I am 26 and was involved with a 34 year old man from Italy in a long-distance relationship. We met about two years ago and last summer began our relationship. We had been good friends up to that point and his mother and I have always been close (she introduced us).
I went to see him for New Year's and he proposed marriage. I was thrilled, believe me. Well, he gave me a ring and when I got back to the US, the stone fell out twice. He told me he spent 300 Euros on it; naturally, I was hysterical.
When I got to the jeweler, they refused to repair it. Why? Because it was only worth $20. I called him to tell him I knew the truth but the phone line cut. This was Feb. 8 and we have not spoken since-- he won't answer the phone.
I have spoken to his mom several times, even today. She said he said he thought I thought all he wanted me for was US citizenship-- NOT true. He also thought I got it appraised on purpose-- NOT true. She says "if they are flowers, they'll bloom." What do you think?
2007-05-03 11:38:27 · 15 answers · asked by Windflowers03 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I never cared about the ring's value-- but the significance-- absolutely! He said he told me 300 E as a joke. I even told him before he gave it to me that the significance was the most powerful thing-- that he could spend a penny for all I cared. Sigh....
I am asking in other forums to get ppl's perspectives that might not see it in other ones... I am really upset and just want as much advice as I can get.
2007-05-03 11:43:12 · update #1
Seriously, I don't give a damn over the price of the ring! He could have put a paper band on my finger for all I care. It is the fact he lied and then went AWOL. It is killing me inside what happened... :-(
2007-05-03 14:37:12 · update #2
Perhaps he told you it was worth more because he was embarrassed about the ring's actual price. Of course, he shouldn't have lied to you. Let him know that he can trust you. Tell him next time, not to be afraid to confide in you because you'll love him no matter what. Good luck.
2007-05-03 11:45:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me like maybe all he wants is US citizenship. I'm sorry it hurts, but I'm going to tell it like it is: "He's just not that into you." If you really love someone, you do not stop talking to them for 3 months. A $20 ring is not a sign of everlasting love, because it will not last as long as the engagement (it does not sound like money is such an issue that he couldn't spend a few bucks more and get something that would stay in one piece). If you really love someone and they find out you lied to them about the engagement ring, you do everything you can to make things right, not drop them completely. This guy obviously has major social issues including the unwillingness to be generous with those he loves. He is also sorting out his romantic life through his mother when he is 34 years old?!?! These are major problems. If he has not learned to be a man by the time he is 34, he is not going to. This is NOT prince charming. This leaves him with nothing but a sexy accent and international appeal--not enough to base a marriage on. The mother just doesn't want to see the bad in her son, a natural response. Three months after the fact, you need to allow yourself to be angry--furious even--that he cared so little about your feelings. It is time for you to move on and be thankful that this one showed his true colors before the wedding.
2007-05-03 19:05:46 · answer #2 · answered by M L 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that's soo sad, i think you should forget about him. sorry if that sounds harsh, but the ring broke twice, its worth is about $20, and you've tried calling him and stuff and he's saying a bunch of bull! sigh...
i know how you feel, my ''friends'' pretty much told me all my imperfections and basically said that if i perfected myself i could be their friend again. so the solution is, move on if he loved you he wouldn't be doing this stuff. you should'nt have to put up with this $#%& ! the best thing to do is move on.
best of luck
2007-05-03 18:55:24 · answer #3 · answered by beatleslunchbox65 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that he isn't the right man for you. i mean he lied about the engaged ring. this is supposed to be the best time of your life and he couldn't even tell you the truth. What is mother says is true but not in this particular situation. He played you and you deserve better move on. i know i will be hard but the is another man out there for you and when you find him you'll know when it is right.
2007-05-03 18:46:28 · answer #4 · answered by tasheema22 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Its a very unfortunate situation, but you must sit down and breathe a sigh of relief you found out about his nature now before you left the US for an Italian who clearly is not a good man. I am sorry, but you will eventually consider yourself lucky.
2007-05-03 18:47:13 · answer #5 · answered by melouofs 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's no good. Be thankful that you found out before you married the bum. He's trying to put the blame on you now. Cut off all communications with him. Move on. You are a lucky woman.
2007-05-03 18:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well by complaining about the ring shows you are only interested in the ring. I would get that impression too.
You should very needy
2007-05-03 20:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Send the ring back, and break it off. You are not marrying his mother.
2007-05-03 18:43:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he actually told you what the ring was worth, that is stupid...who does that?
Get out, he sounds like an ******.
2007-05-03 20:07:46 · answer #9 · answered by . 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
How many times are you going to ask this question?
2007-05-03 18:41:26 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋