Recently lost a baby at 20 weeks and have a hard time dealing with her?

Question

orignal due date and wondered would it seem to weird if on the day she was supposed to be born i sent a family at the hosptial that has lost a baby some flowers. of course without putting my name on it not wanting credit. it seems like hosptials do not treat women who lose a baby very caring. once agin i will not put my name on the flowers it will just say may God give you the comfort you need thru this hard time.

to the first person i recently lost the baby and wanted to send flowers to a family who had a loss. but not take credit for it. I truly apprecitaed any cards i received when i lost my baby girl. it made me feel like her small life meant something. hosptials are so cold and when you lose a child the whole experience is awful. i feel like if i sent the flowers it would be my way showing love for my own child since she isnt here. it will be her due date.

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your loss. It is common to grieve over the baby you lost, even if other people (in the hospital, and in general) do not recognize that your loss is painful. Those who have not gone through a miscarriage or a still birth do not understand how much it hurts. What you need is for others to validate your feelings of loss, and the fact that your baby was real, and her life had meaning. You will probably always think of her on your due date or on the date she died.
(My own was June 28, 1986 and I still think of him on that date!) I think it is an excellent idea to send flowers on your baby's due date to someone else who has lost their baby. Memorializing your baby this way will help you to make something positive out of your grief and loss, while simultaneously validating some other couple's loss and helping them the way you would have liked to be helped. And yes, God does comfort us in our loss, and He is using you to comfort others. God bless you!

Answer 2

That is so nice of u! No, I don't think it's weird. You sound like ur a very generous person who thinks of others before urself. A wonderful trait. And u've only recently lost ur own little one! Ur right, hospitals don't have much sympathy for women who lose babys. I lost my baby at 40 weeks and they put me into the antenatal ward where I couldn't hear other babies crying, but they also put me in a room on my own, not with other women. I needed to talk, and though I had my family around, it would have been good to talk to a stranger, if u know what I mean?
What u did for that other family was the most unselfish thing I have ever heard of. I'm so sorry for ur loss and wish I could make it up to u.
God give U the comfort that u need at this time.

Answer 3

I think it is a wonderful idea I lost my baby Feb 11th and since i was only 9 weeks the hospital staff kind of gave me that oh well it happens type feeling and sent me home to "pass the tissue" as they called it since i was only 9 weeks along.

I think what you want to do is wonderful and i would also like to pass on a website to you and any one else that may have recently been through a miscarriage. The sight specializes in miscarriage jewelry my mother bought my a necklace from there and it was a wonderful gift to honor the baby I lost

Answer 4

Reaching out to other people to try to alleviate their pain to help alleviate your own seems like an excellent plan. I don't know how you would find out if there was a loss unless you knew the family. Just remember that grieving takes time & let yourself grieve when you need to. My sister in law had 2 miscarriages--1 right after another before 2 healthy pregancies--every once in awhile she still feels the need to reach out because of her loss. I feel blessed when she chooses to reach out to me so I can mourn with her. Her first born is now 4 years old. If you need to, reach out. Don't mourn alone if you need company. If needed, reach out to a support group to get through the hard times. I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

i can not even begin to imagine the pain that rought to you & your family. i am truely sorry for your loss. i had a miscarriage once as well but it was very early on (6 weeks) and that was rough so at 20 weeks i wouldnt even know how to react. i think that your idea is wonderful and yes it would bring comfort to the family.

god bless you the world needs more people like you

Answer 6

that sounds like a wonderful idea. Also to help you get it off your mind, distract yourself. I wasn't able to get pregnant for a while so i helpped at day cares and things like that. It was hard as heck at first, but it helpped me feel fuller. And when the time is right, maybe you can try again- don't dwell on the loss, but never forget what happened.

Answer 7

Oh you poor thing! My sister also lost a baby at 20 weeks and couldn't cope with his death for a long time. I think what you are proposing to be a very lovely unselfish thing to do. You are going through a very hard time yourself and are thinking of others pain. I commend you for it! I am so very sorry for your loss. You have my heartfelt condolences.

Answer 8

Sure--do whatever will make you feel better. Reaching out to others in the same situation will definitely help you cope a little more.

There are organizations of mommies who have lost little ones that you can join and go to meetings with, too, if you'd like to do that.

Answer 9

Wow particularly some rigidity, human beings arent designed to hold such burdens, pray to the Lord and ask him to left your burdens. have you ever tried paying instrumental music to the toddler, like classical they respond properly to it. and because you have a working laptop or workstation get your husband to seek for employment and locate out new places beginning. communicate to your husband regarding the way you experience, on condition that he's around greater. And friendship you elect that, plenty. Im going slightly loopy on the 2d because of the lack of ability of it. possibly connect a mom and toddler classification pastime or church element. Invite your in rules around. confirm you the two do some thing specific a minimum of as quickly as a month, its significant for marriage.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry that you lost your baby. I understand that you want to help another family that may lose their baby on that day, but it does seem kind of weird to me to do it that way. Perhaps you could make a monetary gift in your child's honor to a crisis pregnancy center instead.