I want to be a stay at home mom but my husband refuses. help?

Question

i have a 4 month old baby and my maternity leave is over. I want to quit my job and raise our daughter. I can't imagine leaving her to babysitters or daycare centers. I don't want her to call anyone else "mamma". My husband dissagrees and sais I should work. We are financially stable though

help

Answer 1

You should shop around and get an idea of what childcare will cost. Many times, the cost of child care will out weigh the value of the income you are bringing in. Especially when you factor in the extra gas, extra trips to the doctor because kids in daycare get sick all the time, time off to take your baby to the doctor, the cost of housekeeper since you are working as well, etc.

Answer 2

Read this article about how much a stay at home Mom is worth. It may change his mind. You are right about not wanting your child to call anyone else Mom! You could be raising a President, a doctor, a researcher who finds the cure to cancer or HIV. All children do better when raised by their own parents. Your child will also have a stronger immune system from not being exposed to all the kids at daycare who are constantly sick.

If your husband thinks you need the income, try to do something from home to bring in some extra cash. Read "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey, its a great way to help manage your finances. He also has a website: www.daveramsey.com and a radio program.

Your precious daughter needs you! Do everything you can to stay home and raise her! Best of luck to you! I stayed at home to raise the kids too and worked from home! It can be done with a few sacrifices that are soooo worth it.

Answer 3

I am a stay at home mom too and it is soooo hard! I'm exhausted all the time. This is harder than when I was "working". Keeping a clean house is already a tough job. My spouse knows that. He sympathizes. Let your husband stay home for a couple of days and have him take care of the baby, the laundry, the dishes, all the meals while you go out and pamper yourself. and when you come home, do not offer to help him (unless you are breastfeeding the baby). If your husband refuses, tell him "If you're such a man then I'd like to see you do this "job" better than me". If he is still a coward, tell him "You're right. Maybe you're 2 old to do my job that's why you can't do it". Try this and see if it works :) Let me know how it goes. *Hugs*

Answer 4

he doesn't seem to think much of your child. Let him know by staying at home, you'll be giving your child the best foundation she needs
Perhaps he's feeling jelous that you'll be at home while he sweats it out at work. Let him understand that mothering is a more difficult job and you don't ever get a break once u're in it. It's even easier to go out to work than sit at home with an unpredictable child. He should try it out, alone, for just a day to know what it's really like.
You are making the best decision for your baby and you should endeavour to win his support. Be firm.
Goodluck

Answer 5

Try to compromise, maybe see if you could work part time at your job, or bring parts of it home. If not I agree with the other posters that you could try to find home based employment. No one can force you to work, but it sounds like not working will make your husband resentful.

Your best bet may be to try a trial return to your old job, see what it's like to work and care for a young baby, maybe after seeing you be exhausted from a long day at work and then caring for a baby your husband might be more open to letting you raise the kid until she is old enough for school.

Answer 6

Spin your head around and hurl green pea soup at him. lol!
No, for real, he can't MAKE you work so just don't put up with it. Tell him that if money is that important to him that he can get a moonlighting job. A baby needs it's mama at home!
I can't belive he's not proud of you for being such a good mom and wanting to raise your daughter yourself instead of handing her off to strangers. Sorry, he'd have a hell of a time dealing with me. Get some balls girl. Don't let him push you into something you're not happy with.

Answer 7

Explain to him how it is importnat for young kids to bond in the small age. Tell him that money can be earned at any stage of life but life with the little one can never be brought back. Tell him that its important that the baby grows to be a well balanced child instead of worrying about her later on in the life when the damage is already done. You should flat out refuse and tell him that this is your wish and he cant and should not force you to work when you are not ready yet. Try to get him to see your point. Point out to him all the wrong things that girls can end up doing if not brought up correctly.

Answer 8

well, you have to work it out with him, i am a stay at home mom, and it's the best thing for us, but my husband is supportive and likes that i am home with our children, we are liked minded about not wanting others to raise our children, i am so sorry for you, look up benefits on line and print them out maybe that will help

Answer 9

He may be worried about money, even if you say your family is financially stable. Show him the costs of full time day care, compared to what you would make if you went back to work.
Depending upon your income, you may end up in the negative going back to work.
Ie: $1500 / mo income minus $400 /wk day care... youre paying $100 a month to go to work.
In my opinion it is better for the child to be raised by the parent, and not by daycare, or a babysitter, or other family members. (Thats just me though!)

Answer 10

This is something that should have been discussed before the baby came.....but don't worry, lots of babies go to daycare and turn out great! Your baby will NEVER call anyone else mamma! Just make sure the time ya'll have together is quality!