How can I quit being so needy?

Question

Everytime i get involved with a boyfriend things start out really good, then I start worrying, he isn''t contacting me as much he is losing interest, I start getting worried angry and resentful. Thinking he is going to quit seeing me, that I am not important to him. I get stressed out start wanting to seek attention from other males.

Answer 1

not sure how old u are - but i am almost the same way and i am 25 - I just lost my fiance due to it and I regret it more than anything -
when u start feeling these feelings think pos. instead of neg. - think about the things he says or does that shows he is interested and he does care - write down some statements u can repeat to yourself when u start to feel this way, then at the first sign of these feelings start to repeat these to urself or out loud - even if u dont believe them - say them - the more u say them the more u will belive them - plus once u say them u will hopefully be able to resist the urges u get to feel scared or worried... some examples:
-the other day he did this..................for me
- he is with me I make him happy I have no reason to feel this way
- he must be busy i am not his whole world and he shouldnt be mine I should call a friend and go out, read a book or another hobby(by the way if u make ur man ur whole world like i did , these feelings u have are bound to crop up, u CANT have ur life revolve around a man no matter how close u are or how much u love them, it puts too much pressure on him and u have no outlet but him)
- I am a good person, I deserve this guy and we are happy, dont worry until there is something to worry about
- please add ur own....

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u may need to see a therapist - u may have underlying issues with men....maybe ur father walked out or wasnt there 4 u or ur mom - maybe u were cheated on - there are so many things that are building up deep down inside that u may not even be aware of...
I do the same thing as u - i dont know how to tell u to stop - but u need to - I hope u havent lost someone as wonderful as i did bc of ur insecurities and dependency - u need to get help - self help tapes or books - online support groups - no an online search for co- dependency...
u also probably have a self esteem issue - u may not think that ur worthy of love and being happy for a long time and that eventually the person will leave u - thats not a good thing at all - look up self esteem or how to improve self esteem....
self esteem and self concept is a huge part of life and exp. relationships - u will never keep a man in ur life if u dont have these essential traits - please do urself a favor and get help somehow - if u are young and still in school see the councelor and ask for info on self esteem problems -
THIS IS NOT A TIME TO THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR PRIDE OR BEING EMBARASSED.....THIS COULD RUIN UR LIFE. or at least hinder it in a very big way - u will keep losing relationships due to ur insecurites - if u dont see this and change now - u will find out the hard way like i did and lose the best thing u ever had...
I can see in u what i am now seeing in me due to therapy after the love of my life left me bc i was liek this - THSES FEELINGS WILL ONLY GET WORSE AND STRONGER as the relationships progresses
I dont want this to happen to u - i wish someone would have talked some sence into me. if u need to talk email me:
[e-mail]
I will be there

Answer 2

Tia, the neediness could be a sense of insecurity inside you.

When men are pressed by a needy female, it drives them away.
Do some things for your own self.Enjoy the time you have together with him but don't give up your independence.That's probably part of what attracted him to you in the first place.

Seeking attention from other men is relationship suicide.
That will make your life so much more difficult.

Look inside yourself and see what needs you have that aren't being met.And be honest with yourself!

Answer 3

When you start feeling that way, stop. Ask yourself if you trust him, if you think that he would really lose interest in you. If you're not sure, just explain to him that you worry a lot and if he could take the time to re-assure you a few times it would help you a lot. Other than that, you just need to trust your bf. I know that it's a big step to open up and trust someone like that, but you can't have a relationship based on neediness and suspicion.

Answer 4

Stop worrying, they can sense that. Men don't like needy women. Try acting more cavalier, and then see what happens. It sucks, but its the truth. Its all a game at first. It sounds to me as if you need attention from a man to make you feel worthy. You can only feel worthy yourself, that comes from within. Love yourself, and a man will love you.

Answer 5

First you need to get comfortable with yourself. If you are confident in yourself and your abilities you will be fine in a relationship. It sounds like you are just insecure about yourself and don't have high self-esteem, so do something to make you feel good about yourself. Work out, finish school, get the job you want, do whatever it is that will make you feel good about who you are, and then you will know that any one would be lucky to have you and you won't worry so much.

Answer 6

refer to her & tell her which you quite elect to be waiting to hold close which contain your acquaintances or do some thing else as wellbeing round her. nonetheless refer to her&call her throughout the day so she is conscious you're no longer disillusioned. tell her gently however, so she does not get mad.

Answer 7

You want to destroy things before he can.
Give things a chance to work out for themselves

Answer 8

maybe your expecting too much from him.i mean he is a guy.guys need space.in the mean time maybe hanging around w/ other guys will make him want to talk to you more!!

Answer 9

Don't try.

Love Amie