Will wedding guests feel offended if the marriage ceremony is attended by immediate family only?

Question

We are not particularily religious and we'd like to have a non-traditional wedding this fall. We were hoping to have a small, intimate wedding ceremony attended by only the immediate family FOLLOWED by a larger reception (cocktails/dancing) attended by all. We were wondering if the reception guests would feel offended by not witnessing the actual nuptuals?

Answer 1

You need to make sure your invitation says something along the lines of:

You are invited to celebrate the marriage of Jane Doe and John Smith. Please attend the reception on ..........

People won't care if they didn't come to the wedding ceremony. Some people have private ceremonies or civil ceremonies and then a party (reception) afterward.

Its how my husband and I did things. We got married 5 days after Christmas, so NO ONE was able to attend outside of my family (we lived in the same town), and then had a reception later that his family could attend. It was fine....and frankly not so much stress!

Answer 2

I would not feel offended if the wedding was held a while before the reception. An hour or so would do. The way you wrote FOLLOWED makes me wonder if the reception guests are going to be waiting in a different room while you have your intimate ceremony. (Wedding at 5 reception at 5:15 right down the hall) If that's the case, yes I would be offended. Then you should have the wedding in the same room as the reception.

Plus then you'll have plenty of time for pictures of the immediate family before the rest of the guest arrive. Best wishes

Answer 3

The only weird part that I can see (you are totally over reacting by the way) is the fact that someone is bringing a child (the new born) but then again maybe it's one of those cases where it's an exception as you wouldn't want to leave a newborn with a babysitter. All in all your family situation is your problem and not up to random relatives to provide chances for you to socialise with who you want. If you want to see people more often then arrange some sort of get together that is not a funeral, like say a birthday party for your next birthday. Some people on here can't read. It said the kids are going to be at the ceremony which the questioner is not invited to, not the reception. Although I don't see how reception translates into adult only disco but whatever... I suppose you could feel upset about not being invited to the ceremony but if you're not close, maybe they can't afford to do all what you did.

Answer 4

Honestly, no. Personally, weddings are boring. The first 10 minutes with the procession and the music are nice but the rest is long and boring. Letting people skip out on the wedding and just go to the party is awesome!

Some people might be hurt that they were not allowed to come to the actual ceremony but just explain your reasonings. I think having the wedding and then immediately having the reception with people who are not at the wedding is a little weird and while I personally wouldn't be offended, I would feel that the whole affair was a little disjointed because the majority of the people at the party weren't there to even see what it is they are celebrating.

I would suggest having the wedding with just immediate family and then having the reception the next day with all your family and friends.

Answer 5

Why don't you get a professional videographer to tape the ceremony and do a fun edited version you can show at the larger reception? A friend did that - had a destination wedding with 20 people in Hawaii, and then had a 200 person reception in California. They showed a lovely five minute recap of the wedding. I don't think anyone was offended at all - in fact, I think most were grateful they didn't have to shell out the cash to attend the ceremony!

Answer 6

No this is actually the more polite way to go about things in comparison to some of the things I have seen - like you're invited to the ceremony but not the reception because we can't afford to feed our guests. It is ok to invite people to just the reception. Especially once guests find out that only immediate family was invited.

Answer 7

We went to a reception like this last year. The wedding was for the immediate family only. They got married on a small boat on a lake, and the reception was at a supper club on the lake.

They were married at 3 PM, and the reception was at 5. Seemed to work well for everyone!

Answer 8

I went to three weddings like this. They were during the week. Couple was married earlier in the day and the reception started about 7. Nobody seemed upset by it at any of the events. In two cases, the couple were married by a judge and the other couple married in a little town church that only held about 20 people (which was most of his family).

There are also couples who elope or have a destination wedding and follow it days later with a reception. I don't think it's an issue unless you make it difficult for the older generation to enjoy themselves (bands tend to chase them off because they are too loud).

Answer 9

Well, only the people who are invited to the ceremony are invited to the reception; you invite people to both. So, you are going to have a small, intimate reception if you have a small, intimate ceremony.
The purpose of the reception is for the guests to celebrate with the couple the vows which were taken at the ceremony earlier.

Answer 10

They may- but who cares.

Many people do weddings this way. I have been invited to receptions and not the ceremony and I was not offended. The only reason they should be offended is if they were really close.