My finace and I are paying for the whole wedding on our own and don't feel we should have to incur the cost of a cocktail hour as well. How can we inform guests that attend the cocktail hour they are responsible for their own beverages?
2007-05-03 09:51:19 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Okay, so I left some detatils out...
My fiance and I are paying for the whole wedding, we are wanting to do a cocktail hour THE NIGHT BEFORE. When I worded the question before people thought that we were going to charge people at the reception, WE are paying for the whole thing that evening. So how can we inform people that wish to attend a cocktail hour the night before the wedding, that they will be responsible for thier own costs?
2007-05-03 12:35:25 · update #1
what about buying the first drink for each person. print out little business sized cards that say "first one's on us" then work with the bar tenders to take the card(so guests don't use them more than once) then u pay them for the first drinks.
if that's still too much, then try saying "join us for drinks at (insert location here), bring your smiles and cash"
or "cash bar. food available."
and do make sure there is food available - you don't want people drinking on an empty stomache and getting really super drunk!
good luck with this! God Bless
2007-05-03 13:56:35 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1
2016-12-24 04:09:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, well once you announce that the guests must pay for the cocktail hour, they are no longer your guests, they are customers. Please don't do this. I won't use the "T" word, but if you ask guests to pay, that's exactly what it will be. I highly doubt the above poster was at a "classy" wedding that also made guests pay for drinks. Anyway..since it seems you are having a big wedding dinner, you really don't even need to have a cocktail hour if you can't afford it. Not sure what is done in the area you live, but in NY and most of the northeast, the cocktail hour is much more than cocktails. It's lots of hors devours, stations, and sometimes buffets that is served along with drinks before dinner. If in your area, the cocktail hour is JUST drinks, I say skip it if the guests must pay. If it's food and drinks, just keep it dry and offer soft drinks, or just one signature drink. The cost of that should really be negligible for you. There really is no proper or polite way to inform guests they must pay. I know for myself, when I go to a wedding I bring very little cash, just enough for the valet and bartender tips. I would be mortified if I ordered a drink and didn't have the cash on hand to pay!
2007-05-03 12:38:39 · answer #3 · answered by MelB 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I cannot honestly think of a polite way of saying this. Instead of a cocktail hour, why not just say to people that you are meeting up in a local bar for a few drinks the night before, that would imply to me an informal relaxed night in a pub and if I was a guest I would then expect to pay for my own drinks, the same as any other night out.
2007-05-03 21:52:28 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is NO TACTFUL way to state that guests are expected to pay for their own cocktail hour. It is rude. Most guests do not come to weddings carrying mounds of cash for a cash bar and there is not tactful way to write that on an invitation. If you cannot afford to pay for this then you shouldn't have the cocktail hour.
Think about what a guest goes through to come to a wedding - some get a new outfit they spend time getting ready, they buy you a gift and get it wrapped or ready, some hire a babysitter and are paying for that.
So to ask someone to pay for all of that and then on top of it have to pay to have some wine and cheese is ridiculous.
2007-05-03 10:38:34 · answer #5 · answered by OohLaLa 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
ok...the guy that said post a sign is an idiot...what happens when the guests expect a free bar and don't bring money other than the gift. You can't have a cocktail hour that isn't included it's rude and tacky. Why do people think they can have a wedding with a cash bar and still expect gifts from their guests?!??! some people have no class!!!
2007-05-03 10:07:43 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa D 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there IS a tasteful way to do that. If you are having a reception with a cash bar, that's one thing. People will still be able to drink sodas and such for free and to dance and talk to each other. But to invite them to a separate cocktail party that you're not paying for is just very low class. Would you invite people to come to your dinner party and then ask them to pay for their meals? Of course not! If you can't afford to be a host, don't be a host.
Remember, people are spending an awful lot to attend your wedding, between the cost of outfits, hairstyling, travel, lodging (if applicable), cards, wedding gifts, shower gifts, bachelor/bachelorette parties, tips for service people, money dances, etc, etc, etc. Don't be cheap to people who are taking their time and money to help you celebrate your happiness. Don't have a cocktail party at all if you can't afford to have it the right way.
2007-05-03 10:43:15 · answer #7 · answered by Vix 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but if you invite them they will come thinking that you are paying, plain and simple. Many people still don't know what "No Host Bar" means. Unless you make it very informal and not send any type of invitation and say something like "Hey, a bunch of us are going to have drinks at the hotel bar, you want to come?" You could always ask your wedding party to spread the word as long as you trust them to make it clear that it's 'pay for your own' by using similar wording above, but like I said... if you send an invitation, your guests will think you are paying.
2007-05-04 09:06:51 · answer #8 · answered by Marianne D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no nice way to say that. If you can't afford cocktail hour, than don't have one. You said that you don't believe you are responsible for the cost incurred at the cocktail hour. Now, that's just tacky. That is the equivalent of inviting someone to your home and charging them for eating your food.
If you can't afford it, don't do it. It's better not to have the cocktail hour, than to have one and charge people to an event you are hosting and have invited them to as guests.
2007-05-03 10:01:57 · answer #9 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I've usually seen signs at the bars or alcohol serving areas that will simply say "no-host bar" and that's a polite indication of letting guests know that the drinks are not included. It's not intrusive and I think most people understand. If you have programs for the ceremony and reception/dinner, you can make a small side note under the cocktail hour that it's a no-host bar, but I don't think people will need that extra info.
2007-05-03 10:01:24 · answer #10 · answered by denise25 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The host and hostess are responsible for both "the food and the drink." As the "host and hostess" you cannot pick and choose what you are going to pay for. If you are going to ask your guests to pay for their own beveages . . then you should also ask them to pay for their own dinners and have them leave a tip for the waitresses. If you cannot afford to buy beverages for your guests then you should have selected a restaurant that does not serve liquor. Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-05-04 10:04:53 · answer #11 · answered by Avis B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋