No church allowed!?

Question

Whatever happened to people having their weddings in churches? Im not super religious or anything...in fact Im planning on having my wedding in a Unitarian Church because they are very liberal, and encourage spirituality instead of harping on religious dogma, but I still feel like a church is the appropriate place for a wedding! Everyone these days seems to want to have it in a random hall, separate room, or gazebo outside some where.

What are your thoughts on the issue?

-I realize that it can save money to have it elsewhere some times, but isnt the ceremony the most important part? i.e. something that you should be willing to spend money on if youre going to shell out thousands on a reception?

Im not trying to say that you are a bad or cheap person if you dont get married in a church. I have just noticed that a lot of people seem to be opting for or encouraging non-church weddings, so I just asked the question for debate...not insult or injury. I did not intend a personal attack on anyone's wedding, beliefs, or feelings.

Answer 1

Is it becoming more common to do it outside of the church really? I've only ever been to 2 weddings that werent in churches and only 1 of those was by choice, the other couple had to because it was his 2nd marriage and they were Catholic and the 1st wife wouldnt give him an annulment so they werent allowed to do it in the church. I didnt realize this was a really common thing.

Answer 2

I am also getting married in a Unitarian church and for many of the same reasons. I had originally wanted an outside ceremony, but I'm terrified the weather won't work in my favor, so we decided to look for alternative indoor locations. We both identify ourselves as spiritual, but not religious, and didn't want a traditional ceremony. I think the way (and where) you get married has a lot to do with your personal beliefs and that you should marry wherever you feel closest to your "God". For us that was going to be outside because we are more earth centered in our beliefs. The Unitarian church felt like home to us the first time we visited, so we are choosing that instead. For some, the grace of a church makes them feel at peace. The beautiful thing about it is that people are no longer forced to marry in a church if they don't want to, but they can if they do. I say to each their own and everyone finds a blessing somewhere, even if it is in a drive-thru wedding chapel in Vegas!

Answer 3

Church would not have been an appropriate choice for me, especially since I've never gone and I'm not affiliated with any religion. So it wasn't even an option as I went through my wedding planning. But I would think that a church would be cheaper than having it elsewhere (like a hotel, hall, or gazebo)...at least when I checked, most places wanted over $3k for a one hour ceremony. I don't know how much a church rental is, though. I think everyone's beliefs are different and if you want to get married in a church, good for you!

Answer 4

Frankly I think it has nothing to do with cost or religious beliefs. Most people in the US have some religious faith, if they are not practicing. As to the cost, where I live churches are the cheapest places to get married.

I think the answer lies in media and advertising. Everything associated with weddings iss automatically marked up about 400% or more in price over anything else. For a long time, churches had the corner market on wedding venues, but people realized that they could make a killing by marketing their park, restaurant, winery, clubhouse, whatever as a wedding venue. Also, at home or alternative location weddings seem to be omnipresent in the media. For sitcoms, they probably didn't have the budget or the influence to film a sham wedding in a church, so they used something else, even the normal household set, instead. This created a "norm" of getting married in places other than churches (or courthouses, the other major venue). Media and marketing have made the whole wedding industry pretty bizarre if you really think about it. Many of the current "traditions" were really started as a business venture (ahem, limos, 500 different types of showers/pre-wedding parties/after-parties/diamond engagement rings/etc). Kind of like Hallmark holidays. People like lavish parties and self-indulgence, so they "buy" into it.

Answer 5

But why is the location of a ceremony so important? Why should a church be THE place for a couple? Perhaps a certain place out in nature is of certain significance to the couple. Maybe having something away from the confines of church walls provides better scenery (which adds to the mood of the moment), more comfort for the wedding party and guests, or it's just plain cheaper.

The point of the whole thing is the act itself. It can be held in a church, backyard, seaside, in front of a justice of the peace, or a boxing ring. It's all about making the commitment to that special person for the rest of your days.

Answer 6

Way back when before cars, electricity and all sorts of other things some small towns had no church or the minister was just there for periods of time. Alot of people got married at their homes by the sheriff or mayor or something. Church is where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name according to Gods Word and this entire world is His church. He created it so whats the big deal. Someone said a marriage starts off on the right foot if done in a church. I think marriage starts off on the right foot if God is the center of it.

Answer 7

Well, I don't attend a church, nor do I like oraganized religon to be perfectly honest. I felt totally weird getting married in a church when I don't personally agree with their practices. Nothing against religion, just a personal feeling. So we decided that we didn't want or need a church wedding for it to be meaningful or special to us. And we actually paid more to not have our wedding in a church. We could have had the ceremony in a church for free, we'd did pay a preacher from my husband's childhood church marry us.

Answer 8

A church is a building like any other.

What takes place though is when people gather together for a service it become a sanctuary; a place to meet with God.
That can happen anywhere. The Bible says, "that where two or three are gathered, in My name, there'll I'll be also".

Just because a ceremony isn't held in a church doesn't make it any less sacred, solemn or spiritual.

I have conducted many a spiritual ceremony in beautiful surroundings of nature.

Answer 9

You requested this earlier, and the answer is sure, for sure they're allowed in Church and allowed to wish. Homosexuals are anticipated, like honestly everyone else, to steer a chaste life. As a divorced man or woman, you could acquire communion contained in the Church if you're optimal a chaste life to boot. you could't be remarried (till you've an annulment out of your first marriage) and also you could't be in a sexual courting, if you're both, then you actually can't acquire communion because you're committing adultery. yet, purely being divorced does no longer deny you communion. in addition, homosexuals also should be living a chaste life with a view to be in finished communion with the Church and able to acquire the Eucharist.

Answer 10

Sometimes people dont have a choice because nowadays a lot of ministers require pre-marital counselling or in my cas wont perform the ceremony because my fiance and I are of different religions-i'm christian and he's muslim. It was going to cost about 4 times as much to marry in one church that does all the flower arrangements, cake and reception, but I wanted to have what I wanted and the price didn't change, so we decided against that. I'm opting for the garden area of the hotel where we are having the reception.