Best way to discipline a child?

Question

I have a three year old that has recently been put in daycare. Before she went to daycare she had started to hit. The daycare has said that they have to place her in time out alot because of the hitting. What would be a good way to discipline her when she goes to time out for hitting while at her daycare?

Note that I have been working with her to stop hitting at home. I don't know why she continues to do it so much while she is at her daycare.

Answer 1

If she has had a time out at the daycare, no further punishment is needed, nor would it have any effect so long after the fact. (I think I am understanding what your question is.)
I have found a tried-and-true formula that works wonders: Encourage the behavior you want repeated, ignore the behavior you want to end. Negative attention (punishment) is still attention, and you can't permanently change behavior unless the person wants to change. You get them to want this by making them feel good when they behave in the way you are trying to encourage. Make sure she gets "gold stars" (whatever you choose to use) for every day that she doesn't hit anyone, or that she punches pillows instead of people, etc. If she needs to, see if the day care will work with you on getting through one morning or afternoon without hitting, if a whole day is too much for her just yet.
Even more important, you have to teach her ways that it IS OKAY to express her anger, as well as ways it isn't! You can help her learn to punch pillows, bat a ball, take deep breaths, draw a mad picture, whatever you consider appropriate. Just make sure that she knows safe ways to let her anger and frustration out.

With these two steps you'll soon see a big decrease in her combativeness. Best of luck.

Answer 2

First you need to find out why she is hittiing. Most likely, at this age, it is out of frustration because she doesn't know how to communicate her feelings. Work with her on that. Teach her the words for how she feels. Explain to her that you know it's hard when someone takes a toy from her (or whatever the case may be) but she has to learn to say it instead of hitting.

Your question sounds like you are asking what else they should do at the daycare along with time out? If that is correct then you need to make sure that the time out is away from the other kids and from any possible distractions. If she can still interact with anyone, it's not serving it's purpose at all.

If you are asking about how you can punish her at home after she's had time outs at daycare, don't. Don't punish a 3 year old HOURS after they have done something wrong, the meaning of it has already been lost. Focus on teaching her to communicate and understand her feelings better so that she doesn't take them out aggressively.

If she hits at home and you need to punish her there, take away her favorite toy, take away tv time, remove something she really likes until she learns to express her frustration in constructive ways.

Answer 3

My best suggestion is to take away a favorite toy, tv show, or activity until she can stop getting time-out at daycare. Everyday, if she comes home take a new "toy, show or activity" away until she gets the picture that hitting is not acceptable. Even if it comes down to nothing in her room or playarea. Try to put her in situations also were you can see her hit too, it will help your child realize what exactly you are talking about too.

Answer 4

A three year old has great self esteem. They believe that they deserve things. Hitting is one way to try to get things!! Your child is smart, three is young for day care. They do better with a grandma or another adult. Three year olds need small amounts of controlled play. All day long is too long. The world of a child is small. The day is good when it goes like this:

Wake. Eat. Poop. Snack. A small walk. Climb on a big rock. Jump in circles, find a bug. Snack. Nap. Cuddle. Play outside, story time. Dinner, cuddle and then fall asleep.

I want to be three again!

If your child is still hitting in Kindergarten, then you have to worry. By first grade no one pees their pants, or is normally aggressive.

Answer 5

You can't discipline her once she gets home for what she did at daycare. They have already put her in time out. By the time you get home she will have forgotten about the events that occured earlier and won't understand why she is being punished. You have to discipline as soon as it happens.

Answer 6

daycare is only allowed to use time out. I would recommend using the same method if this is what she continually gets in trouble for. she may understand that it is wrong, but now she is having to share and she is expressing her angry. Just stay calm and put her in time out for 3 min. Buy a timer if you must. If she gets up walk her back to her chair. It took training but my one and two year old both abide by time-out.

Answer 7

I watch two little girls and one is always hitting because she has a sibling that teases her in that manner, so she does the same here. I made a sticker pad for each girl and when they do good they each get to put a sticker of their choice on the pad. This works great because you are encouraging good in them, they do everything from picking up their toys to helping and caring for each other and they are only 1 1/2 & 3.

Answer 8

Deny her something she values, like a favourite fruit or drink or activity. Replace it with something acceptable, but not what she wants, and explain to her that she's not having it until she stops hitting. Keep on denying it or taking it away. Over time - about two weeks, with persistence - she'll get the message. NB DON'T deny her a favourite comfort toy - just a treat. Taking a comfort toy from her will upset her far too much.

Answer 9

time out, but it sounds like the problem is mostly at daycare, so you never know, maybe another child is provoking or hitting her, but at home i would stick to 3 minute time out

Answer 10

When i babysitted a little boy who was about 3, to get him to behave i made up stories to get him to behave. For ex sample. one time i had to look after another child, because his mum and the Little's boys mum were talking. He started to shout and hit the other little boy, so i made up a story saying that if he ever hit anyone ever again, that the special fairy's hated people who hit. and that if they caught him hitting anyone ever again, that they would fly in and take his toys. in this way it put it in a way that he could understand.