Who should walk me down the isle?

Question

I met my father when I was 18 and he has been their since. I just turned 24... He is what we would consider ok.. Doesnt call or make me feel like he is a parent but also hasnt ever treated me the way my mother has....... On the other hand my mother will probably be completely offended because she raised 3 kids and he didnt do anything but live 30 minutes away and never see us..... She is paying for the wedding but also she was the one who raised me. I was thinking about doing it alone but affraid of falling on my face. I wanted to have them both do it but I just dont like that idea either. I am his only daughter and my mothers only daughter.... I AM SOOOOOO CONFUSED.....

Answer 1

DO you have a grandfather that is still alive and that you are close to? Tell both your parents that since Grampa won't be alive for that much longer you would like him to walk you down the isle so you have something special to remember about him. That should save any hurt feelings and could also be a nice moment to share with your grand dad

Answer 2

I don't think it really will matter who will walk you down the aisle. Your mother probably does not expect to do it. Traditionally (thought it does not have to be that way) a male relative or friend walks the bride down the aisle. When the minister asks who gives the bride in marriage, both your mother and father can answer. During my wedding (long ago), my father walked me down the aisle, but when asked who gives the bride, he said, "her mother and I do." Your father can either answer that way or you can have your mother stand and she and your father can say it together. Or you can ask the minister to skip that part of the ceremony.

Go with your feelings about who you would like to walk you down the aisle. Talk to your mother about who she thinks should walk you down the aisle. It is better to get that part over with now. That way you will be able to enjoy your wedding.

Best wishes for a wonderful ceremony and a very happy marriage.

Answer 3

I may need some clarification on "hasnt ever treated me the way my mother has" - good or bad?
Now it sounds like you already know your decision- your mom.
Because she's been around, because she's paying for the wedding.
The only reason you're confused is because traditionally the dad walks the bride down the asile.
Well traditionally, dads don't leave their kids and don't know them until they're 18.
So I say do what you want to do. Its YOUR DAY. Its one of the FEW days in your life where you are queen. So don't worry about anyone else's feelings. Just choose what you want. You don't even owe an explaination.

Answer 4

My sister in law was in a similar situation. Her father really has not been part of her life and her mom has been there for her. She elected to have her mom walk her down the aisle. We loved it, it was beautiful, it had meaning for her mom, and her mom felt very honored.

I like the suggestion that someone else had. Is there someway to have your dad be part of this in another fashion?

Another suggestion. A friend of mine had her sons walk her down the aisle (for her later marriage), each son took a part of the walk with her. What about having your father start the walk and then have your mom finish the walk? Your mom then could be the one to give you away when the minister asks.

You sound like you want to please others in your wedding and that is fine. Except, this is YOUR wedding, and the person who should give you away should be the person that really has meant something to you as a parent.

Answer 5

In the end, it's your wedding...no one else's. So you need to do whatever you feel the most comfortable with. If you want your mother there, since she raised you, then have her with you. If you think it's also appropriate for your father to be there, then do that as well. Again, if you want them both to do it, then do that too. Even if it make them uncomfortable, they should be willing to sacrifice for your happiness if that's what you want. So, in the end, I would definitely either have your mother or both.

My friend just got married (her parents are divorced) and she had both of her parents walk her down the aisle and everything was fine. :)

Answer 6

This is your wedding. Do what makes YOU happy. However, your mom is picking up the tab for this happy event.

I am sorry to say, but I sympathize with your mom. If your father was a real dad, he would have been there from the start, not only after you turned 18! He should have thought about this when you were growing up without him!!!
I would say have your mom walk you since she was the only real parent you had when you were young and really needed advice and parenting.

Answer 7

I've never heard of a Mother walking her daughter down the isle, so I would think your Mom would understand if you asked your Dad! How your Dad was over the years has nothing to do with you and you don't need to plan around how your Mom feels about him not doing anything. Just do what YOU WANT TO DO on your day, and let everyone else deal with however they feel about it!!! THIS IS YOUR SPECIAL DAY AND YOU GET TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!

Answer 8

Would let your father walk you down the aisle...Moms have a special place in the wedding just being there in the front aisle. I carried two long stemmed roses in my bouquet and when I walked up (with my dad) and got to the front row, I paused and reached my dad's wife a rose and left one in a vacant spot left for my deceased mom. Was a special gesture towards them. Maybe you could sort of do that same thing, and give your mom a rose and recognize her as special. Have a great wedding and don't worry too much.

Answer 9

I would say maybe an uncle or grandfather would be next, but if you want to have your mom do it, then do it. It is YOUR day sweetie, and if only one time in your life, you get to make all the decisions! Tradition has pretty much gone out the window now a days....Congrats on your big day and I would ultimately say, talk it over with you fiance and you guys decide and don't worry about what will look good or seem right!

Answer 10

If your mother has meant so much in your life, why don't you have a heart to heart with her and ask what she wants. She might feel funny about walking you down the aisle--you never know. I have seen brides walked down the aisle by fathers, mothers, both, and dear friends. You could also have your fiance escort you down the aisle. There are lots of options. Do what feels right to you.