gum? Some dried figs?

Answer 1

the SRPK's (Squirrel rapture prep kits) have acorns, nuts, and I hear they are now including some wine and xanax as well.

Answer 2

This is so sad that you would think you need a kit like that. God is offering you a gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. It is yours to take for FREE! When the rapture comes I will not need a kit, as I will be raptured and forever with the Lord. The 7 year tribulation is going to be the worse that mankind has ever seen. I doubt any kit will help. The only thing that will be available for survival is the microchip (mark of the beast). Once you take this mark you are done forever! There is no turning back! Also this mark is only good for 7 years. After that it is forever in the lake of fire. Is this the way you really want to spend eternity?

Answer 3

Pastor Billy says: how I like this lol. You forgot the parachute for the building jumpers who think they've caught their cloud but quickly realise it's going to rain instead.

Subtract the holy water only Catholics (who don't believe in the rapture) have that and they use it for exorcism something fundamentalist-dispensationalist pastors could use but don't enjoy calling out for a priest.

"Can I now get an, Amen?"

For all those poor souls who have caught the novelity of rapture doctrine, it is less than 200 years old and uses biblical verses as support which when taken in context explain those who are left [behind] will be raised up to the clouds to meet Christ upon ...the last day and his second coming. There is no rapture, not 1000 years before the last day, not the last day before the last day, but only on the last day will you float on clouds partner.

my bumper sticker reads, "in case of rapture, leave me behind"

Answer 4

Maybe I could be a Rapture consultant (much like a Y2K consultant). I could go around and help people get rid of their earthly possesions, have a heaven checklist so they can be perfect to go to heaven. For those single Christians, I will find their eternal heaven partners, so that they know who to seek out once they get there.

Hang on, isn't fleecing money from the gullible a crime?

Answer 5

Not sure but a good idea. Think of all the money you could make. 85% of America is Christian. People have been waiting for like 2000 years so is it really gonna happen? No.

Answer 6

Maybe I could get a few to keep in my desk for days when I'm super busy and can't get out for lunch. I suspect the quality of my work life is going to improve immensely because of your question. Thanks ever so much.

Home Depot, here I come...

Answer 7

just need to follow Acts 2:38 and the rest of the Bible

but with out the Holy Ghost you won't get off the ground




Oh and how it that being illegal in Hawaii going?

Answer 8

They sell easy-break drywall for the ceilings and stryrofoam roofing supplies. They recommed wearing a helmet but claim you will be okay without one.

Answer 9

Are you kidding?? the 'rapture' folks wouldn't get NEAR any (gasp!) holy water! That's a CATHOLIC thing, for crying out loud!


:)

Answer 10

Why?
Your not going to be raptured unless you know Jesus as Lord and Savior. You can ask him into your heart, ask for forgiveness of sins and rejoice in your new found reason to live until he returns for us.

Thanks for letting me testify and make this offer of salvation.

Jesus is Lord